Why? Why me?

Chapter 5

Apparently, i have become a role model student and i did not know. My old school asked me to do a video for them to upload it to Facebook.So i did. Heath had a profile, so i was more than happy to do it. I am sure he would see me. He had congratulated me because i had won a drawing contest, or let's rather say i ended up as a runner-up, but that was totally enough for me. I had been on TV for an interview, and it was totally awesome. I was famous back in town. And i'm sure Heath was proud of me. Or rather thought i was a bragging diva.... Don't get me wrong, but before i lost my phone, i ultimately received texts from Natalie, kinda her cyber-bullying me, which was very hard and rude, Molly and Xiomara were telling me Heath had turned his back on me, and that he had called me a bitch.... But what did i do to deserve this?

I still did not know if Heath had answered or at least if he had seen it. He had betrayed me, that is for sure. I was so confused i just wanted to sleep and never ever wake up again. My parents refused and still do, to buy me a cellphone. But i am kind of okay with it. I do not want anything to do with those bitches back in town. Or at least i did not. Now i actually don't care. But i am so confused about Heath. Does he love me? Or does he hate me? Please, i want to know. Why can't i fucking know!?.

Sorry. It's just that i've been confused for so long, i had stopped seeking for answers and waiting for them to come to me.

They never did. And i do not know how to find any answer. I just think, or used to, that life is a bitch. How can people say life is wonderful? It is awful, unfair, horrible and plain mean. If life was a person, i am sure that person would hate me. And she would bother me every single day.

But you know what? I later discovered, that things happen for a reason. Heath doesn't answer for a reason. I am who i am for a reason. We all are. So life isn't a bitch. Life is a riddle. A very hard one. And the only way of solving it is death. But oh, come on i am thirteen years old, can we not talk about death? Thanks.

I think i am kinda obsessed with Heath. But then i don't. Because there is no way for me to stalk him and write down every single thing he does. That would be weird, and i wouldn't like to invade his personal space. I would get on my social media, but my parents do not know i have social media, because i am not supposed to. And my parents are checking on me every second. So no. They even used to read my conversations with my friends. Like that's so overprotective. That is extra overprotective. And i hate it.

I hate i because they do not know all of this love life hiding behind my face. I hate it because they are very overprotective. I hate it because they think that i am going to flee and never come back again. I hate it because i can not be normal. I hate it because i miss Heath.

I hate it hate it hate it hate it HATE IT.

And i really don't want to hate it.

Oscar seems to have a great relationship wit Audrey, and that kind of hurt. Or it did. Carl. Well i do not know, but i think Carl likes me.... I don't know, but he has been talking to me lately. A LOT. Amd it is annoying. James was just nice. And Mike, well Mike seemed to have a weird relationship with Elizabeth, and i did not want to interfere with it, so i prefer thinking he doesn't like me. Because Elizabeth is nice, and if i discover Mike is cheating on her with me, i do not know what would happen. So no.

The only thing i want now is a donut.

Donuts just, make me feel waaay better.

Donuts bring good memories.

Donuts remember me of Heath.

At my first date with Heath, we ate donuts. That might explain everything else.

Besides they are yummy.

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So i got my donut. I got my good time. And i am back to the shitty world.

Did i mention that Heath sent me some letters before i lost my phone?. No. Well, i don't know if it was exactly Heath, but they were love letters and i got three of them. And i don't know who they are from. And i do not want to figure it was someone other than Heath.

Does Heath have a girlfriend? I don't think so. He assured me he didn't and wouldn't as did i.

         Ah, hell. Why? Why me?          (Scroll down for more)

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Guys thank you so much for reading this! This is the point in my life where i have not made any choices. As i said before, this is a 100% real story. No fiction involved, only the names but for security reasons. I want you, to tell me what would you like to happen next and how would you like to finish Em and Heath's love. Tell me on my mailbox. Winner and contestants will get a shoutout. Thanks!
BTW, i am going to keep writing, it will be what i imagine, but then, when something really happens, i will write it, but with other titles. Well let's keep on going.