Recklessly falling

Lisa Winters

Lisa’s POV

It’s been a week since the incident with Jack and Chase at the beach. Whole week i’ve ignored Cameron, even though there were some moments when we would see each other, and we would act like strangers, like nothing happened. I couldn’t deny the fact that it was fun having both Jack and Chase around, even though I barely knew Jack there was something about him that makes me smile like an idiot, crazy right? And Chase, chase is still wonderful just as I remembered. He treated me like we’ve been hanging out this past few years and I like the idea of seeing him again, just like the old times. Today is Saturday, and I’m sitting by the window reading a book which is a love story between two different people, who is both lost, but ended up finding each other. In this situation I will probably think it’s too cliché. But it’s different this time, the emotions behind the guy and the girl brings butterflies in my stomach, like they’re real people. It’s crazy really.

After reading a chapter, I stared blankly on the view at my window. I just stared at the endless stirring cars or how the people would walk down the streets and enjoy each other’s company. Everything seems so fake, like This was all just a dream, it seems perfect having the perfect view, and the perfect life, but everyone didn’t knew my life was so far from perfect. No one knew who I was except for Kacey and Melissa. I want to cry. I want to break down. No one knew that I’m still breaking, no one knew that. Melissa died because of me, I could’ve saved her, but no I was too coward to save her.

No one knew about that incident except me, my parents and Kacey.  And no matter how much I deny it, the pain is still there, it was bound to stay in my heart forever and haunt me. I wanted someone to save me, even though I pretend I don’t.  

It broke me when Cameron broke up with me, I’ve always knew we were perfect for each other. That he was my distress. He was too special, it’s not even funny. But I guess I was wrong, I was wrong about him. I loved him like my life depended on it. I knew that I still love him, and I care so deeply for him. I knew about his reputation before we were together, but I still gave it a try, I fell under his charms. I’ve always believed that I can be the girl to change his ways, to tame him, and clearly I thought I did. He was so sweet, he was gentle, He was always there. He’s a gentle man he treated me like I was the only girl in the world, treated me like i’m his queen and he’s my king. He called me beautiful and treated me as his own world, as I did to him, he was my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, my prince, my saviour. But I guess there really isn’t a happy ending, we are all doomed to be completely wrecked and broken. It’s crazy that I believed that for once everything was perfect in my life, that finally Melissa can be erased in my mind forever, but I guess it’s really crazy for me to think that.

Everyone thought I was okay, I show them my happy face, and my fake smile. I didn’t want anyone knowing my baggage and feeling pity on me. Since that incident I don’t want anyone’s sympathy, even my parents or Kacey. I didn’t need anyone to save me from this darkness, All I wan’t is to show everyone I did, even though I’d be lying, I couldn’t give two shits. No one deserves a girl with a lot of baggage, no one deserves me. But then again, there’s Cameron, who I thought saved me from my misery. It all happens too fast that I can’t keep up with it. I knew I wasn’t going to be genuinely happy anytime now. But I can’t help but let my mind wonder to a certain new kid that got my heart racing 100 times faster, and who gives me electrifying volts when I feel his skin.

This chapter is dedicated to Lisa. I just want to give you insights about Lisa. J