Never Trust Your Demons

23

"Finally!" Stan sighs. "After all these long years of waiting, you're actually here! Brother!"
What the heck is going on?! Stan has a brother?! Dipper, Mabel, Soos and I can only stare. Thankfully this newfound fact has-if only temporarily-distracted everyone from what happened with my flaming up.... everyone except me, that is.
Stan's brother punches Stan in the face and we move back collectively in surprise.
"Ow! What the heck was that for?!" Stan growls.
"This was an insanely risky move: restarting the portal!" His brother responds, equally as hostile. "Didn't you read my warnings?!"
"Warnings, schmarnings. How's about maybe a thanks for saving you from what appears to be, I don't know, some kind of sci-fi side burn dimension?"
"Thank you? You really think I'm gonna thank you after what you DID THIRTY YEARS AGO?!" Jeez, talk about holding a grudge. Thirty years?! You'd have thought he'd mature.
"What I did? Why, you ungrateful..." Stan indignantly swings a punch, but his brother ducks "Don't expect me to go easy on you, just because you're... family!" His brother pins his hand behind his back, slamming him to the ground. "Ah!"
"Hey," Mabel speaks up, stepping forward. "Hi. Mabel here. Quick question: WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!"
"Stan," The author stares in shock, letting go. "You didn't tell me there were children down here. And..." Please say a teenager, please say a teenager... "Some sort of large, hairless gopher?"
"Heh heh. I get that a lot," Soos laughed.
I sigh. "Why must I always be referred to as a kid or child..." I grumble.
"They're your family, Poindexter. Shermy's grandkids," Stan stands up next to "Poindexter."
"I-I have a nieces and a nephew?" He shakes Mabel's hand. With his six fingered hands. "Greetings. Do kids still say greetings? I haven't been in this dimension for a really long time."
"I... can tell..." I'm still trying to wrap my head around this.
"Whoa, a six-fingered handshake? It's a full finger friendlier than normal!"
"Heha, I like this kid. She's weird," Poindexter laughs.
"I-I can't believe it. You're the author of the journals!" Dipper is about to go full fanboy.
"You've read my journals?" Poindexter looks surprised.
"I haven't just read them; I've lived them!" He starts walking in circles. "I've been waiting for so long to meet you, I-I don't know what to say I have so many question, I-" He starts to hyperventilate. "Oooooohhh I think I'm gonna throw up," I inch away from him a bit.
"Did not need to know that..." I mutter pushing back my bangs. As they fall back into place, I find myself looking at my long lost Grunkle.
"Umm...." I'm not exactly sure what to say in this situation. "So... you have six fingers too...?" I lift my hand right hand to wave. He continues to stare at me, almost as if he was confused by something. "Are... you okay?"
He suddenly moves away. "Listen, there'll be time for introductions later. But first, tell me, Stan: are there any security breaches? Does anyone else know about this portal?"
"No, just us," He pauses. "Also maybe the entire U.S. government."
"The what?!" The author screams.
"Fan out!" I jump in surprise at one of the agent's voice, but sigh in relief when I see it's only a security camera. "We're not going anywhere till we find Stan Pines and those kids!"
Stan's brother sighs in exasperation. "Okay. It's all right. We've got a while before they find this room. We just need to lay low and think of a plan."
"Well, it looks like we're stuck down here for a while," Mabel seems excited. Me, I just want to get out of here so i can find Bill and chew him out, not to mention keep Dipper from remembering my weird flames and...suspicious behavior. "Who wants to tell us their entire mysterious backstory?!"
"Yes, I have some questions about this myself, Stanley," Stan's brother says.
"Stanley?" Dipper asks.
"Hold up, what?!"
"But your name is Stanford," Mabel points to Grunkle Stan.
"Wait, you took my name?!" ....Stanford says. "What have you been doing all these years, you knucklehead?!"
"Yeah, Grunkle Stan, no more lies!" Dipper is back to the angry self he's been the last half day. "You owe us some answers: What's the deal with this portal? Why did you keep this a secret?"
"And what happened between you and your brother?"
"Thirty years ago?" I add. Seriously. I want to know what happened that would have caused full grown men to still hold a grudge.
"I hope all this aligns exactly with my fanfic,Stan," Soos demands. "If not, I will be very disappointed."
A fanfiction, Soos? Really?
"Okay okay okay," Stan sighs. "I have a lot of explaining to do. It all started... a lifetime ago..."

((Sorry, i really don't feel like adding a chapter and a half's worth of dialogue.
That'd be really boring))

Roughly half an hour later, Stan's finished his story.
"...So all this time you were just trying to save your brother. Grunkle Stan," Dipper sighs. "I'm so sorry I didn't believe you...."
"That's okay, kid," Stan chuckles. "I probably wouldn't have believed me either."
"I heard talking!" I jump in surprise at a voice upstairs. "It was coming from downstairs!"
"Oh no, it's too late!" Stan gasps. "The agents are comin' for us!"
"What do we do?!" Mabel asks, standing up.
"Aw, man," Soos sighs. "I was so spellbound by your dramatic tale I forgot all about those dudes!"
"Honestly, so did I," I groan.
"Wait, forget..." Dipper mumbles. "That's it! I think I know a way we might be able to defeat those agents!" He takes a Memory erasing gun out of a bag and gives it to Stanford.
"You have that forgeterizer thing in there from the Society? What else did you plan on needing?" How'd it fit in his bag anyways?
"Of course!' Stanford and Dipper ignore me. "I don't know how you got a hold of one of these but, this is perfect! If I can just amplify the signal to a radio headset frequency..." He plugs some wires into the gun. On the screen, we can see the agents running into the shack. "There. Now everyone PLUG YOUR EARS! GET DOWN! NOW!"
Everyone crouches and plugs their ears, and a wave pulses through the shack and yard.
We cautiously and quickly make our way upstairs.
"Stay here," Stanford instructs us. "Stand down, gentlemen!" He calls, stepping outside. "I've been sent with the latest intel from Washington," He pulls out a stack of papers that appear to be some of Mabel's drawings. "According to this very real report, the power surges in Gravity Falls were actually due to radiation from an unreported meteor shower. A total embarrassment for your whole department. Luckily I'm here to take this mess off your hands, but I'll need of all your... floppy disks, and 8-tracks...right?"
I sigh, trying not to smack my forehead. He really needs to get caught up on the dimension.
"Uh, everything about this case is contained on this drive..." One agent says as the other hands him a flash drive.
There's a pause.
"Well, what are you waiting for, a kiss on the cheek?" Stanford demands. "Get out of here before I have your butts court-martialed!"
"Uhh, yes sir. Apologies, sir," The agent whistles. "False alarm, everyone!" The government agents all leave. Stanford gives Gompers the flash drive, and the goat runs away with it in his mouth.

"Great uncle Stanford, that was amazing!" Mabel and Dipper run out to him.
"Let's not go crazy," Stan grumbles as he, Soos and I stand in the doorway of the shack. "It was serviceable."
I see the grudge goes a bit both ways.
"Thank you, kids," Stanford chuckles. "But please, call me Ford."
"Sure! Thanks, Great Uncle Ford," Dipper seems a bit anxious. "So, uh," He holds up a pen and notepad and clicks the pen repetitively and eagerly. "Would you mind if I ask you a couple billion questions about Gravity Falls?"
I laugh. "Just a couple billion?" I laugh harder.
"Um, well I-uh..." Ford turns a bit flustered.
"All right, kids," Stan stops Ford from giving any intelligent answer. "It's been a long day and me and my brother have a lot to talk about. Why don't you hit the hay, huh?"
"But...but..." Dipper protests. "It's the author!" He clicks the pen more rapidly. "I've been waiting so long to ask questions about-"
"I said. Hit. The hay!" Stan pushes the three of us inside.
"Actually, Stanley, I need to talk to...uh...." He glances at me. "This young lady."
Now that's much better than kid.
"Conifer, but everyone calls me Connie," I tell him, stepping back outside.
"Well, Conifer, could I speak to you about something? Privately?" He glances around me at Stan.
"Um... sure, I guess..." I follow him around to the side of the house
"Conifer..." He says as soon as we're alone. "Have you encountered any one-eyed triangles any time lately?"
I can feel Bill enter my mind again. Ford looks around anxiously.
"I-i have..."
"Wait, what are you doing?!" Bill seems more panicked than angry.
Chill, I need an alibi. You'll be fine. Though I'm not exactly sure why I'm still helping.
"You have?! What happened?!"
"I... uh... I'm not sure," I lie. "At one point, I wanted his help getting out of this government car and finding out who Stan really was... there was blue fire and a handshake and... then I wasn't in control."
"So that was Bill..." Ford muses. "When did he leave?"
"Like, right after you came through the portal," I pretend to think.
"Good. Listen, Conifer. Bill is a dangerous monster who will do whatever he can to bring to pass his weird-pocalypse. Promise me, if you even see him again, you'll let me know as soon as possible. And never make another deal with him, you got that?"
I nod slowly. "O...kay..."
"Great! Now, really, Stanley and I do have a lot to talk about, so off you go. And uh... don't tell the others. Best not to let them worry."
I nod and run into the house hoping he didn't notice.
Behind my back, my fingers were crossed.