Never Trust Your Demons

58

"This isn't gonna work, Gideon!" Wendy friend as Dipper and I struggle.
"Oh?" Gideon replies smugly. "And why's that?"
"Cause after I break Ghost-Eyes' arm and steal that key from your neck," She snaps. "I'm gonna wear your butt on my foot like a rhinestone slipper!"
The other henchmen laugh.
"No, she'll do it," I cross my arms.
"Oho, and what makes you think you can do all that?" Gideon chuckles.
"'Cause I'm a flippin' CORDUROY!" With an incredible display of upper body strength, she flips herself over Ghost-eyes' arm, pulling him backwards. As he stumbles, he drops Dipper and I. Dipper ducks down, tripping Ghost-Eyes.
"Ghost-Eyes!" Gideon cries out. "My hench-angel!"
"Ha!" Wendy leaps up to the truck he's standing on, grabbing him and ripping the key from his neck. "Get back!" She shouts to the prisoners, jumping down to join Dipper and I next to a graffitied car. She hands Dipper the key. "Get back! Or I will drop-kick him, I swear!" I stifle a laugh as she punches through a window and unlocks the doors.
"You'll never get away with this, ya hear me?!" Gideon squeals.
"Guess what?" Wendy opens the door. "We already DID!" She promptly drop-kicks him, sending him flying into the other "auto-discount warriors" with a pig-like screech that nearly makes me double over with laughter.
"Wendy," Dipper says as he and I get into the car after Wendy, me still trying to gain control of my laughter. "You're the coolest person I know."
"I know, dude," Wendy smiles. "Tell me about it later," She slams her foot on the gas and the car speeds away.
"Okay," Dipper sighs, looking at the key in his hand. "All we have to do is outrace Gideon's henchmen, unlock the bubble, save Mabel, save the world."
"Seems simple enough," I shrug. Then we crash through a mailbox.
"Quick question: did you ever get your driver's license?" Dipper asks a bit nervously
"Definitely not," Wendy replies with no hesitation. "Arm!" She swerves to avoid the monster that was trying to break into the mall earlier.
"Ah!" Dipper and I scream in response.
Behind us, the creature has grabbed one of the cars that contain Gideon and his henchmen, who are now chasing us.
Coming up fast is a field of madness bubbles.
"Watch it!" Dipper warns.
"Go around that bubble field!" I tell Wendy.
"No way around! Hold on!"
"What?!"
"We're goin' through!"
"That's a really bad idea!" I protest.
"What's even in there?!" Dipper is equally as opposed.
"Ah!" We all scream as we don't even slow down.

I brace myself as we fly into the bubble. When I hear the chirping of birds, I dare to open my eyes. A rainbow hyperspace greets me through the windshield.
"Well, this isn't that bad..." I twitter.
Wait... Twitter?!
That's when I vaguely notice my nose is a bit longer, harder, and more grey. I nearly shriek when I realize I have a beak. Dipper and Wendy also have the head of a bird.
Both of them tweet something about worms and migrating before the rainbows fade to white and we exit the bubble.
"Ugh!" Dipper coughs up feathers. "That was horrible!"
"I'll say," I groan, pulling a feather out of my own mouth.
"Here comes another one, guys!" Wendy announces. "Brace yourselves!"
The next couple of seconds are a blur, but I think at some point I was part bacon.
When we come out of the field,  Gideon's truck is close behind. Ghost-Eyes slams his truck against our car, breaking the glass of Wendy's window and mine.
"Ah!" Broken glass flies through the car, slicing a tad too close to my skin.
"Wendy, we're almost there!" Dipper shouts. "We just have to make that jump!"
"Jump?!" I shriek, looking ahead to see the gorge separating us from the bubble.
"Total lack of driver's training, don't fail me now!" Wendy clenches her teeth, gripping the steering wheel as she accelerates.
"AAAAHHHH!" The three of us scream as we fly into the air. For a second, it looks like we're going to make it.
Actually, that's a lie. From the very beginning it looked like we we going to die. We start to drop, the front of the car tipping forward, and it looks even more like we're going to die young. By some miracle, the car hits the other side of the gap. Or relief, however, is extremely short-lived as its momentum causes it to continue flipping over, sending us all tumbling around inside. I must've hit my head a couple....dozen times, because once the car stops moving, I have a major headache and my vision blurs in and out. All three of us are covered in cuts and bruises.
"Ugh..." I manage to push open my door, falling out to stare at the ominous orange-pink sky
"So... close..." As I prop myself up, I hear Dipper crawling out as well. "Mabel... I'm... almost there..."
I pull myself to a standing position and find a familiar-shaped, hooded/cloaked figure standing in front of Dipper
"Heya, Dipper!" The figure holds out his hand to Dipper, pulling off his hood to reveal Soos. "How's it hanging?"
"Soos!" Dipper exclaims.
"Soos," I sigh in relief at the same time.
"Soos?" Wendy stands up next to me, cradling her arm.
"Handyman of the apocalypse, at your service," Soos tips his hat.
"Soos! How'd you-where'd you-?" Dipper stammers.
"I've been wandering the plains like a desperado, helping strangers... l guess there's some folk songs about me now? Let me see what the damage is, here," Soos comes over, checking Wendy's arm. "Ah, well the good news is: your arm is okay."
"So...what's the bad news?" Dipper asks.
"Is my skull cracked or something?" I half-joke, holding a hand up to my head. "Because it honestly feels that way."
"Bad news is we're surrounded, dudes," Soos says regrettably.
In deed, Gideon's men-as well as Gideon himself-have parked their trucks around us, laughing and cheering triumphantly.
I mutter something unladylike under my breath.