Never Trust Your Demons

40

I wince as I dangle from my leg, seeming to stretch out the bullet wound and make it worse. I'm hanging just off the quarterdeck where Gideon and Cipher stand, so higher off the ground than I feel I should be.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did that hurt?" Cipher chuckles in a way that I know he's not even sorry in the slightest.
"Shut up...." I grunt in response. "Pirates, phsychic crew member, prophecy surrounding a feared pirate, magical ship... did you copy the plot of On Stranger Tides?"
"Huh? What's tha-"
"I mean, what's next, mermaids?" If you can't beat 'em... confuse 'em and hope they don't blow your face off while making yet another sloppy escape plan. I've now got to add a limp and a possessed ship into the mix.
"...You're not making any sense," He cocks his gun again.
"Am I supposed to?" My head begins to pound as the blood rushes to it.
He growls, then spits, hitting my eye.
"Okay, gross," I flick it away, wincing as I accidentally rub the bullet wound on my cheek. He grins, sickeningly satisfactorily.
"Here's how it works," He crouches down to eye level with me. "You aren't going to cause any more trouble and do what I say, and I decide to possibly spare your life."
"How about my idea? I liked my idea better," I reach up, trying to pull myself right-side up.
"I never figured the key to my fate would be an annoying little brat..." He grumbles.
"Fate? I thought I just somehow had to do with-" I'm cut off by his boot once again making contact with my cheek-the same one, might I add-and I fall back to upside-down. "Would you stop that? I'm already going to bruise there!"
"Shut up. And yes, fate," He answers my question.
"In addition to being the key to the kings demise," Gideon adds. "If left alive or off our crew, you do indeed have the power to... destroy hi-"
"That's enough, Master Gleeful," Cipher snarls.
"Oh, so all I have to do is not join your crew and you'll die."
"Or we'd kill you."
"Oh right," I swallow nervously. "That too."
"So," He draws his sword, which makes a vibrating sound and the ropes lift me higher. "Which will it be? Join my scurvy crew and have a better chance at living to see tomorrow? Or," The edge of his sword traces my chin. "Just choose to die now?"
"There an option C?" A gruff, familiar voice calls out of nowhere. Cipher looks over to the source, eyes wide before narrowing into a glower. I try to twist myself to see them, but I can only hear the cannon fire as the ropes drop me and I crash back to the main deck.

"....asking if she's okay again."
"It's only been two minutes since he last asked! Where's Captain Stanley?"
"Working out a payment. We got lucky that time, but that was a risk we took, taking the Mindscape head on."
I hear familiar voices around me. I'm alive then? Ooh, I have a headache though.
"Great, now where an I...?" I groan, sitting up. "Gah!" I grunt. "Okay, that made it worse..." I sigh, opening my eyes. A redheaded teen girl is in front of me, and next to her is a brown-haired preteen boy.
Pirates Dipper and Wendy.
"Listen, thanks for saving me and all, but could you have done it without slamming my head into some..." My voice trails off as I hear voices out in the hallway.
"C'mon, hand it over!" Hello, pirate Stan.
" You never said anything about price! I just told you I needed to find her and you dragged me onboard to chase that Mindscape ship!"
"Hey, that's-"
"I mentioned the price under my breath, so-"
The door slams open. Bill stands there.
My Bill.
"Police Box!" He gasps, running over. "Are you okay?! What happened?!"
I smile. He had been freaking out. "I'm fine," I start, but inhale sharply as pain shoots up my leg when I shift it. "I think... but basically it was all one really bad decision after another."
"Why'd you run off like that?!" He shakes me gently.
"You were asleep-drunk asleep-and I didn't exactly want to sit there lingering in the stench of alcohol... I thought the streets were empty, but I was wrong..."
"There was a-"
"How'd this happen?" Bill cuts off Wendy, cradling my cheeks and running a thumb along where the bullet grazed me.
"Ow," I wince, and he recoils quickly. "Yeah...I was shot at a couple times."
"Shot?!"
"Hey, it wasn't my fault throwing a spool of thread at him was enough to tip him off balance," I mutter.
"Look," Stan says. "You got real lucky we showed up in time, otherwise it would have been worse than a bullet lodged in your leg."
"There's a bullet in my leg?!" I gasp. Now that he mentions it, there's an uncomfortable amount of blood bleeding onto the blanket.
"You've got a bandage, and the blood should stop soon, but you're going to have a limp for at least a while," Dipper tells me.
"Great," I sigh. One more thing to hide from the others when-if we get back. "Can... can I talk with him alone for a minute?" I point to Bill. The others glance at him, then nod, leaving the room and closing the door behind them.
"Thank chaos you're okay!!" He grabs me in a hug, holding me close. "I-i mean..." He pushes himself away. "Don't run off like that, you've still got to get home..." He grumbles.
I smile. "You going soft on me?" I laugh.
"No!" He indignantly replies. "Just... tell me what happened to you..."
"Well... long story short, I was kidnapped, knocked out a quarter dozen times, and coerced into helping fulfill some prophecy. Then... I uh... I threw a spool of thread at the captain and he shot at me..." I rub my ear.
"... Sounds kind of like what I would do..."
"He's got some anger management. Then there was just one convenient thing after another."
"Hm... convenience and luck," He reaches into my bag. "Huh, it worked," He grins, pulling out the compass.

"What worked?" I watch as he opens the compass, glances at me, then snaps it shut.
"This," He holds the compass by a string, letting it swing like a pendulum. "Is the compass of none other than Jack Sparrow. I gave it to him, or at least gave him the means to get it, so at some point, I saw it fair to take it back. He wanted some luck, so that's what it has. That's how everything seemed to work out for him... and probably why you're not dead."
"If it really was lucky, Cipher wouldn't have hit me," I grumble, looking down at my leg.
"'Cipher'?"
"Yeah, the guy who nearly killed me in this dimension's you," I feel a frown drawn across my face.
A grin crosses his to match it.
"Do you mean to tell me," I can't hold back a smile. He sounds exactly like Jack Sparrow. "There's another Bill Cipher out there, sullying my good name?"
"Yeah," I laugh. "'Good,'" I place air quotes around the word.
"Oh, come on, the quote works," He rolls his eyes. "But yeah, the compass doesn't always work its best. I mean Jack was in jail at some points, got mutinied, and eaten by a kraken, so it could've been worse.
"Hm. So where are we now? And did you really get help from my family in this dimension?"
"The Mystery Hull is what they call it... and... not exactly. I just said a friend had gone missing, and Shooting Star-at least, this Shooting Star-volen-told the other to help find you."
"Speaking of which, where is-"
The door suddenly opens, cutting me off. Ford walks in.
"Dipper, you haven't seen the-" He looks up and stops, seeing Bill and I. "You!" He shouts, drawing a sword and glaring at Bill. With no other warning he leaps at him. I lunge between them, drawing Bill's sword and raising it to block the attack. The swords clang together and I gasp as a jolt of pain runs through my body, starting from my leg. I can't even catch myself as I fall. Not that I needed to, seeing as Bill did.
"Ow..." I wince as he helps me back up. "What was that for?!" I turn my attention to Ford.
I see Dipper, Stan, and Mabel come up behind him.
"What's your name?" He asks.
"I... my name?" He nods. "Conifer... but please just call me Connie, Conifer drives me crazy."
He smiles, sighs, then shakes his head. "That kid isn't a fake after all," He grabs my wrist. "Come on."
"Wait, what?" I stumble after him, stopping as I once again recognize the pain in my leg.
"There's no time. We need to make our plan to dethrone Cipher as King of the Seas."