Never Trust Your Demons

48

I walk through the woods, a wave of uncertainty rushing through me.
They know now, at least two of them do. It probably won't be long before the others do too.
I stop by a tree, slumping to the ground and burying my head in my arms.
Who do I trust? The thought runs through my head. Trust no one, Soon follows.
"What'cha doing out here?" I look up and see Bill forming in the tree above me, laying on one of the branches.
"I could ask you the same thing," I cross my arms over my knees, resting my head on them.
"Wondering what's wrong and... why you're out in these woods in the middle of the night."
"Why? Oh, right, because if something happens to me, you have your little puppet spy anymore," I snap.
He sigh, jumping down from the tree. "Look I didn't want you t-"
"To know? Ever? Because then I'd do everything in my power to keep you out? Wow, you're psychic," I grumble.
He puts a hand on mine. "No, I-" I pull my hand away, glaring at him. "I wanted to tell you before Sixer did."
"Then why didn't you?"
"...The time wasn't right. It never was," He leans against the tree next to me. "Wow," He chuckles after a pause. "You really like leaning against this tree, don't you?"
"What do you mean?"
"This is the tree you fell asleep against on your first day... and the tree you slightly scorched last week," He points to a burn mark, hardy discernible in the dark.
"Oh... cool," I look back down.
"Look, Conifer-"
"Don't call me that,"
"...Police Box..." He sighs. "He...Sixer wasn't lying. I... my plan was just to use you as a puppet. But I-"
"So all of this was a lie," I force a laugh. "Everything I've done with you over this summer has been a dumb lie to bring the end of the world as we know it. And it'll be my fault because I'm too trusting. Ugh!" I stand up, stomping my foot. "I'm so stupid!"
"No, Police Box! Don't let them tell you that! You just-" He sighs. "Your heart's too big, Police Box. And too often people are gonna want to tear you up for that..."
"Just... just leave me alone now!" My voice raises. "Or do you still just need me to get the rift? I swear," I growl. "If you try to control me, I will not hesitate to do anything in my own power to stop you. Even if that includes taking my own life." 
"Your own life?!" I can see some panic in Bill's eye. "Don't be dumb you-"
"What do you care?" I snap. "You're just a demon from another dimension. You don't know how to feel. You don't know how to care. You don't know how to love."

Bill stares at me, stunned. I turn away, walking back to the shack.
"Wait... wait, Con-...Police Box!" I hear his footsteps running after me. I ignore them and him. I come out of the woods. As I approach the shack, I hear a thud behind me, and a ripple of rainbows flies above my head.
"Huh?" I look behind me, and I see Bill standing there, rubbing his head.
"Ow..." He groans. He puts a hand forward, then recoils as another ripple of rainbow coloring reveals a dome around the shack. "Ugh!" He growls, kicking the dome. "Dumb unicorn hair... Shooting Star must be back by now."
He can't get in. I stare at him for a moment before turning and walking into the shack.
"Wait-!" I cut him off as the door closes behind me. I brush past Dipper's glare, going to my room. The door closes softly behind me. I walk over and fall on my bed.
"Ugh..." I groan, putting my glasses aside. "What a day..." I roll over, facing out the window. "Dipper's never going to trust me again...same with Mabel... still know nothing about Ford..." How did he know about Bill before? And how long has he known?
I turn over, screaming into my pillow.
"Please, my life was crazy enough with trigonometry," I hug it to my chest, sitting up. I lean backwards, falling back on the bed. "At least now I know why Ford doesn't trust me," I sigh, closing my eyes.

I stay in my room, reclusive, for the next couple days. I ignore Mabel's constant door knocks, but even so,  everything seems way too quiet. Bill's no longer moving in and out of my brain, making conversation,
Which also means I can focus more on other things. I try to convince myself this.
Bill leaving is only an upside.

I open my eyes to a sunny day.
Because waking up bright and early was just what I needed today.
I consider getting out of bed, but what would be the point? Bill would enter my mind the instant I step out of the unicorn bubble, and I really don't want to deal with a withering Dipper glare right now.
I roll over, reaching down to the floor to find my beat up backpack and sketchbook. I find it and the broken pencil. I sigh, searching through it for another.
I continue drawing Ten and Rose, until I hear a car or something pull up in front of the shack. I look out the window and see Stan and Soos out by an RV. Mabel comes out as Grenda and Candy come in from town, all three with a backpack and talking about something currently indiscernable. Dipper comes out, talking to Stan for a bit before Mabel brings out a box. Papers fly out of it as she drops it. After they talk a bit more, Dipper climbs in and the RV drives away.
Huh. Wonder where they're going.
Wherever it is, it's no surprise they didn't invite me.

I leave my room, glad to be able to stretch my legs without worrying about Dipper's extreme judgement. And, hopefully, Ford will be back downstairs or doing something so he doesn't notice me.
I sigh, looking through the fridge for something to eat. I pull out a Pitt Cola, closing it behind me.
"Greetings, Conifer."
"OH MY GOSH!" I yelp in surprise, dropping the can, which promptly explodes once it hits the floor.
I turn and find Ford sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and one of the journals.
"O-oh... greetings..." I chuckle nervously, rubbing the back of my neck. "Er, I mean...hi." I look down at the floor. I shake my head pulling another Pitt Cola out of the fridge. I'll take care of that later. "So, um... where'd the others go?"
"Stanley has a vendetta against the other tourist traps around Oregon for pranking him. They'll be back within a couple days."
"Oh..." I think for a minute. "Well that's a strange thing to do. I mean we just barely shielded the shack from Bill's influence, why would they just leave..." I realize I probably shouldn't have mentioned Bill. "Uh... guess I'll see you," I start back to my room.
"Wait, Conifer, I'd like to talk to you," Ford stops me. I turn back around to face him. "Sit down, please."
"Fine," I sit down. "But please call me Connie. It's weird to have people say a tree's name to address me," I open my soda, sitting in the chair opposite to him.
He sighs. "Where do I begin..." He pulls out a device, the shape of a black, tall, thin trapezoid. It's the thing I've seen and heard in his pocket. Now it's beeping steadily instead of the rapid beeps I've heard most of the time. "This is how I knew about Bill. Since I first talked to you, I've kept an eye you with it. It senses Bill's activity in your mind, and I could tell you both thought about him a lot," My face flushes red, humiliated. "And he was actually in your mind a lot. How did he do that?"
"Do what?"
"How did he enter your mind without fully possessing you?" Ford asks.
"Oh... well, he told me that I could see into the Mindscape, and I can. I hear random voices from random people... at least I did before Bill helped suppress them. He told me that... I think it was you he was talking about, and Dipper had minds large enough to do that as well, but you both spent all your time stocking up on knowledge, conspiracies, and mysteries. I don't, so I'm able to do it. But seeing into the Mindscape is only one of the things that a large, open mind can do... it can hold two personas-"
"Personae."
"Right, that, whatever. Two 'personae' at once, and that includes Bill being able to share my mind with me."
"Hm..."
"I-I know now trusting him was incredibly dumb and naive. He was just messing with me," I sigh, standing up. "Really messing with me," I walk over to the fridge, pulling out a mostly full carton of ice cream and a spoon before sitting back down. "But knowing that still isn't going to undo it."