Ancient History/Future Hearts

Lost

he abruptly pulled away. "woo what-"

i imediately retracted as well. my face turned red. i was confused.

he was shaking his head "Nicky, you must have got me wrong. i have a girlfriend" he said remarking the last word. "i don't like you like that, you're a good friend but nothing more"

his words transfixed me. i got up because i didn't want to cry in front of him. he got up as well "Nicky... can we talk about this?" i turned around and started running. where i was going i didn't know, but i just wanted to get as far from him as possible. i heard him call my name but didn't turn around.

i started sobbing uncontrollably which caused my pace to go unsteady. i kept running. without even realizing i found myself running across small streets, passing near houses with lights on, near gardens. no sign of people in the streets though. i stopped after a while, only because i was completely out of breath.

i had no more tears to cry as well. i just sat down on the kerb and looked in the distance. i wasn't even able to think anymore. i was just numb. i stayed like that for quite some time. at a certain point i started wondering what time it was. i wondered whether the boys had already left. maybe they hadn't even realized i was gone. they probably didn't even care. maybe it was better like that. i would find somewhere to spend the night and then take a flight home the next moning.

i took a look around. i was alone in a residential area. all i knew was that i still was in Denver. but in Denver where exactly? i started panicking. i didn't know what to do. i didn't want to be alone anymore. i realized i had my phone with me though. i pulled it out of my pocket. i had almost 20 missed calls. i didn't even bother checking who it was. i just dialled a number.

"Nicky! Oh my God are you okay? where are you?"

i started sobbing again, hearing his voice. "Maxx..."

"Nicky where are you? i'll come and pick you up. Nicky tell me where you are"

"Maxx i... i don't know...Maxx please come here" i managed to say through the sobs.

i could perceived he was really, really worried. his voice was shaking a bit "go and look for the street name, i'm here. i won't leave you. c'mon baby. please"

i nodded -even though he obviously couldn't see - and got up. my pace was still a bit unstable. i was feeling like i was completely drunk. Maxx was still on the line and kept repeating it was going to be okay. i finally managed to find the street name and told him, my voice still broken from the sobs.

"okay. stay there and don't move, i'm coming" he said and hung up.

"please don't leave me" i said. but he was already gone. i sat down again and got my knees up, so that my chin rested on them. i just didn't know what had happened. i was not upset because of Alex's refusal. i mean yes i was but that wasn't the main thing. i was just feeling ashamed. ashamed of having tried. ashamed of having thought it was okay to try and kiss him. i didn't love him. but he was my crush. my celebrity crush. maybe it would have been better if it had stayed like that.

after a while i heard some people approach. i tried to see them in the dark. from what i could get it was a group of 4/5 boys. "Maxx..." i whispered. the fact that he wasn't alone made me a bit upset but i gathered all of my courage and got up.

i could hear them now. they were laughing and joking. something was wrong. they were coming closer and started looking at me. i didn't like it one bit. i felt overexposed and even though i couldn't see their faces, i could perceive their eyes scanning me from head to toe. i instantly turned around and started walking fast, making the distance with them more and more bigger. it wasn't Maxx. i could hear their catcalling. i started running. they certainly didn't want to be my friends.

i turned some corners, throwing looks behind my back from time to time. when i thought i had finally got rid of them i sat down again and picked up my phone. crap. the battery was dead. i just shook my head. there was nothing to do at that point, just praying for Maxx to find me.

then it hit me. i was wearing Cody's hoodie. maybe in his pockets i could find something useful. i started searching the right one. i found some chewingums and candies. some old cinema tickets. nothing in there. i turned my attention to the left pocket. please let me find something useful. please.

before i could check it out, i heard footsteps. someone was running. towards me. i instantly got up and stared in panic at that side of the street. should i run or hide, i thought. i knew i couldn't run forever, my legs were feeling weak and useless. i quickly looked around. a tree. that'd do. i hid my body behind the cork and waited. they would obviously have been able to see me.

someone spoke, his voice shaking and short of breath. "Nicky? is that you?" it was Maxx. he'd found me.

before he could move any further i jumped out of my hiding spot and threw myself into his arms. i started sobbing again. tears i thought i didn't have. he hugged me tight.

"i'm here now. i'm taking you home"

half an hour later we were at the parking lot. Maxx had taken a car from one of the security guys in the venue they had played in and had started looking for me. i could still see both of the busses there. a mix of emotions invaded me. guilt. shame. embarassement. i squeezed Maxx's hand. "hey. hold on a second. look at me" he said, gently taking my head with his hands.

"you don't need to explain anything to anyone. i'm taking you straight to your bunk. and tomorrow, if you want we can talk about what has happened. okay?"

i knew he knew. Alex must have told me. he must have told everybody. i simply nodded and he led me towards our bus. everybody was outside, waiting. i felt all eyes on me. i didn't look up though. at a certain point i did raise my eyes, after Brie had gently touched my hand while i was passing next to her. she had a sympathetic smile on her lips. i kept walking and i caught Cody's gaze. i had thought he'd have had a sort of i-told-you kind of look. his eyes were full of sadness instead. i desperately wanted to hug him. tell him he was right. begging him to forgive me. but this wasn't the right time nor the right place. plus he probably hated me now. i kept walking.

Steve grabbed my wrist "where the hell have you been? you think this is a joke? we were dead worried. do that again one more time and you'll see..."

Maxx cut him off with a dead look. Steve shut up and i got on the bus. Maxx gave me a kiss on the cheek and i got inside my bunk. i didn't fall asleep straightaway. i could hear the boys talk but couldn't quite figure out what they were saying. they were talking about me probably. i heard the bus driver pull out and the vehicle start moving. i was rocked to sleep by the gentle bounces.

there you go, new part as promised. i really don't have much to say about this one. hope you guys have a super awesome day! i will see you very soon :)