Ancient History/Future Hearts

Again?!

Brie had to shake me a bit before i realized i was still on planet Earth.

she didn't say anything about the show but she had the biggest grin on her face and i knew exactly what she was thinking about. i hoped she didn't want me to comment on that topic. i wouldn't have known what to tell her. i didn't know myself what had just happened.

she simply asked "shall we go backstage?"

i tried to play it cool, not sure if i had blushed a bit or if my eyes were heart-shaped or whatever. i shrugged. she took it as a yes - well it was a yes in fact- grabbed my wrist and dragged me backstage.

they were all there, cups in hands, chilling. Jack and Rian were there as well but no sign of Alex, thank God.

as soon as they saw me most of them stopped talking and just stared, some of them smiling, some of them probably just embarassed. But when he spotted me, he ran towards me and gave me the warmest hug. i hugged him back as tight as i could.

"hey you" he whispered.

"hi Maxx" i said back, as softly as possible, as if i didn't want to be heard by anybody but him. it was as if i was trying to make him mine again. my brain though. that stupid little shit started to overthink again and it told me this was not right. i had betrayed my best friend, remember? i was determined to make it up to him though so i went, "hey can we talk?"

"later" he said, letting go of me.

i studied his expression trying to understand if he was still mad but his face molded into a huge smile. i felt a bit relieved and started to turn my attention to the other people around me. Dan was smiling too, looking at me and talking to Austin at the same time. Zach was nowhere to be found. Jack had started pretty much shouting again and laughing out loud with Rian. and there he was. Cody. he was drinking from his cup and listening to the apparently incredible story Jack was telling. he seemed focused on the guy and his face was hiding a grin.

Maxx went to him and put an arm around his neck in a sort of bro  hug. Cody turned his head to him and smiled. then his gaze met mine. i just then realized i had been staring at him for a bit too long. my eyes dropped to the floor. i would probably need to talk to him too. i had to talk to way too many people.

i was now focusing on Brie who was handing me a cup with some - i presumed it was beer - inside. i took a sip and almost spit it out.

"ew dude what is that?" i moaned.

"beer" she grinned.

either that was awful because of the plastic cup, which i doubted, or it was the crappiest beer on the planet. it was probably the cheapest they could find, i thought to myself, and placed the cup onto the small table nearby.

i was now standing there a bit awkwardly, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. i just didn't know what to say or do, or which conversation to join. i sighed and turned my interest to the stage. people were franctically moving curtains and mic stands and drums and literally everything, in order to set the stage for the upcoming show. i wondered what it would have been like to watch ATL perform that night, after all that had happened. i cringed and tried to think about something else.

i was gently touched on the elbow and i imediately turned around.

"hello Nicky" Cody said. his expression was a sort of an awkward smile.

i was looking at the floor now and i felt incredibly shy all of a sudden. "hi"

"i was thinking... that maybe we can talk? like now? outside?" he said gesturing towards the door.

i didn't feel like talking to him just yet. i hadn't even had enough time to sort my thoughts out. my brain instructed me on how to tell him i'd have preferred to do that another moment. gently this time.

i opened my mouth and at the same time i instinctively nodded.

"thank you" he smiled and he took my hand, leading me outside.

i didn't know what had happened. i honestly didn't know. had i become unable to say no to him?

he walked until we were a bit far from the back door, then turned to face me.

"so" he started. he just stared at me in the eyes for a long time without saying a word. i didn't drop the gaze this time.

he finally spoke "did you have fun today with Brie?"

really? that's all you have to say? i was about to start shouting at his face, exasperation invading every ounce of my body.

"yeah" i said instead. i didn't have control on my body anymore.

"Nicky i... actually wanted to talk to you about something quite important"

i nodded. he took a deep breath before continuing.

"Nicky i like you. i've been liking you for ages now. but we've always be friends and i didn't want to ruin anything. but when we kissed... i just can't hold it back anymore now. i'm sorry i just needed to tell you. you deserve to know" he said and looked me in the eyes.

i felt a warm wave inside me, as if my limbs were on fire. i don't know if i was expecting that or not, but it was still a shock for me. my brain was unable to process what he'd just told me.

he sighed and - probably because i wasn't answering- he shook his head a bit and started to slowly walk away, back towards the venue.

i finally woke up from my trance and shouted "wait!"

he imediately turned around, hope sparkling in his beautiful eyes. "wait." i whispered, looking directly into his eyes, into his soul.

"Cody i don't know what's happening. i'm scared" i was being honest.

he cracked a little smile "it's okay. i'm here" he said getting closer to me.

without knowing i was kissing him again.

Hello hello sorry i've not been uploading every day like i used to. i've just been pretty busy but i hope i'll manage to keep posting new chapters in the next days. i love you guys, thanks for reading and i hope you have an awesome day <3