Maybe I'm not Worthless (A Jimin and BTS fic)

The Truth Comes Out pt 2

Jimin pov ~

"Continue...." JB said. I took a deep breath trying to make sure my words came out right. "Jb, I know you're sorry about what you did to me. I forgive you... but I will not forget it. Everybody expects me to just forget about it. A sorry is all they think it takes but its much more than that. What you... what you all did to me, can't be forgotten. I'm not mad at all and nobody understands that, i'm just ... in constant pain. But i'm not here to talk about me, ill talk about me another time. This is about you. I'm sorry about how your father treated you, nobody deserves to go through that. But, this doesn't justify any of your actions. everybody has their reasons for why they did what they did to me. I bet if I asked everybody they all would say they did it because they were going through something too. That's not the point here. JB you've been bullying me since 6th grade. You took it too far , that's true. But JB how does killing yourself make me feel any better? If I would've woke up to you gone I would've been devastated," I stopped because I wanted  to hear what JB had to say.

JB looked very deep in thought. "I.... was just so overwhelmed with guilt. I didn't know what to do, I thought my life was over. The members would put me in a coma or I'd go to jail for hurting you. I just felt... like there was no way out. You wouldn't understand Jimin," he said shaking his head. 

I started laughing, I didn't understand? "JB... I understand more than anybody," I said as he looked up confused. " I tried jumping off a bridge and you say I don't understand? JB i've been exactly where you are. I always felt like there way no way out. Like nobody understands. JB we're not so different. Listen, JB there is always a way out. It took me a long time to realize that and sometimes I still forget. But i don't like seeing you like this. I'm not pitying you just like I wouldn't want someone to pity me but JB you will be okay," I said looking up to meet his eyes.

"Jimin.... can I ask you a question?" he asked processing everything I just said. "Sure?" I said wondering what he was so curious about. "I know I have problems with my father, what happened to your father? I never see him around," he said curiously. I was hoping he wouldn't bring that up. Normally I wouldn't say anything but, I had to show JB he wasn't alone. I closed my eyes bringing back those memories. " My dad...... passed away," I said quietly. He gasped , "Thats horrible," he responded.

" My dad was my best friend. Him and my mom loved eachother. My mom wasn't always busy all the time like she is now. My dad would take me wherever I wanted to go and buy me whatever I want. He accepted me even when I told him I liked boys more than girls. He knew how to make people smile. I was little when he passed away. Maybe 12? When I was 10 my dad became really sick. He was hospitalized and we always went to see him. The doctors said he didn't have long. He had developed a disease that infects his brain. The next year he fell into a coma. Our family was struggling and at that time the members were sort of avoiding me. They didn't bully me until highschool but they kind of slipped away from me a year or so before that. It was hard on the whole family. My mom begged the doctors not to pull the plug on him but we couldn't afford to keep him on life support. They said he would be stuck in a coma if we left it and it would be best for him if we just let him pass. I had nobody to talk to, when he passed away my mom was out partying all the time. She started bringing home different men who would just leave the next night. I was alone in my room and all I had was school where block b constantly taunted me. To this day I don't think the members know about my father. It wasn't something I liked to talk about. After that me and my mom's relationship became strained. Eventually she took things seriously  and got a business job. I was happy for a little while, I thought I had my mom back. I thought that even though everyone was bullying me at school maybe home wouldn't be so bad anymore. But, she still was never home anymore. I know she cared and she was always worried when I came home with bruises but she was always too busy to see how broken I really was. I tried to get through to her, tell her how I was feeling about everything but she always avoided it. Eventually I gave up. She doesn't know anything about me even if you asked her. After my dad died it was like, my world crumbled to pieces," I said staring down at the hardwood table.

"Jimin... I never knew you had to go through that. I understand , my mom left to go do drugs and party. Unfortunately my mom still is the same. I havn't seen her since she walked out our door but I still try to stay up to date with what she's doing. I guess we both have family issues huh?" he asked shaking his head.

"JB, everyone has secrets. Sometimes it just takes the right person to share them with. I wasn't here to save you, Jin was. I'm here to help but, Jin is here to listen. Sometimes we need one thing more than the other. I'll be here if you want me JB, depression isn't some joke. It takes time to be okay again. I'm still far from okay that's why i'm not the best person to talk to. Jin is here, he will listen. He's been through a lot , he will help you more than I can," I said scratching my head. "Why would he help me more than you?" he asked. "Because he's took his pain and has put it away so that he could be happy. I still need help I admit that. I need to figure out what to do to make me happy for once. Listen to Jin, he'll put you back together in no time," I smiled standing up.

"Where are you going?" JB asked. "To figure things out, take a break. Get my priorities straight. I'll be back I just need a few days to myself. Thank you JB," I said heading to the door. "For what?" JB asked. "For showing me i'm not alone," I said walking outside. I turned to Jin who had a look of worry on his face. "Take care of him Jin, he needs as much help as I do," I said smiling as he nodded and walked back inside.

I stood on the steps for a moment. All of my memories running through my head. Some good , some terrible. How could I try to make someone else happy when i'm not happy myself. I wanted to help people but I had to help myself first. I will do whatever it takes, in the end I will be happy. And I will make everyone around me happy too because that's who I am. Well, who I used to  be. Who I will be.

A/N Hey guyssssss here's a new update for ya lovelies. I was inspired by this really cute pic of jimin with glasses that showed up. It feels good to be back. I ditched hanging with my friends to write this so you better be happy *insert laugh emoji cause im on my laptop writing this instead of my phone lol. Dude whenever I write on a laptop I get into it and make the stupidest faces it's weird haha. I've spent the last hour writing this I hope you like it. Comment and favorite baes. Oh also I AM SO HAPPY CAUSE I GOT KCON LA TICKETS dude that was so stressful cause I was balling my eyes out cause the official site to buy tickets sold out of tickets before anybody got any. I had to buy tickets from a third party for 10x the price I shouldve paid. I spent $1000 on two p5 tickets aka sucky seats so now I have to bring binoculars or something. It should've only cost $100 but its okay cause a lot of people cant go so im lucky to even be there. If anyone has been there before can you tell me if p5 tickets are really that sucky cause it stresses me out haha. Anyways my question for this chapter isss , which character development is your favorite and tell me why? You can't do jimin cause thats too easy so ill do jimin as an example. "Jimin's character development is the best because hes gone from a shy bullied boy to sticking up for himself and trying to see the goodness in everyone. Even those who hurt him." Please answer it cause I love to read your answers. Sorry this authors note is so long I havn't heard from ya'll in forever haha.