Maybe I'm not Worthless (A Jimin and BTS fic)

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Zico pov ~

It's been sort of awkward since the members learned about how many panic attacks I have. Kyung knew that I had a lot of anxiety but nobody was ever around when I went into an actual panic attack. They'd walk in and things would be broken but I always told them it was because I was clumsy. I've had to go to the local police station before for vandalism. I told the members I did it on purpose so they wouldn't question me and still think of me as an awesome leader but really when I would go out for some air and something was wrong  id freak out and get angry and my hand would end up going through somebody's car window.

My breathing gets erratic , my heart races, I start sweating, I end up shaking and trembling, it's horrible. I lock myself in my room when it happens. Right now I was beginning to experience those feeling but kyung was in the room and normally when one of the members were around I try to control it as best I can. I was getting extremely irritable because nobody was doing anything right.

All of kyung's lyrics were horrible at the moment since it was so sudden. P.O.'s dancing was just as bad as always because Taeil and Jaehyo werent the main dancers so they couldn't help P.O as much as I wanted. Ukwon and b-bomb were trying to work out a choreo but with no music it wasn't coming along great. We had to get this done so we could practice. We had one more week and it was getting to me really bad.

Kyung noticed something was wrong because I was tapping the tips of my fingers on the table and trying to slow down my breathing. He took a seat next to me in the studio and watched me. "What do you want kyung? I'm not in the mood right now," I said through gritted teeth as I wondered how we would make it by the deadline. "I'm just making sure you're okay. I knew you had anxiety but I didn't know it was that bad until Jimin told everyone. How did he know before us by the way?" Kyung asked.

I sighed, glad I had something to take my mind off everything. "Jimin witnessed me having a panic attack once behind school. I told him if he told anybody anything about my panic attacks I would beat him into the ground. He never told anybody so I completely forgot about it," I said as my breathing slowed down and I had finally calmed down. "It's funny how he knows everything about everyone huh?" Kyung asked happy that I was finally acting like my normal self again. "I guess when you're all alone you pay attention more," I said looking at him. "At least now nobody is alone," kyung said smiling as he started playing around with sounds more.

We worked in the studio for like 4 hours until we finally had at least the music. We burned a copy of the cd as we went to give it to b-bomb and ukwon. As I walked in I smiled at how happy they looked. They were listening to the radio and dancing together and they looked like they were just enjoying each other's company.

"I ship them," Kyung said as we stood in the door way. I looked at him ,"Ship? What does that mean? You want to put them in a box and ship them away?" I asked confused. "No Zico. I swear you're a grandpa sometimes. Shipping means you like them as a couple. I think b bomb and ukwon would be cute together," he said. "What do you mean by together?" I asked curious. "As in , if they kissed right now I would be completely for it," he said shaking his head astonished I didn't get it. "I get it now," I muttered. "They are cute together," I said agreeing with him. 'But I think we'd be cuter,' I thought to myself smiling. "I ship jikook too," he said laughing. "Jikook?" I asked. "Jimin and Jungkook. It's a ship name. It's where you get two people you'd like together and combine their name. For example b-bomb and ukwon's ship name is u-bomb, came up with it myself do you like it?" He asked excited.

I rolled my eyes and nodded before I walked in and gave b-bomb the cd with the music so they could start with an actual choreo. They thanked us and we went back to the studio. Now we had to come up with some lyrics, and quick.