Maybe I'm not Worthless (A Jimin and BTS fic)

Walls

Jimin pov ~

I walked home both crying and fuming. Why were they such a**holes?! Maybe I shouldn't of left JB alone, what if Namjoon wasn't even listening? No. If I go back something bad is going to happen. Jin will save the day. Like always. Like he shouldn't. When I don't save the day , Jin does. It's how things work around here. I'm tired of it. Why save people when I'm the one that needs saving. I continuously wiped my eyes but tears kept falling. I wish life wasn't so difficult. I'm breaking inside. I have a headache from all this crying and I just want to scream.

I walked into my house to stare at the decorations. I closed the door behind me. A flame inside me ignited and I was angry. A birthday party? They think a birthday party will fix everything? I cussed out loud and gabbed a knife which I took to every single balloon in that place. I ripped the banner apart and cut the table cloth in half. I threw everything away into a trash bag and tossed it on the front porch. I looked at the cake. It was my favorite color. Light blue. It said happy birthday chimchim but that just made me angrier. But, I did love cake. I left the cake and threw the wrapped present on the floor as I went upstairs.

I locked my door and went into my bathroom where I locked the door again. I started the cold water and filled up the bathtub. I took my jacket off and got in the tub. I didn't feel like getting nude I just wanted a calming bath so I got in with my jeans and tank top still on. I layed my head back thinking back to today. To everyday. To the last year. To the last 12 years. The stress was eating me alive.

I reached over to the drawer next to the bathtub. I pulled out a razor and I broke it off until I just had the razor blade. I stared at it for a second, then I stared at my wrist. The cuts were starting to fade. I heard somebody come up stairs. I sighed, I didn't lock the front door. They were knocking on my bedroom door. After a few minutes I smiled, it stopped. Then I heard the door get kicked open. Every D*mn time. "Jimin are you here?" He asked. I said nothing. It was Suga. He knocked on the bathroom door. "Jimin I know you're in here," he said. I rolled my eyes," Will you leave me alone? Everybody hates me I just want to be alone right now," I said. "Okay Jimin. I'll leave you alone. I just wanted to say, it's not your fault. Nobody hates you. I just don't want you to do something you'll regret that's all. Remember that?" He said. "Yeah I got it," I said.

"Here's your birthday present if you want to open it. It might help you. Okay I'm leaving. Just remember Jimin, you are worth it," and with that he walked out the door. I stared at the door expecting him to kick it in too but he never did. My eyes darted back to the razor blade. Maybe it would take the stress away. I grabbed it and put it near my wrist. My mind came back to JB and Jin and Suga and all of them. I sighed and put the blade back in the cabinet.

I got out of the tub for a second, water dripping on to the floor. I was shaking, the water was freezing. But you don't realize that when you're stressed. I slowly opened the door looking around for Suga, or anybody. I looked down at the floor and there was my birthday present. I grabbed it and closed the bathroom door once more. I got back in the tub and set it down on the table beside me. I sunk lower and lower until my head was almost under. The coolness against my skin was calming for once. My feet were sore from running so far with no shoes or socks on. They were bruised because I kept stepping on rocks. Normally I'd just watch my steps but running to catch JB I didn't have time to look at the ground.

That's why I didn't get there in time. Once again, it's my fault JB got hurt. I lied. I told him he would be okay but he wasn't. It took everything inside me to not grab that razor blade again but I had to stay clean. Not for them but for me. I put my head underwater for a few seconds feeling the coolness engulf me. I brought my head back up to look back at the present. I grabbed it and took the bow off. I opened the card and read it out loud.

"For all those times you feel like you aren't important or aren't worth it. You're wrong. When you get sad we hope you look at this instead of a razor blade.  -Love , Bts Got7 and Blockb"

I smiled. I quickly unwrapped the box to reveal a scrapbook. On the front read "The real BTS" and a picture of all of us when we were little was on the front. I opened the first page to reveal a picture we took the first day we met. I smiled as I saw a angry Zico in the back of the picture. My mom was just so excited that I made friends she insisted I take a picture with them. She told me I was so mature to be friends with 3rd graders.

I turned to the next page which was a picture of me and my friends at my kindergarden graduation. I smiled as I continued turning pages. I was so happy in these. Some were pictures from past birthday parties. Either way I was wearing my nerdy glasses and not having a care in the world. Others were of dance performances we had to do. I smiled as Jhope was in front and I was slightly back to him. I looked a little upset. Wow I miss when J-hope being a foot ahead of me during a performance was my biggest problem. The pictures were of every big day until my 13th birthday party. That's when things started changing.

I sighed as I flipped the next page expecting not to see anything else. That's when it got interesting. There was one last picture. A picture of that day at the park, after dance practice. I actually looked happy considering the circumstances. I looked to the side and noticed a little note.

"Just a reminder that the Jimin we know and love isn't that far away after all. Never forget that Jimin."

If I smiled anymore my face would get stuck like that. They're right. I am here. Somewhere. But I'm here.  I set the book down and got out of tub draining it. I wrapped a towel around my shoulders. I felt like an iceberg. I quickly took my wet clothes off and got into some new ones. Some black jeans and a white t-shirt. I quickly went downstairs running to the door.

I turned looking at the destroyed decorations. I grabbed the scrapbook  and ran outside. The others had just gone inside because when I got out, their front door had just closed. I sighed once more, I guess this job is gonna take two superheroes. Not just Jin. I thought about it making my way to the other end of the street and up the stairs.