Maybe I'm not Worthless (A Jimin and BTS fic)

White

JB pov ~

I was laying back on my bed staring at the ceiling fan as it spun around. I thought back to how hurt Jr looked when I told him I wouldn't come back. It's not that I didn't want to come back because trust me, I did. I wanted to come back more than anything in the whole wide world. But somehow, something stopped me. I tried to say yes but my mind kept telling me not to.

I felt like the drama would start all over again as soon as I got back. It was nice not having to be responsible all the time. Not having to lead 6 troublesome teenagers through life. Sitting here quietly has been nice lately. Getting a few texts from Jimin checking up on me was the only conversation I got and it was great not being bombarded with messages. It did get boring though. All I could think about was JR struggling to come up with some music. We all know that's the only reason he wanted me , not because he actually wanted me back. I turned on my side quietly and closed my eyes. As I drifted to sleep all I could think about was JR.

'I watched from the corner of my eye as JR and the others went to the middle of the stage. His breathing was heavy as he looked out onto the crowd. JR didn't have stage fright but he did hate to embarrass himself. The music started playing but it was terribly made. The beat didn't work well, it would go from soft and slow to loud and fast. The members tried to dance but the choreography would change too fast with the music. Eventually everybody was bumping into eachother.

JR was at the front horrified as the other members kept slipping and falling. They tried to sing but the lyrics made no sense. JR stood stiff. His knees were wobbly and his eyes were heavy. The students watching laughed as they made a fool of themselves. Tears ran from Jrs eyes as everyone was laughing at him. He hated to be laughed at. He ran off stage and right next to me. He stopped for a moment and looked at me ," This is all your fault. You're just as selfish as you always were," he muttered before running off. I called to him but he just drifted farther and father.....'

I woke up and sat up in my bed. Another bad dream. It wasn't a nightmare about me like normal people had but, it was a nightmare to me because JR being unhappy was what I consider the worst nightmare. I looked at the clock , it was only 8 pm. I knew I wouldn't get to sleep until I helped JR. I looked to my phone and grabbed it. I went to Jr's number but before I could click call I thought to myself. Do I really want to join got7 again? I do but not right now. Not while the others are still upset with me. If JR asks me again and he means it without it just being his guilty conscious than I'll join, but not right now.

I sighed and laid the phone down again. I got out the little bit of home studio equipment I had and started playing with some sounds. I did this a lot when I was bored or when I was feeling a lot of pent up anger I couldn't endure. A few hours later and I had an entire cd. While I was creating the music I got a few ideas for lyrics and scribbled them down. I knew bts would be more serious and block b would be more crazy so I wanted something more fun. The idea that I chose to go with was something about a person knowing the other one liked them even though the other would never admit it. I don't know why I came up with this concept. Deep down I knew it was about JR but I would never admit it. Not even in my thoughts. I always had this wolf thought JR liked me but he was always too proud to tell me.

Before I knew it I had almost all the lyrics besides the chorus. I listened to the music and hummed as I thought of how the words would flow with the music. Before I knew it I was just singing A~~ when the beat changed. That's how I came up with got7's song A for this stupid contest. I kissed the cd as I burned it onto the disk and put it in a cd case. I wrote A on it and stuffed the folded up lyrics into the side of the disk case.

I went downstairs and drove my car to got7's dorm. It was 2 in the morning so I decided to climb up the tree until I got to Jr's room. With my bruised body it wasn't the greatest idea but what were you gonna do? I quietly and slowly opened his window and sat the disk on the side table below. JR was sleeping so I quickly closed the window , went down the tree and went home to rest my tired, bruised body. Maybe now I could get some sleep.