One of many stories

Chapter 5

Natasha opened the door and was surprised to see Steve standing right outside with what looked like a big bag of candy. "Steve? What are you doing here?" She asked and he smiled.
"Can't I visit a friend?" He said and she smirked but didn't move away to let him inside. "We could sit out here if you'd like.." Steve began and she quickly moved to let him in. He handed her the bag of candy and walked in with a big smile on his lips.
"You know, I don't eat candy." Natasha said as she closed the door. "Yeah right." Steve chuckled. "What about that secret drawer in the kitchen stuffed with it?" Steve asked pointing towards the little kitchen in her apartment. Natasha's eyes widened as she stared at him.
"How did you know about that?" She asked surprised and he chuckled even more.
"I didn't. Lucky guess." He said honestly and she sighed. He stood still while his eyes wandered around her apartment.
"I have never been in here before you know." He said and she nodded.
"Yes, I am aware of that." She said and he smiled before walking towards her couch.
"It's really nice though." He said before he sat down in her sofa.
"Well, I'm glad you feel like home." She said as she sat down beside him. "God I'm sorry, are you busy with something?" He asked concerned and a bit ashamed that he just invited himself to her apartment even though Natasha did the same a few times a week. "No." She finally said before giving him a slight smile. "I'm lucky you don't eat candy though. Then I'll get this all to myself." Steve said as he grabbed the bag of candy. Natasha raised one eyebrow and grabbed the bag out of his hands.
"Give me that!" She said and Steve chuckled as she dove inside the bag of sweets.

After watching some bad TV shows and stuffing themselves with candy, they sat tiredly close to each other in the couch while zapping between a few channels.
"The TV sure was a great invention but I think they need to invent more channels." Steve said and Natasha laughed.
They ended up quiet for a few minutes and all they could hear was their own breaths and the sound of laughs that came from the TV. Natasha let her head fall back at the couch cushion as she glanced at Steve on her right. His eyes were focuses on the TV and she remembered the feeling that had bubbled inside her stomach a few days ago. The worried stone she had gotten in her stomach. She didn't know what it was about though. Was she worried about Steve? Why?  Steve turned his face and his eyes met hers. He smiled and if she wasn't so good at hiding her feelings, she'd blush. "What is it?" He asked and she shook her head. "Nothing." She said and he gave her his usual smile. "Fine, but you know you can talk to me right?" He said seriously. Natasha's eyes quickly looked down from his eyes to her hand that Steve held tightly. She nodded with a small smile. "Yeah. That's what friends do right?" She said and he nodded.
"That's what friends do." He said in agreement and her eyes met his again. She suddenly had a hard time breathing as his eyes stared into her soul. They must have been sitting like that for at least 60 seconds before Steve opened his mouth. "Nat.." He said quietly. She put her hand on his cheek and he moved closer. She leaned in and their lips slowly met.
The kiss only lasted a few seconds before it ended and their eyes met again. Their faces was still close to each other tough and Steve felt the urge to kiss her again. To touch her cheek and drag his fingers through her soft hair. Natasha felt the same worried feeling bubble up in her stomach like a bomb. One part of her wanted to kiss him again. To be even closer to him and feel his touch all over her body. But another part told her something different. To stay away. She couldn't do this. Not to him. She didn't want to hurt him like she had hurt so many others. He deserved better.
Steve leaned in to kiss her again but she turned her face.
"I'm sorry. I can't." She whispered and he stopped breathing. "I think you should go now." "Nat, I'm so sorry." Steve said and she nodded.
"It's fine, just go." She said, afraid to meet his gaze. He stood up with a feeling of hopelessness in his body. He looked at her for a few more seconds before he walked towards the door.
"I'm really sorry." He said again before he walked out of the door. As he walked towards his own apartment, he felt a big lump in his throat, a heavy weight in his chest and his steps became heavy. He felt tears make his eyes a bit blurry but tried to keep it all inside. But it was extremely difficult since he felt like he had lost everything again. All he had was once again lost to him. He felt like going back to that ice.