One of many stories

Chapter 15

"Lila, it's time for bed." Laura said and Lila shook her head. It was already pretty late. All the kids had gone home and there was balloons everywhere and the kitchen was a big mess. "I'll only sleep if Steve tucks me in." Lila said with her arms crossed over her chest. "Someone's got a new best friend, how does it feel Nat? To always be the third wheel?" Clint asked with a grin and Natasha waved it all away. "Would you mind?" Laura asked Steve and he smiled.
"Of course I'll tuck you in." He said to Lila and she smiled as she took his hand to walk upstairs. Natasha looked after them with a frown. "Is it okay if I'm a little bit jealous?" Natasha asked Laura and Clint who laughed. "Steve." Lila said and he nodded. "Yeah?" He said as he put the cover over her small body. "You like Auntie Nat, right?" She asked.
"Right." He said and she nodded.
"My dad says she's alone sometimes. But she told me she's alright." Lila continued and Steve listened kindly to the little girl. "I think she's lying." Lila continued and Steve shook his head. "I think Natasha is alright." He said, hoping she wouldn't detect his lie.
"Will you take care of her?" She asked suddenly and Steve nodded with a smile. "I promise." Steve said and she looked satisfied with the answer. "Good." She said as she held her Captain America and Black Widow dolls close to her chest. "Goodnight." She said and he smiled.
"Goodnight Lila. Thank you for inviting me." Steve said softly and she smiled. "No problem." She mumbled with her eyes closed.

"How did it go?" Natasha asked as Steve came walking down the stairs.
"She's asleep." He said with a smile and Laura nodded.
"Thank you. And thanks for coming. It meant a lot to Lila." Laura said with a smile. "I'm pretty sure I had more fun. Thanks for having me." Steve said with a honest smile as he got ready to leave. "I need to get going as well.." Natasha said. "Don't forget this." Laura said as she handed her a picture Lila drew to her earlier that day. Natasha smiled.
"I'll put it in my collection." She said as she stood up. "You want me to drive you home?" Clint offered but she shook her head.
"Go to sleep or something. I'll go with Steve." Natasha said and Clint nodded before giving her a hug. "Next time, buy her a doll of me. I'm not going to pretend I'm alright." Clint said and Natasha chuckled and hit him in the arm.

The car ride home was a bit tense. There was something strange and untried in the air. They didn't talk much. Both of them were caught up in their own thoughts, as usual. It wasn't awkward though, they knew each other too well. "Did you want to start a family? Before the.. Ice." Natasha asked suddenly and Steve looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.
He thought about it for a while and she felt her heart beat heavily in her chest. "Yeah I did. But you know, I don't think that's in my future anymore.." He said, taking his eyes off Natasha to glance at the road in front of them. "Why did you ask?" Steve said and she sighed a bit. "Some people have a hard time giving up on the idea of kids." She said and Steve could hint a hurt expression on her face. "Have you?" Steve asked and Natasha's eyes widened a bit as she looked at him. "Do you want kids?" He asked but got no real answer. Instead she shook her head a bit, ignoring the question.

"Thanks for the ride, soldier." Natasha said as Steve dropped her off at her apartment. They stood outside by his car on the sidewalk. He leaned his back against the car as he watched her.
"Are you really going to pretend nothing happened the other night?" He asked.
She took a deep breath. "What happened the other night?" She asked and he took a step forward. "Natasha." He said tiredly as he took her hand. She looked down at their hands with furrowed eyebrows. "You're like the ocean, Natasha. One second, you're flirting with me, kissing me and the next, you pretend like there's nothing between us. One day it's big waves and the next it's calm clear water." He said and she looked up at him confused.
"I'm sorry, what?" She asked with a smirk and he couldn't help but to chuckle a bit before putting on a serious expression again. "I'm tired of playing games, Nat." He said and she let go of his hand.
"I'm not playing a game. I'm trying to make you understand." She said and he looked at her confused. "Understand what?" He asked. She shook her head and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Goodnight, Steve." She said as she began walking towards her apartment. "This is what I'm talking about.." He mumbled. He was just about to sit down in the car as he saw the drawing.
"You forgot this!" Steve shouted after her as he held up the picture Lila had painted. "Keep it. I have a box of them." She said.
Steve sighed a bit as he watched her go inside. He looked down at the drawing and smiled. It showed him and Natasha, holding Lila's hand. And as a bonus, his shield was drawn at the bottom left corner. He folded the drawing and put it in his pocket. He went inside his car with a blurry mind only filled with Natasha.

Natasha's thoughts and feelings were mixed together in a blender. She didn't know what to do. She watched Steve's car drive away as she walked into her apartment. She felt ashamed. Ashamed that she even felt this for him.
She knew that she didn't deserve him. She couldn't give him what he wanted. She couldn't give him a future. He deserved someone who didn't have hands covered by innocent people's blood. He deserved someone good. Like that Sharon girl. And after all, Natasha was used to being on her own. She had taken care of herself her entire life. She wasn't that good at relationships either. Everyone who got to know her loved her for her face and her body. Then after a while, they all realised she wasn't more than a beautiful front and turned their backs on her, leaving her alone again. But as said, she was used to it. She went to bed at night alone, ate alone, watched movies alone.. She hadn't had many friends either. Clint was the only one she could count on. The only one who understood her. But then, Steve stepped into her life. This good man that made her a better person. She knew that the right thing to do was to let him go.
But she couldn't. Her mind and body ached when she thought of him. Of his body, his smile, the way he spoke. She loved the way he was filled with so much good. So much that wasn't her. And the way she was attracted to him.. It was as if she played with fire and whenever she touched him, she burned. But it was a good burn though, like a warm thrill through her entire body. She was embarrassed by the way her stomach tickled when she saw him. Like it was filled with butterflies. She tried to push away the thoughts as they entered her head. She was the Black Widow. She wouldn't let any man cross her mind without her permission. Unfortunately, shutting Steve out was the hardest thing she had ever tried to do.