Always & Forever

Chapter 13

As I walked up to the apartment I pulled out my phone.

1 New Text Message

From: Niall

"Me and the lads went out for lunch. be back soon. Harry's home. Love you."

Xx Niall

I pulled open the door and walked inside. Harry was sitting in the couch, watching TV and eating cereal.

"Hi Harry." I smiled at him.

Harry looked up at me, he seemed startled by my presence.

"Hi Cara." He said. He gave me a small smile, but it wasn't the big, cheeky grin that usually spread across his face.

"So the rest of the boys went out?" I asked.

"Um, yeah." Harry said. He seemed nervous, which was so different from his usually confident air.

"Alright, I'll be in my room if you need me." I said.

I wanted to talk to Harry more, but I didn't know what to say. Ever since he'd found out about me and Niall, things had been different between us. Awkward. I desperately wanted to talk to him, but I didn't want to push him. He was obviously hurt, I figured he just needed some space. We would be back to normal in no time.

I sat in my room, trying to read, but I couldn't focus. I found myself rereading the same paragraph over and over again. I kept thinking about Harry. I missed him. He was my best friend and I felt enormous guilt for having had hurt him. But I knew I needed to give him time. After all, he had to come around eventually.

As I was thinking, I heard a knock on the door.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Its, um, me... Harry. Can I come in?"

"Oh, yeah, of course." I said, surprised. I set down my book and sat up in my bed as Harry entered the room.

Harry stood opposite of me, staring at me with his hands in his pockets. I wondered what he was thinking.

"Sit." I smiled, patting the space next to me on my bed.

Harry sat down, but he still wasn't talking. It felt awkward, which was weird. Usually, even when things were quiet, it didn't feel awkward between Harry and I. We had always been so comfortable with each other, and I missed that. I wanted, more than anything, for things between Harry and I to go back to the way they were.

I finally broke the silence, "Did you have something you wanted to say or...?"

"I, um..." Harry paused, "Actually, never mind." He said, standing up to leave.

"Harry, no!" I said, grabbing his arm, "Please don't." I looked into his eyes, begging him to stay.

Harry stared at me, confused.

"Harry... I miss you. I miss us, how we used to be. You're my best friend, Harry, I... I need you. Please, talk to me."

"I--I don't know what you want me to say..." Harry stuttered.

"There's nothing I want you to say, I just... I just want things to go back to the way they were, I--"

"It can't always be the way you want, Cara!" Harry shouted, cutting me off. Out of nowhere, Harry had become angry. He turned away from me and walked to the other side of the room, yanking his arm out of my grasp.

"What?" I said, shocked.

"It can't always be the way you want!" He shouted again, even angrier than the first time.

I tried to gather my thoughts. I couldn't understand what he meant, or why he was so angry.

"I can't--you're not making any sense!" I said, confused.

Harry ran his fingers through his hair and turned around before speaking.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to see you every single day with--with him?" Harry said.

"Is this--are you talking about Niall?"

"Every time I see you with him, every time he makes you smile, or--or laugh, it kills me Cara! It fucking kills me!"

"Harry, we've talked about this, I thought you said you were okay with it, I--I thought you said you were happy for me--"

"Well I'm not okay with it, Cara!"

"And why not!?"

"Because I'm in love with you! I'm in love with you, and I--do you have any idea how much it fucking hurts? To see you, with him, every single fucking day and know that you will never feel for me what you feel for him, what I feel for you!? Every single time I see you I--it's like my heart is being ripped out of my fucking chest, Cara!" Harry screamed at me.

"Harry, calm down!" I yelled over him.

"Don't telling me to fucking calm down!"

"Why you can't just be happy for me, Harry! If you love me so fucking much, then why aren't you happy for me?!"

"You think I don't want to be happy for you?! I wish, I wish so fucking much, that I could be happy for you, Cara, but I'm not! I want you, Cara, all I want is you! But you will never want me, it will always be him!"

His face was inches away from mine, his intense stare boring into me. Tears were welling up in his eyes.

"Harry..." I started.

"Don't." Harry said.

I didn't say anything. We stood there in silence, again.

After what seemed like forever, Harry sighed and spoke.

"I'm going to a hotel. I'll stay there for the rest of the time we're here." He had stopped screaming, but he was still angry. His tone was cold, detached.

"Harry, no, please."

"I can't be here anymore, Cara. I'm sorry."

Harry turned and left my room. I ran after him, through the hallway and down the stairs.

"Harry, please, stay here. We can work it out, everything will go back to the way it used to be just, please... Stay."

Tears ran down my cheeks. I couldn't lose Harry.

Harry looked up at me. He looked different now. He was sad, and sincere.

"I really wish that were true, Cara."

He turned back around, looking at the door, his hand on the knob.

"Tell Liam to bring me my stuff. I'll text him the address."

And with that, he opened the door and left.

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I am SO sorry that it took me so long to update. I was having major writer's block. So I'm really sorry if this chapter is bad or doesn't make any sense.

I'm really wondering if anyone's reading this...

If you are, I would really appreciate feedback.

This story is probably going to finish soon. And I have an idea for another fanfic that I might write, but I don't know.

I love you all!

xoxo, Kay