watchful eyes (tronnor)

eight; the broken circles of the destined

sry 'bout the lack of updates...oops

connor wakes with a smile, and troye sends him the same in return. troye feels it like fire, because there is connor and there is connor's smile and suddenly troye is helpless. he wilts as connor sits up, and the two do not stop touching. they are best friends and they will not leave when one is falling apart.

troye does not look at connor until he speaks. "why did you hate her?"

"there was something in the way that she looked at ryan," troye says quietly.

he does not say that it is because he wants to be her and it is breaking him. he does not say that it is because he wants to hold connor's hand the way that she did. that it is because connor deserves symphonies and the whole world in the palm of his hand and bethany will not give him that.

"there was something in the way that she looked at you," he says.

he does not tell his friend that it is because there was something in the way that she looked at him, like she could read all of his secrets, like she knew exactly how much troye wanted connor.

"there was something about the way that she touched you."

he shivers as he says this. he does not tell connor that he shivers because he can imagine connor touching him that way that he did her and he wants that, he wants it so much that it hurts. he wants it in a way that he is not supposed to. he does not tell connor this.

"there was something in her eyes," troye tells his friend. "it was just a feeling."

connor does not answer and troye thinks that maybe he is better at reading between the lines than troye thought.

"we should get to class," they say at the same time.

two weeks later, in physics, bethany sits next to connor and connor does not wince away from her touch. troye does not find out that connor has given her a second chance until two days later, when tyler tells him.

that night is the second time that troye looks up at the constellations (so similar to the ones that troye created for connor) and wishes to disappear.

he finds out that connor did not tell him because he thought that it would hurt too much. he thought that troye would be angry that he gave her a second chance. he thought that he would be offended that he seemed to forget every bad thing that troye told him about her. (he is not as good at reading between the lines as troye had hoped.)

troye only nods when connor tells him this. he assures connor that it's okay (they are best friends, after all. this will not, can not, does not, change anything). then he hangs up and tries not to cry.

his mother gives him a chocolate chip cookie that melts sourly on his tongue and hugs him and tries not to fall apart because god knows there is nothing that she can do. it has been too late for troye to keep his heart safe since the moment that a brown haired boy asked for a pencil. it feels, to his mother, that it has always been too late. she can not remember a time without connor, either.