watchful eyes (tronnor)

fourteen; the reunion of the hopeless

kinda wanted to draw out the pain a little longer but there's plenty more of that to come so why not let troye have this

the sun does not dare to appear the next day. it hides behind the dreary gray of the clouds, like the only bright spot of the future hiding behind the way that troye's world seems to have fallen apart. telephone wires streak across the sky like a tangled mess of every secret troye has ever told connor. how many of them have been shared to the school by now? how much of troye is no longer his?

troye does go back to school (though he begs his mother not to make him). connor does too, though he does not ask his mother for anything.

troye shows up late, so they do not speak in homeroom.

instead of connor walking him to lunch, tyler does. "you okay, troye sivan?" troye only shrugs. speaking seems a bit too hard right now. "connor said he wanted to apologize," tyler tried to continue. "he says he isn't actually homophobic or anything, he just had no idea how to react."

"so he kicked me out?" troye's voice is hollow, empty and cracked, like his heart feels.

"he's...i don't know, troye," tyler sighs. there is so much he could say. he does not say any of it. "but i know that he's sorry. he's sorry and he's your best friend."

troye does not respond. he is not even sure that connor is still his best friend.

when the two of them finally make it to the cafeteria, troye almost expects everyone to drop silent at the entry. no one even notices. his world has fallen apart but no one seems to notice. the realization sinks bitterly in his stomach. he means nothing.

connor notices them as soon as they get to their table. "troye," he whispers, standing up. "troye - "

troye does not know what to do with himself, with his hands, with his eyes. there is no thought involved (there never is when it comes to connor) when he says, "do you hate me? just please, clear that up. do you hate me or not?"

connor's face shatters troye's heart over and over again every day, it seems. his lips and his eyes are shocked and the stunned hurt of his words dig deeply under troye's skin. "troye - i never - i could - no! absolutely not! troye i could never hate you, i just needed a minute - i had no idea how to react and - i am so sorry, i just - troye, you are my best friend. you always, always, will be."

troye stared. "i am? even though i'm - "

"yeah. you are," connor said in a breath of color. and just like that, the symphony, the masterpiece, and the tragedy of troye and connor fell back into place.