Chapped {h.g}

{14}

February 13th @ 10:42 am

I woke up, frowning. I've been doing that a lot lately.

I picked up my iPod from my bedside table and glanced at my notifications. It was difficult to see with the sun streaming through my window.

'Look at your Instagram! Now!' McKenna had texted me.

I hurriedly unlocked my iPod and checked my Instagram. Going on my page, I see a body shot of a girl in a bra and underwear with the caption: notice me Hayesss. May I add, this girl isn't  even me. This is not my body!

Did I get hacked? Who would do this? I hurriedly delete the picture, but not without looking at the comments.

'Ew'
'Disgusting'
'Get it through your mind, HE WILL NEVER LIKE YOU!'

There were much worse things that I'd rather not go through. I delete the picture as tears cascade down my cheeks.

Who would post something like that? Confusion ran through me. I tried to calm myself down. I'll let it slide. It'll be alright.

Oh my gosh, what if Hayes had already seen it? He had to have seen it. I curl up in a ball on my bed and let more tears escape.

I text McKenna. 'That wasn't me, I promise! I must've been hacked!! 😫'

Minutes later, I get a text back. 'I didn't think it was, but who would have done such a thing? Hayes probably seen it. Omg. I totes feel bad for you! ❤️'

It's okay, right? It's not like I have a lot of followers anyway. Maybe about 97 or so.

I realized it was nothing to worry about. Though the picture wasn't even me, the comments kind of hurt. Especially the one about how Hayes will never like me.

I've never been or felt unconfident about my appearance, just because there's already too many girls who worry about that. I don't think we need to add another insecure girl in this world. I'm not saying I'm completely content with my appearance, because I'm not. I'm just saying you should be able to wear what you want, eat what you want, and be what you want. That's the problem, though. You have to be a certain way for society to like you. You can't have too many freckles. You can't have crooked teeth. You can't even have your own style. You have to be like everyone else. And if you're not, guess what happens? You get pushed aside, as if you're not even there. As if you're invisible.

I'm someone who gets pushed aside. I'm like the vegetables that kids secretly feed to their dog, because their not good enough. The vegetables aren't good enough to be eaten. It's the steak that gets all the attention, never allowing the vegetables to have a turn- wait . . . am I seriously comparing my life to vegetables? I need to stop.

Anyway, I just wish things were different in the world, but, I guess everyone does, right?

I know I'm only young, but it hurts knowing there's a large chance I may grow up alone. I may never get my first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first of anything. There's slim chances I'll actually go to homecomings or proms. I just hope life turns out differently than that, because if that happens, well, I wasted my life.

The boy entered my mind as I thought of these things. He knows I'd never be good enough for him. I know I'd never  be good enough for him. Then why do I still care? Why do I still worry about what he thinks of me?

I need to come to the realization that he's not important. He uses girls and acts as if he's done nothing wrong. These girls literally fight for his attention. When they need to realize that they're never going to get him. Not because they're not good enough, no. It's because he loves no one but himself.