V (A BTS Fanfiction)

epilogue Pt. 1

Author's Note: 

So...I don't like ending this story with a sad ending so here you go my beautiful readers!!!! Hold up...what do you guys think of Taehyung in red hair??

[BoNa]

Unconsciously as if it was there but never brought up, I thought of him again for the first time in three years. His smile that could create a tsunami of butterflies in one's stomach, faintly came back to me. The way he looked into my broken soul and the smallest details that I never wish to forget has now become blurry images. I tried to grasp it and every time it seems possible, everything would fall apart and reality comes rushing back to me.

I heave out a sigh of exhaustion. Exhausted from trying to remember what use to be, what could have been, and what seems to be all in one's imagination. I place my pen down beside my notebook and quickly scan the library. How have it come to this? I was so focus on not studying and trying to reminisce in my better memories that I have not come to realize how lifeless the library has become. No living body other than mine and the librarian was left. No matter how lonely it was, I had about two hours before the library closes down. So lonely or not, I better use my time wisely.

Ignoring the growling that gnawed my inside, I got back to studying and taking notes. Everything was fine. Well up until I got a call from Jungkook. That boy didn't say much other then the fact that Jimin and his first date went well. To be more precise, better than what he had expected. And I of course rubbed it into his face that all he had to do was give the cutie pie a chance.

"So...did you guys kiss yet?" I teased quietly through the phone, forgetting all about the big test tomorrow.

"BoNa. You. Need. To. Stop." Jungkook spoke slow and bluntly before laughing it off and saying good night. But we both knew well enough that there will be no sleeping, just some casual conversation and comfortable cuddling between the two lovebirds.

I hung up, happy that Jungkook was able to let go. He has simply moved on even if it was hard and that is what I need to do. Face the pain and let go, even if it may kill me someday. Even if it means forgetting him and guilt eating me alive. I guess it is time to let my moments with him go. Let it fly from its cage of despair and into the vast openess.

My eyes laid on the untouched pen, hands interlocked at my lap. Lips formed a straight line as my breathing came out evenly and softly. I continue to stare at it and let my mind wonder for the first time, even after several refusal, if V was just made up this whole time. A little imagination just to fill up the void I have felt for years.

My mind continues to wander into the jungle of fears and thoughts that are unwanted and avoided. The path in that forest has somehow turned into the ocean. Into an ocean where I continuously fall in, water filling up my lungs. I couldn't breathe as the thoughts came to me. The fear squeezing its way inside my airway.

"Are you okay?" A voice from above the water became hands that pulled me out and gave me oxygen once again.

I blink a few times, breathe in and out slowly. U couldn't respond because I was afraid that I will end up chocking over my own tears.

"You look a bit pale...are you okay?" He asked once more, hands laying uncertainty on my shoulders.

His voice...there was something about the way he spoke. The way he sounded that made my whole body shiver, ready to curl up in a ball and cry. It was soft, but deep. Not too deep but enough to match perfectly.

"Sorry if I am bothering you. It's just I saw you from where I was sitting and..." I drowned his voice out. I didn't want to hear it anymore. I couldn't take the fact that hope was building inside of me, causing a deceitful warmth along with it.

"I guess I will go back." I couldn't see him but the way he said it exposed how he truly felt. He was a bit disappointed as if he finally had an excuse to talk to me but due to my jerkiness, he must walk away. It wasn't just that, there was a hint of a sad smile too.

I blink, finally having enough courage to look up. The only view I got was his back and even then it was all to familiar. Familiar except for the vibrant red hair. He was wearing a loose hoodie shirt with a white long sleeve underneath. To match that was a pair of loose straight leg sweats and sandals.

I want to call him back but before I could, he grabbed his bag from the floor and headed towards the exit. When I finally care enough to notice the plush doll hanging from his bag, it was already too late to make out the detail other than a delusional V written in the doll's shirt.

My heart hammered at my chest. My mouth dry. Was it possible?