Fifteen

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ninth grade
school dance
(its not prom)

Narator

tonight is school dance night.

your mom seems to be more worried that you are.  although shawn is your date and your mother knows him well,  she's afraid that shawn wouldn't show up and leave you with another girl. 

you on the other side is worried of who is Cam going to take to the dance.  shawn is a nice guy,  why wouldn't you love him? 

you should know that looks doesn't matter,  well a bit i guess.  and changing crushes almost every month?  wow girl chill.  you don't want to be call a playgirl.  dont you?

You

shawn isn't here yet but we still have 30 minutes til it starts,  i don't think that shawn would break his promise to bring me to the dance,  i put my trust on him. 

not long later my mom opens the door,  revealing shawn.  he smiles at me and i smile back.  i love his smile it's wonderful.  i dont know why i don't see shawn as my crush,  he's the only boy that is close to me since we were a kid.  people love the idea of me and shawn together but somehow, i don't. 

at the school dance it's normal,  nothing really interesting.  me and shawn joke through out the dance,  sometimes people would stare at us in confuse but we don't have to be ordinary right? 

after the party finished,  shawn bring me to the park for no reason. 

" shawn,  why are we at the park?  are you even allowed to drive? " i ask,  concerned. 

"  first,  i want to tell you something and second  yes i do not have a license BUT it's not a big deal,  its only the park" he says. 

"what do you want to tell me? " i ask

Shawn

i have to tell her that i like her,  love her actually.  Cam isn't going to end up with her,  he's the popular guy that every girl wants to be with.  i don't want to be the one who she runs to when she's sad or hurt,  i want yo be the one who she truly loves as more than a friend. 

" i-i like you" i said

" shawnyboy,  you know i like you too." she says.  my heary fluttering,  hope it's not the friendzoned like

" really? " i ask,  sound excited

"  really,  as a best friend" she says

i frown,  no words,  speechless.  she's really into cam.  what was i doing,  she won't love me.  i will always be that tall awkward guy with bad fashion sense,  wavy hair and braces.i don't reply anything instead i run off the park.  to my car

all i want is to get out from the friendzone. 

"why can't someone love me,  why can't the people that i like,  likes me back.  why am i me? " i mumble leaning against the car steer. 

"  shawn? " i hear y/n voice.  i don't answer.  what should i do to have someone love me back?  should i be the popular one? 

right now I'm hurt,  so hurt.  today's the last day of middle school.  one week before graduation and we're going to be seniors. 

y/n keeps shouting my name,  searching for me but i don't answer. 

" god,  why am i shawn mendes" i mumble once more.  i feel bad leaving y/n here so i pick her up.  now I'm going to pretend again,  pretend thag I'm not hurt, it has always been like that. 

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