Red umbrella ( June IKON )

Explanation

The train was leaving the station. I leaned on my seat tilting my head on the window and closing my eyes.Luckily nobody was around me. I could put down my mask and be myself. It became my habit,acting happines,looking the best when I was feeling the worst.

Today was one of those days when I thought to quit all and just lay in my bed crying my eyes out,crying untill I die.... but instead of doing that I sat in this train going to my hometown, to see my sea... maybe I could find my peace there...

When I step out of the train I took a taxi and went to beach. It was all like I remembered. Everything was the same, just I've changedbecoming more sad,becoming more lonely. How much lonelines one person can handle? -I was asking myself with sarcastic smile."God is giving you just enough burden that you can hold on your shoulders" maybe his calculations were wrong?-Sarcasm again!

I took of my shoes ,walking through the sand while the waves washed my bare feet. It was refreshing and I felt how new strength filled me....strange...

My sea can really wash away sorrow...

Looking up I saw seagull, circling around, holding something in his beak .Flying above my head he dropped and I saw red rose. -What?! - I smiled in disbelieve ,then look up- Thank you seagull you are so kind!!- giggling I ran while the wind was playing with my hair. It was so good to be back home...how did I ever thought that this place was bad and unfriendly?

Then I stopped.-I have to see my old house -with that thought I walked towarsd my street.

When I sold my house I didn't knew who bought it and I didn't cared. But seeing workers there something squeezed my heart. New owner made some changes but they didn't look bad. House became so lovely. In fact all looked like my dream house. Big terrace with swing where you lay down and listen sound of waves in the distance.Lots of flowers and red roses- I smiled seeing them near entrance. Some of the flowers fell off when they were planted.That is where that seagull found rose!

My house now was somebody elses but I was ok with that. Now I have new life and new responsibilities. Turning around, I went back to the beach and sat on one rock.

'Is that baby yours?" -Junes voice echoed.That day on the airport we met bumping accidentally on each other. He saw little Anna in my arms. I opened my mouth to answer when Francesco came- Finally I checked our tickets. God it's such a big mess here! Some boy group is travelling today and girls went crazy....- he stoped talking looking at us. June looked at him then in me.His eye expression changed. His eyes became darker. Then he grab tighter his suitcase and walked without saying a word. I was looking at his back not realising that I was crying- HyeMin what is wrong?-Francesco wrap his arm around my shoulder. I buried my face in his chest-Don't ask me anything...please just don't ask....

After that day my nightmares became wors. I was a fool, thinking that I could stand in front of June and not chrush and burn after in my own hell, because it surely was hell this pain I was feeling. The way his eyes changed and he shut himself in front of me killed all my hopes. I knew what he was thinking seeing Francesco with me. But I left him to think that. It was better if he sees me in a bad way,that is how he will forget me faster and cure his wounded heart. But what about my heart?-I laugh outloud-I have no heart! I have a hole instead.

Quickly I stood up brushing sand from my clothes and went back to train station. Time for crying was over !! This new HyeMin have a job to do!

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Days goes by, passing without me noticing how and when. I tryied to occupy myself with my new designs. Drawing was my new passion and it seemed I had talent for that. Zia and Mona were praising me with encouragement to continue. I was day and night at my office on the back of the store, drawing like crazy. I have losted more wight and I had to change all my clothes. Everything looked big on me but I didn't cared.