Red umbrella ( June IKON )

Neither the begining nor the end...

He was sitting next to my bed leaning his head and holding my hand.He slept with tears in his eyes,shaken,broken... Only the sound of respiratory machine droning. Hospital rooms looks creepy,I never liked them. All white..white walls,white beds,white floors... I hate white!

What happened to me? How I end up here and how come I can see my own body lying in bed?

This is just a bad dream, right?

I want to touch his face, to carress his cheeks racking my fingers through his hair... but I can't. I can't move, I can't talk, I can't scream....panik!! It was spreaded all over my body, sneaking through my veins like a poison.

One word like a whisper came to me "death' so scary,so terrible...so final. But I don't want to die. I don't want to disappear now that I've found my love.. my happiness.

This is not a fear and I want to scream, to call his name...to tell the world that HyeMin isn't dead yet!

It's been over a week since they brought me here proclaiming my state as -comatose. Broken ribs,internal bleeding,burned skin..the list goes on. My life depended on that machine who gave me oxygen to breath.

June was next to me all the time. Poor boy does he ever sleep or eat? He lost so much weight, his hair was messy and those big eye bags below his beautiful eyes. What has happened to you my love? You want to become a ghost like me? My thought floated over him,over this room. I wanted to get up from this bed to sit next to him,lifting his head with both hands and to kiss his soft lips. I still was feeling their taste...but last time I felt them, his kisses were unusual..but wait ,those were no kisses. He was giving me CPR because I was unconscious,lying on the floor in my office. There were fire and a lot of smoke. He was the one who saved me? My black angel came and saved me!! I clearly could hear his voice calling my name so desperately and loud sound of a door cracking and his arms around me. He lifted me up,carrying me from that hell. There were many people outside but he didn't stop. I heard many voices and all seemed like when you watch a movie : You see all and understand all but you can't do anything.

He put me down on some stretcher and breathed for me. Yes, he saved my life again, he holded my hand,he cryed...

And now we are here stucked. Everything we had and everything we could have is depending on that machine. Cruel,painful...sad.

*****************************

YunRea just came carrying new flowers to put in a vase next to my bed. I was lying in my room still attached to that machine. Two weeks have passed like a slow motion in my memory. I heard all,I knew all but wasn't being able to get up .It's like when your body doesn't want to listen your brain. Mutiny that was it! No coma,no sleep, pure mutiny! I was mad ,I was furious but no use. All I could do is to listen and to feel.

Trapped in feelings. They floaded me. Is anyone able to survive this?

But I had to. I had to fight. For myself,for my love my June.

He kept comming whenever he could. Heaving so bussy schedule I was wondering how he got the time? But he would come and sit by the bed telling me how much he misses me,how lonely he is... begging me to wake up...crying repeating my name. How I wished I could hug him ,to warm his cold hands,to warm his cold chest- June my love I miss you so much!

YunRea sat by the bed and started to read my favourite book for the hundredth time- I'm going to read you this book untill you get tired of it and get up to shut me up!- she said once and I laughed inside- My dear friend, my YunRea who loved me like a sister.

The nurse came- Miss YunRea you have a phone call, lady said she is miss HyeMin's aunt. -That must be her Zia!- She get up and left in a hurry. I was happy hearing Zia's name and I missed her so much. She was so warm and caring almost like a mother. I wish I could hug her now and tell her all my worries. She would comfort me I'm sure. While I was thinking about my dear Zia, two nurses came to fix my bed and to give me my meds. One of them said she is so sad- Why? What happened? - Ah you know how much I love iKON?- Yeah so? - My bias June got hurt last night at the concert and I'm so worried about him.- Oh no! What happened? Is it serious? -She sigh- I don't know it was really crowded and not many people could see what actually happened and there is no updates and I think I'll go crazy! I just cant calm down and pray to God that he is ok. You know they brought him here right away ,Dr. Park is treating him. - Ah poor boy, I heard he looked so tired lately, even messing up his lyrics like something was bothering him.