Me and Abigail wrote the BEST breakup song of all breakup songs.
Our song sold more than Taylor swifts entire discography
With all the money I received I finally bought divorce papers
And I finally
Finally
Finally
Finally
Knew what I wanted
And that was breadstick boy
I couldn't hide my love for him any longer
I had to make him mine
But first I had to get him out of the well
Using more of the money I received I bought a crane to lift my love bug breadstick boy out of the well
I couldn't hide the smile on my face when I finally saw him
I wanted to hug him and kiss him so bad and tell him how much I love him
But I had to play it cool
So I offered him some food at my house because I assumed he was starving
But when we got there I remembered what I had to do
I had to get Lindsay to sign the divorce papers
I had to tell her there was some one else in my life that made me happier
When we entered the house I saw Lindsay on the couch
She was so beauti-
No beau keep it together you don't want her anymore!
I led breadstick to the kitchen and made him some cereal
When he was settled I got the papers out of my pocket and went to the living room
When I saw her my hands started shaking
I was so scared
But it had to be done
"L-ll-Lindsay"
"CANT YOU SEE IM TRYIN TO WATCH MY SHOW YOU STUPID LITTLE RAT SHUT UP AND GET IUT OF MY SIGHT"
"I'll get out of your sight forever if you just sign this paper"
Then I dropped the divorce paper on her lap
She looked down
Then she gasped
Then she picked up a knife she used for her sirloin steak she had earlier
then she made fists around the knife really tight
Then she looked at me
I thought she would kill me
But just then her cousin Sarah and calum came in the door
When calum turned to close the door I saw a bandage around his butt
"Hi guys guess what calums butt is oka- OH MH GOD NIOOOOO NOT AGAIN"
Just as they closed the door Lindsay threw the knife
Luckily I dicked and it missed me
Unfortunately it stabbed calums butt again right after he got it fixed from last time
"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE COMUNG INTO MY HOUSE ANS TRYIBG TO TELL ME WERE GETTIBG A DIVORCE HOW DARE YIU WE ARE NEVER GETING A DIVORCE BECAUSE I LIVE YOUR UGLY ASS RAT FAVE ABD YOU LIVE KE NOS GET IN TGAT KITCHEN AND THINK ABOYT WHAT YOU HAVE JYST SAUD TO ME ABD STAY IN YHERE UNTIL I LET YOU OUT!!!!"
I made my way back to the kitchen
I glanced at Sarah
She was holding calums butt and crying
I felt so bad
But as soon as I saw breadstick in the kitchen
I knew we could make it through this together
IM BACKKKKKK
Yeah so I didn't write for like idek how long it's been but I was encouraged to write it again and I know it wasnt good or funny but I feel like we have an actual story now also who do you ship more beau and Lindsay or beau and breadstick I think he's better off with breadstick but that's just me
