White Cloud

15- Just Because

The modeling audition isn't great but it isn't terrible either. Only part of the audition was a bikini part and the other stuff was posing and personality which I'm fine with. I really actually like the posing part because I'm pretty good at it and there's nobody poking at my chest or waist, looking for everything that's wrong with me.

"I really think that you have a shot," My mom tells me with a chirpy smile as we're going back to the hotel. "I think that those people really loved you."

"That's good," I say with a nod, looking at the time. I told Jayda that we could hang out today because it's a weekend so she doesn't have class—she goes to school at the community college—and after this audition, I don't have any plans for the rest of my Sunday. I really want to stay busy though so I don't have time to think about my date with Vincent tomorrow. I hope we're just going to coffee but I'm suspicious when it comes to Vincent. He seems like he likes to do things very out there and dramatic. It's exciting but it's very nerve-wracking and I'd like to keep my mind off of it as much as possible.

"Even if this one doesn't work out, I think this is a good start at building your reputation around Naples and Honey Bay," My mom continues talking eagerly about my promising modeling future. "I'm talking to a few other agents and they're giving me some heads up on other auditions. Things are really looking up for us right now."

"That's really awesome, Mom," I assure her but I know that I don't sound as enthusiastic as she'd like because I can't stop thinking about Vincent. I want to stop thinking about him but I really can't.

"Are you alright, Bea? You don't sound like you're here right now."

"I'm fine," I assure her, feeling kind of bummed that I can't tell her about my date with Vincent because I always love telling my mom about what's going on in my life. I tell her everything. It sucks that if I tell her about this date, Vincent would have to choose between me or his job that he loves. So I just keep my mouth shut. "Just tired, I guess, it seemed like a long audition."

"It was pretty long," She agrees. "Which is good because I think that means that they were really considering you. In the lobby, I saw girls leaving all day so they were weeding you guys out."

We park in the parking garage along the side of the hotel and walk together into the building with my mom continuing to talk my ear off about how optimistic she's feeling about this audition. I think that it went well too, I'm just not as excited about it as she is and I'm more thinking about Vincent than I am about this modelling audition. So that my mom doesn't question me so much though, I try to seem as engaged in the conversation as possible until she tells me that she's going to go plan some house visits so that we can go as a family to find a nearby house so that we're not living in the hotel forever.

I have just enough time to take my dogs outside before Jayda gets to the hotel and I greet her in the lobby.

"I have some news," I tell her, chewing on my bottom lip a little bit anxiously.

"That sounds fun," She smiles back at me as I lead her upstairs to my room so that when I tell her about Vincent, there's no way that anybody else can hear me. There's employees lurking everywhere in this hotel and I know that it's just because they're doing their jobs but I can never be too careful about who can hear me and I know that nobody's going to be putting their ear to my door to listen to my conversations so that's the safest place to tell her about this.

"It's... I don't know, fun isn't the word that I'd use," I say slowly, trying to find a word to describe this situation but I'm not so sure how I'd describe what I'm feeling. "Exciting maybe. I don't know. Okay, but what I'm going to tell you, it can't leave this room."