Me raven aka Zoe

still ignoring me

hey guys well he is still ignoring me and my friends think i should break up with him but i don't know what to do i'm thinking maybe i should break up with him but i still really like him but i'm starting of thinking maybe i should even move but i know i can't i have 2 reasons why i can't move 1 because of my friends and 2 because my mum won't let me i just hate feeling like this i hate feeling like this is my fault i have been thinking a lot of things that i should not be thinking of but i don't know its killing me i feel like i need to change my self all over again like i'm not perfect or that he does not want me to be any more i am just hating this the feeling of wanting to go back to old habits is soo strong i don't want to feel like that i don't want to see a sharp object and think i want to just slice my skin i hate it sooo much i feel like crying all the time and i NEVER cry but i have been crying a lot and i hate it like the feeling of want to hurt myself is so bad but i can't i'm not going to do it i have so many people that are counting on me to be happy and to smile the time but i can't always be happy but i have to be for everyone else i need to be happy everyone else but i can't always be happy i'm so sorry to everyone that is in my life i'm sorry i not always happy i'm sorry i can't always be a perfect friend i'm so sorry the thing is that every time i think i find an amazing guy they always fuck me over it happens every fucking time and i can hardly ever see a couple its so hard i feel like breaking down so when ever i see a happy couple i will be really up set and mad so i'm sorry to everyone of my friends that have a happy nice relationship and i am not saying any of this to make u feel bad for me i'm just saying this to get it off my chest.

yet again i just want to thank everyone that is there for me right now and that r trying to help me smile just know i am really thankful for it i just can't seem to be happy and smile and i'm sorry none of my chapters are all happy and stuff i just can't do it right now but i will try and be all happy well i will talk to u guys next time bye my little demons and i love u all.