Everything's Changed - Zayn Malik

No excuses

My brain was in shambles. I couldn't do anything without thinking about Zayn. We'd gotten off the phone earlier in the day and it was quite awkward. I had to say I was disappointed. I didn't want him to react the way he did; I feel like he was silently judging me. Boy, was I glad I didn't have to tell him in person. That would've been ten times worse, but I was still hurt nonetheless. I thought he would be a little understanding, but I guess I didn't really know him that well. 

Whatever, I thought. At least I had told the truth, if he wanted to be my friend, something like this shouldn't bother him.

Whatever, I repeated in my head.

It'd been hours since we hung up, I'm pretty sure he fell asleep or maybe he just didn't want to text me. I had Cassius to worry about, but my mind was still on Zayn. I made it through the day without letting my mind drive me too crazy; Cassius and I had lunch, walked to the park, ate dinner, and watched some movies on Netflix. He fell asleep and I put him in bed while I roamed around the house, unsure of what to do.

I snacked on some chips and then sat on the couch in the dark; I wasn't tired yet and I felt lonely, to be honest. It was almost one in the morning and I found myself wondering what Zayn was doing. My mind was just torturing itself, so I forced myself into bed and eventually fell asleep.

I woke up at 8 and quickly got Cassius and myself ready and into the car. I had work at Pinkberry at 9 and I still had to drop Cassius off at my Nana's house. I still kept in contact with my Nana because she didn't treat me like the rest of my family. She still genuinely loved me, just like she had since I was born, nothing had changed. When I moved out of my mom's, I stayed with her for a few days, but I didn't want to overstay my welcome. She even lent me some money, and she would watch Cassius twice a week for me. I was grateful to have this small connection to my family.

When I got to work, we did the pre-opening procedures and finished early, so I quietly checked my phone. No notifications. Fuck.

By 5 o'clock, I still had no notifications; I was very disappointed. I sighed and drove to my Nana's to pick up Cassius. She made dinner so we stayed at her place for a while, which was good because it helped me take my mind off Zayn. 

Saturday morning finally came around and I woke up at 10am in order to get things ready for Cassius' birthday party. I was pretty anxious because it was my first time hosting a gathering at my own place.

I'd invited my family and a few friends, but I honestly didn't know who would show up. I was so nervous, but I'd finally picked up the food I'd ordered and put up some decorations. It was supposed to start at 3pm so Cassius and I were dressed and looking our best by 2:30. He was so happy that I couldn't help but smile and be happy too. 

More than anything though, I wanted Zayn to be here. I sighed and peeked at my phone, but it was no use, I was just torturing myself again. 

Eventually my family arrived, just my brothers and my mom; her husband hadn't showed up, thank God. My friend Alyson had showed up, even though I told her I would call her and I never did. She didn't seem the least bit bothered; she was her normal self, I guess she really had gotten used to me not talking to her as much. A few of my coworkers showed up for a bit, too.

Cassius had a blast and being around my family wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. We all talked and ate a ton, I genuinely enjoyed myself. Everyone was gone by about 8, except Alyson; she stuck around and I was glad we would be able catch up.

I put Cassius to bed and joined Alyson who was in the living room watching How I Met Your Mother on Netflix. She lowered the volume and turned to me.

"So what's up?" She asked eagerly.

I sighed and looked at the ground. I sat beside her and told her everything that had happened. She was in disbelief. She'd seen the picture of Zayn and I on Twitter, but she didn't know I had actually spoken to him, let alone gave him my number. She was sympathetic when I mentioned how I had told him about Cassius, but she tried to cheer me up. We laughed and talked about other things, too. We talked for hours and ended up falling asleep.

~~~~~

-Zayn's POV-

The day after I found out about Alexis' son, I honestly forgot to text her. I really was okay with her news, I mean, who was I to judge her? Over the next few days, I was doing stuff with friends and family and I just sort of put off texting her. By Saturday night, I was regretting it; she was either going to be really pissed or really hurt that I hadn't texted her.

I'll call her tomorrow, I thought. No excuses.

I jumped in the shower and began to think about what I would say to her. I tried to think about what I'd say if she was mad, if she was hurt, and if she was (by some miracle) happy. I got ready for bed and felt mentally prepared. Maybe I was making this a bigger deal than it actually was...

In the morning, I woke up and checked my phone in my disheveled state. It was a little after eleven; too early to call, she'd probably be sleeping. I was actually growing nervous to call her, but I really did want to talk to her. 

I really didn't look down on her because she had a child, things like that happen. I guess I was just surprised she hadn't mentioned it; something that's as important as that, you'd think she would mention it. However, now that I did know about Cassius, I wanted to know more. I didn't want to seem nosy, but I was more curious about her than ever.

I decided to call her at 7pm my time so in the meantime I did a few things, ran a few errands. I got home and shut myself in my room. It was before seven and I was nervous again. I thought back to our last conversation and felt more anxious as I fidgeted with my phone.

Then I remembered she said today was Cassius' birthday. She might be busy, I thought, placing my phone on the nightstand. I stared at it for about a minute before taking a deep breath.

No excuses, I reminded myself. I grabbed the phone and called her up.

~~~~~

-Alexis' POV-

Cassius jumped on me, waking me up. I rubbed my eyes and saw Alyson on the opposite side of the couch I was on; I carried Cassius to the kitchen, trying not to wake Alyson. I gave him some Cheerios while I cooked us all eggs and toast. When I was almost done, Alyson walked in with her usual chipper self. 

"Good morning," she smiled. "Happy birthday, Cash!" 

She picked him up out of his seat and spun him around. It really warmed my heart to see him smile, and I was glad to have Alyson here so we wouldn't be so lonely. We ate in silence and I began washing dishes while they watched cartoons.

I heard a phone ringing and assumed it was Alyson's. She rushed in the kitchen carrying Cassius on her hip and holding my phone in her free hand.

"ALEXIS IT'S-- IT'S--"

I moved close and grabbed the phone.

Zayn was calling.