JP (model) living a double life

JP (model) living a double life *chapter 10*

****one more fan and i got 50 yay me...so my daughter deleted the orginal one and i tried to re write it so this is what i got so far..i figured its not fair if i make you wait so here it is and i love you guys okay and please vote and comment and dont hate me okay...theres a reason for everything...i cried after i wrote it and read it so if u cry let me kno and i will apologize personally....hi april and JP and bri and all my other 46 fans..

JP POV:

Oh no, please no. dont say it.

"hes not going to make it, the depression pills you were taking stoped his lung growth and hes on life support. If we keep him on there he will suffer."

"Can...I...can I hold him?"

"yes, but were going to need you decision. Come I'll help you there."

I got up and walked to the n.i.c.u where he was. He wasn't even fighting, he gave up. I couldn't let him suffer, it wouldn't be right. I took a few pictures of him and the nurse took a bunch of us. Then they took him off the life support. i held him hoping he was strong enough to make it. He took one sharp intake of air then went limp. He died, right there in my arms. I watched my child take his last breath. I held onto him for a little bit but the nurse made me let go. I was sent home where I stayed in my room and did nothing but cry. I found a grave site near my school and it had a beautiful scenery. I buried him there 3 days later. Once the funeral was over I went back to my room. I debated on calling Romeo, but then again what could I say? Hey Romeo hate to break it to you I was pregnant, you became a dad but he died sorry. I wanted to go home. I wanted my mom. I sound like a little kid but I don't care after going through what I did all I wanted was my mommy. I picked up my phone and called her.

"mom?"

"yeah, JP is that you?"

"yes."

"why haven't you called me, I tried to call you and you wouldn't even answer. its been almost 7 months, you had me worried sick."

"mommy, im sorry. I want to come home. Please I promise I wont do anything wrong. Ill go to school and come straight home. Please mommy."

I sounded like a baby and I didn't care, I lost my child and I need someone to hold me, someone to be there for me.

"I cant, what you did was wrong and I know your still hurting. Its been almost 7 months if he hasn't even talked to you im sure he let go. I think its best if you do too."

"mom please, I cant..i cant do this. If you had to hold me when I was born and watched me die in your arms how would you feel?"

"June-Pearl, this is not about me. What is this non-sense your talking?"

"please mom, I need you. Don't just leave me here."

"June, knock it off. They said they have you on antidepressants are you even taking them?"

"see that's all you care about, drugging me up. You don't even give a shit that I just had a baby, a little boy. You don't even care that I had to hold my son and watch him die. You don't even care if...if I feel dead inside."

We were both crying now, I could hear her sobbing on the other end.

"baby, why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? You could of called me and said mommy I had a baby."

"I didn't even know until I was in labor. He was 2 and a half months early. The depressants stopped his lung growth and he wasn't even breathing on his own. I could almost fit him inside my palm. He looked just like Romeo."

"baby, please I know its hard but you're a strong girl. Im buying the ticket online right now, get your things and come home. Im here and ill help you through this. Have you told him?"

"no I haven't talked to him since that day in the kitchen. I cant I don't even know what to say."

"its okay, just come home okay, ill be there waiting at the airport. We can talk about it then."

"thanks mommy, I love you."

"I love you too baby."

I hung up and packed my things. I called a cab to the airport and went to the ticket lady to get my ticket. My plane leaves in 45 minutes. In 45 minutes I will be home, home where I wanted to be all along. 45 minutes passed like a blur and I was on the plane already in the air. I used the airlines internet and sent Sam a message. Hes been like a brother to me since I was sent away.

'on my way home, call you later'

I fell asleep for the rest of the ride. Holding my sons picture close to me. My heart felt completely empty now, like I was a walking zombie. I landed and walked out to have my mom rush up and hug me to death. we both were crying as we stood there in the airport. I got my bags and went home. I put my things in my room and then went to the living room with my mom.

"mom, im sorry."

"no baby, don't be this is my fault. If I was a better mom, if I didn't send you away maybe none of this would of happened."

"no mom, don't say that. I shouldn't of been doing what I did. I should have known better."

"its okay, your home now. Come here and lay on my lap and tell me all about him. I want to know about my grandson."

"mom he had Romeos blue eyes and blonde hair. He was so tiny. Wait I have pictures here look."

I pulled the pictures out my purse and showed her. we both cried as we compared every little detail of Romeo J.R. after an hour I fell asleep on my mom lap. I guess crying does that. she woke me up to send me to bed. I got upstairs and remembered I was suppose to call Sam. I dialed his number.

"JP?"

"Yeah?"

"so your home now, what made your mom change her mind?"

"a lot happened."

"like?"

"Ill tell you tomorrow, im going to bed."

"okay so ill be over in the morning okay?"

"okay bye."

I hung up and went right to sleep listening to Blue Octobers 'a quiet mind' on repeat. That was my song to Romeo he just don't know it. What would I say to him, does he have someone new? I woke up early and took a shower.

****im still writing so vote 4 times and u get more i promise ^_^*************