Girl Psycho

Church (Hope)

I brushed my hair in front of the mirror and plaited it. Don't you find plaits always make you look more innocent than you really are? They do to me anyway. I slipped on my plain black knee length dress. Conservative yet pretty. I slipped on my sandals and looked at myself. I never more make-up to church, my grandfather didn't like it and he always said our family needed to be a good example to the rest of the congregation. Not that I understood why wearing make-up set a bad example. A lashing of red lipstick and your daughter is a slut! My phone beeped behind me and I knew exactly who it was going to be. I had been waiting for his message all day.

"Where were u?"

My cat was sitting next to my phone on the bed and I looked at her. "What do you think, should I message him back?" I stuck my hand out and stroked her fur. She wasn't looking that great today. She seemed slower than usual. She purred softly.

"My thoughts exactly." I said ignoring the message and popping my phone into my bag. It was time for me to get the power back... not that Matt really had it. He just thought he did.

"Are you ready to go?" I heard my mom call from the lounge.

"Coming mom." I gave my cat one last stroke and excited.

**

The new church oozed money. It was big and shinny and modern. If there really was a God, would he care what your churched looked like? Would he care that you had the latest restroom fixtures and bright, brand-new red carpets. Would he also care what you wore when you prayed to him? Not that I believed in God. Religion is a crutch. How nice is it to think you go to a happy, pretty place when you die. What a comforting thought. But it's not true. I've looked death in the face, I stare into the eyes of dying people. There is no fucking bright white light, no choir of singing angels. Nothing. Just blackness. Slipping into nothingness and total blackness.

My phone beeps again in my bag, for the second time since I left my house and I know who it is. I slipped my hand into my bag and put it onto silent. I recognized some of the people there, my grandfathers regular congregation and I greeted them all with a smile and a few words. I'm good at smiley small talk, I've had a lot of practice with it, but then that's when I spot someone familiar, and not from here...

I break away from the crowd and walk towards her.

"Detective Dlamini." I called out.

The good detective whipped around as if she had seen a ghost. The look on her face was pure shock, and then fear. What does she have to be frightened about? And then I see it. behind her, at the bottom of the corridor. A closed door with a logo on.

"AA" I try not to smile. I love it when people's secrets are revealed.

"Hi.. hello... Hope, hi." She stuttered and stumbled.

"I didn't know you came to this church?" I said innocently, but with great pleasure, enjoying watching her squirm. She looked around slightly panicked. Clearly she wasn't very comfortable with her alcoholic label, clearly she didn't want me knowing about it...

And then something else clicked. Angela, she didn't know that her ex was an alcoholic and now she was scared if I found out, I would let the kitty out the bag.

"Yes, my first time here." the detective turned her back on the corridor.

I felt a presence next to me and my grandfather appeared.

"Hello there." He said looking at Dlamini. "Are you new to the congregation?" he asked with a smile.

"Um..." Dlamini stumbled and I jumped in for her.