The Light in the Dark (completed)

Hope

    My own dark brown eyes pierced me through my mirror. The other girls were either in bed or laughing. They were all home schooled here. But I didn't get along with anyone except Kacy. She learned my language so she could talk to me. The only one who could. I haven't talked to any one except her since I was seven unless it was through writing, which wasn't usual. Now I'm twelve and going into seventh grade. Kacy was my translator though most people didn't try communicating with me. Because of that, she was coming with me to my first day of public school. I saw her come up behind me and turn me around by my shoulders. She waved as if say hello. She has helped me slightly understand lip reading. Though people who mutter or talk under their breath make it practically impossible to read their lips. So if you don't know, or haven't catched on yet. I'm deaf.

    Are you excited? She signed. I jerked my shoulder up in response.

She had already done my makeup and I had done hers. I wore black mascara and light blush finished with a glossy lip gloss. I had a slightly pale reflection and dark hair and eyes. I had freckles which dotted over my nose and on my cheeks. Kacy was tanned and light brown hair but her hazel green eyes glowed with enthusiasm.

You'll have fun! She said.

    I hope your right. sign language was difficult to learn. But Kacy caught on quickly. She handed me an outfit she had bought me recently. I touched my chin and pulled my hand down, thank you. Then I retreated to the bathroom to change. It was a black three quarter sleeve top and a black, grey, and white, plaid skirt. As I stepped out, Kacy was already ready in her hazel dress which had short sleeves and came down to her fingertips. I left my hair down in its natural waves as it cascaded down to my hips and she let me put hers in a loose French braid.

We stepped out into the summer air and started toward the school which was only a few blocks away. I lived in town in Ohio. It was a dumb place for an orphanage. No one ever came, which meant nobody left. Including me. When we reached the school, I paused at the door.

    Come on you'll be fine! Kacy said. I smiled and silently said a prayer following her into the brick building id never been in. We stepped in and a cool gist of air swept over us. Kacy walked to the door which was labeled office and I followed her.

At the orphanage I didn't have a good reputation. Maybe if people never saw the real me or brought out the real me, I'd never show. My new strategy is to stay in back, be unnoticed. Kacy was handed papers and she led me to a locker with a lock on it witch I've practiced on before. She showed me my combination and I opened it on the first try, which excited me. Very few things did that to me nowadays. She had a locker beside of me since her last name was Taylor.

We had no books yet since we would receive those in our classes. They made sure Kacy had the same classes at me since she would translate for me so I wouldn't have to be in special ed. Though I don't know what that would've helped anyway.

My first class was English. I stepped into the room and everyone stared. Kacy led me to the teacher who was sitting at the front of the classroom. She said a few things and he nodded then pointed to two seats in the back of the room where were to sit. I sighed and watched people around me whisper as I walked past their desks. The desks were separated into pods so at our table there were two boys. One with dirty blond hair and the other with ginger hair and freckles covering his face. 

The one with dirty blond hair lowered his head shyly and looked into a book in his lap. The ginger one looked more open but decided to ignore us. I sat in front of the dirty blond and beside Kacy. I breathed and watched Kacy signing, repeating the teacher.

Hello class! This is English 7 and I'm your teacher Mr. Crane. We will start today with learning names so we will start up here. He pointed to a short kid with dark hair. He stood up and I tapped Kacy and said.

I'll read lips and she nodded and turned to the small kid. It was embarrassing when she has to do that for me and made everyone stare even more.
The first six were named,
John
Amy
Carly
Adam
Kendra
Jenessa
    Then the red haired boy went. I think he said Andrew. It was now the dirty blonds turn. He said Zach. I don't know why I was so curious about him but I pushed away the thought and watched Kacy stand and sit. She looked at me and I nodded. I stood up and felt eyes burning into me. I clasped my shaky hands together and then pulled them apart and spelled out H-O-L-L-Y. Kacy pronounced it in English for the rest of the class as I sat. Most still stared at me but I ducked my head and rested it on my fist. I watched through my hair, Kacy signing what the teacher said. He mostly just talked about what we'd be learning this year. I didn't know how I'd make it through another period of this. I sighed and laid my head on the table. My skin tingled. I was being watched.

I took a sideways glance and saw Zach watching me but he snapped his head away so I wouldn't see him. Little late. My next three classes were uneventful until lunch where I went through the line and collected food. Once I'd gotten through the line, I'd only got chicken sandwich and a scoop of fruit. I breathed and sat at a table near the back. No one sat near me except Kacy and we had a small conversation but it was hard signing and eating at the same time so we mostly ate or talked about the school. I'd be rarely participating in gym. I don't know why not though.

The bell rung and we left the cafeteria. My remaining classes had a lot of the same people. Including Zach in more than half of my classes. I don't know why I cared though. I shook my head and closed my locker and leaned against it.

Everyone around me was whispering about the topic of the day and I had no doubt it was me. I'd always been a bit depressing. Nothing much to do, no conversations. I sighed and turned toward Kacy who was watching me with concern.

    Are you okay?

    I don't even know. I shrugged.

    What are you thinking about?

    What's there to think about?

    She sighed.

    Let's go I signed and left the locker area to the front doors. Kacy wasn't far behind me as we emerged from the school.  I looked behind me and saw a dirty blond kid retreat the opposite direction from me. A smile crept onto my lips but I turned my head so Kacy didn't notice.

•••

    I lay in the bed that night, on my back, thinking. I had just heard the best news in my life. At least so I think so. I had recently been to the hospital before school started and had them check my ears. I had these frequently but this was at a different hospital. They had told me, my hearing wasn't completely lost. My right ear was deaf. No hope. My left was close, But not fully. Which sounds weird and it really was, but the point was there was hope.

They told me not to keep my hopes up, that only if I got adopted from a rich family would I ever be able to afford a surgery like that. A surgery to help my ear. They emphasized help. Not repair but my smile wouldn't leave my face. I had hope. I haven't had something so strong in five years. And I only had fear then.

    The more I sat there the more I hated myself. I was being stupid. No one adopts teenagers. No one. Ever. I was never going to get adopted and my chances a rich family would were lowering that. I turned and let my eyes fill with tears. I clutched the white fabric covering my pillow and let the tears fall.

Hope was a strong feeling. Maybe to strong for me to handle.