The Light in the Dark (completed)

Never leave

    I ran over to the toilet and puked into  the gaping hole. I sighed and laid back down  on my back on the bathroom floor. I know it sounds disgusting but I'm extremely tired. It has been three weeks of recovery already and yesterday I started my second round of chemo. Ugh this really sucks and today I go back to school doomed, yes I know. I have lost a bit of weight because when you can't eat anything without regurgitating it. I struggle out of the room and get dressed in black shorts and a pink tank top with different shades of orange and pink on it. And then I covered myself in a white loose jacket. I skipped on a black beanie and walked out the door. I was greeted by Zach and we silently left for school. I tensed up before we walked into the school. I worried I would get pointed at and teased. Being honest with myself wasn't helping either, I knew I'd get pointed at and called names. The sick deaf girl. Seems like it describes every bit of me. Zach looked back with worry and I shook off the feeling. I let go of his hand and walked through the door. I feel every eye on me and Zach as he emerges behind me. He also is wearing a hat on his head in which had no hair on it.
    I walked into the office and gathered my schedule. I went to my locker which had someone beside of it I didn't recognize. They were digging into their locker and setting all of their items in it. Zach tried to tell me not to go to school but nobody would care enough to send me home. I just walked straight into my home room and sat down silently.  I got plenty of stared but they weren't hard to avoid. Whispers and points and eyes glued to me. I was used to it by now. Zach came in and say down beside of me with a smile for a greeting.
     A new girl walked in. She had soft green eyes and naturally straight brown hair. There were a lot of empty seats in the classroom and just by luck, she sat beside of me. I wasn't social, obviously, it kind of helped not being able to communicate.
    First bell rang and the teacher wasn't in there yet. The girl beside of me nudged me with her elbow and pushed over a piece of paper toward me.
Hey. It wrote.
Hello. I wrote back and she smiled.
You two are so cute you know that right? She smiled widely and I raised an eyebrow but smiled also.
Hmm? I write back and she smiles a bit more. Even if that's not humanely possible.
That's all the whole school is gushing over. Oh and I'm Meredith. She wrote.
Like, from Grey's? And I'm Holy. I wrote back.
That's pretty, and yeah named after Grey. I love that show! Meredith wrote excitedly.
Me too. I commented excitedly.
Suddenly the door swung open and a short old women walked in. She had rusty colored hair and her face was wrinkled into a scowl. Oh great. This period was algebra 1. God how I hated math. I somehow got into advanced math.
Everyone introduced themselves and I stayed seated and Zach introduced for me. I stayed quietly seated for the rest of class and only barely bothered to pay attention to the beginning of the year speech.

•••

I lay my tray down beside of Zach. I can't eat it. I complain.
Why? He requested.
I'll throw it up again. I sign as soon as I see a try beside of me. I look up and see Meredith. She seems very nice. I watch her and Zach exchange a few words and then we all eat. I only take a few bites and I clutch my stomach.
I quickly sign, give me a minute. And sprint to the bathroom. I spill out the rest of my breakfast and a few bites of lunch. I groan and get up to wash my mouth out. I walk back into the cafeteria and settle back down at the table. I grab my tray and dump it. Most of my hotdog and all of my sides.
See you guys later. I sign and walk off. Zach eats the few remaining scraps of food on his tray and dumps it. Meredith continues to eat her food at the table while I walk off with Zach following me. I turn around when we emerge into the hallways.
I'm good. Then I see a hint of disbelief- well more of his face his smothered in disbelief. Really. I'm fine. I'm just... Very very nauseous. I correct. Zach looks at me for a minute.
You are amazingly unbelievable. He signs and I roll my eyes.

•••

Now I could feel it. The tumor. It was unmistakably my tumor. I sighed and sat back down on my bed. I groaned in frustration and stretched out my arms until I couldn't anymore. I then pulled myself up after a long time and searched through my drawers. I pulled out the black shorts and a grey and black shirt with the word 'PINK' stretched across my chest. I didn't put on any makeup, I was only going to see Zach?
I opened the gate to the garden and Zach was already there. I sat down beside of him like every other time.
Are you feeling okay? He asked me after a while of silence.
You mean other than the nausea and cramps? Yeah I guess. I sign bluntly. Sorry that was a bit rude.
Its okay, I get it. He says. I sit there for a minute and a sharp pain burns in my chest. I try breathing but it only gets faster and faster till I'm bending over gagging. Zach is cluelessly trying to help me but I don't know what's wrong with me.
Finding no other option, Zach picks me up bridal style and lay me on the bench swing. He ran out of the garden and most of the rest was just a blur. It seemed only seconds later, he was back and I saw the flashing of sirens. I was lifted into a stretcher and pushed into an ambulance and sped away. We had no hospitals that could help me near here. Only a helicopter landing. I was taken into a helicopter and flown out to my normal hospital.
By the time I got there, I felt like I was dying. I struggled to hold open my eyes. My vision was blurry and I grasped onto life. Literally I felt my sweaty palm clasped in Zach's. My eyes darted around the flashing lights and paramedics.
    When we reached the hospital I was taken straight to the ER and I felt a familiar mask converting my mouth and nose. An IV was connected to my arm and the world started to spin. I focused my eyes for one moment and I saw my heart monitor beat unevenly and then I turn to Zach who's face is streaked with tears and he signed.

I thought you said you'd never leave?