Mr Poe had insisted that I leave Sofiya behind so the proper authorities could take her away. Apparently our next guardian wouldn't appreciate having a snake. In my upset state I cuddled into to Klaus until we were away from the house.
In the car I read Romeo and Juliet.
"Reading that again?" Klaus chuckled. My head was on his shoulder while I was reading. I just nodded, causing him to laugh. The next I knew I was putting the book down and getting out of car. Mr Poe left, not even walking us to the door.
"Aunt Josephine?" Klaus read.
"Never heard of her." Violet sighed.
"Why are we always living with people we don't know?" I said.
"No idea." Violet replied. Holding hands with Klaus, we walked to our next home.
The house we arrived at was beat up and hanging over a cliff. I was apprehensive to say the least about staying here. As we walked to the front door, it opened slowly.
"Aunt Josephine?" Violet said. A woman poked her head out of the door, and looked like she would die from stepping outside. I didn't understand what was so scary.
"Freya? Baudelaires? Is that you?" She whispered. Was she always this timid?
"Yes." Violet replied warmly. I think this person is nuts. I'd rather sleep outside. Just as I had done with Count Olaf, I was about to turn and walk away, but Klaus pulled my arm closer to him.
"You're not leaving me!" He whispered harshly, but I knew he didn't mean it.
"Oh. Oh good. Come in. Hurricane Herman is about to arrive." She welcomed us in.
"Oh Violet, look at you! Come in quickly." She began walking inside, but stopped us.
"What's the matter?" Asked Klaus, confused.
"Not that quickly, you could trip on the welcome mat and decapitate yourselves. So quickly but not that quickly." Then she stepped aside to let us in. I gave Klaus a 'she is nuts! Lets leave before she kills us' look. He ignored it and dragged me inside.
The house inside was simple. It looked like she built it herself. Not to mention the fact that it was just as cold in here as outside. I guess tonight I'd have to cuddle into Klaus's arms to keep warm. The wind picked up and the house shook.
"I'm sorry it's so chilly in here. Sometimes it gets so cold I can hardly stand it." She apologised while blowing her nose, clearly having a cold. I felt like I'd get pneumonia in this house.
"Would you like me to turn the radiator on for you Aunt Josephine?" Violet politely offered.
"Oh no, I never turn on the radiator. I'm afraid that it might explode." She said casually.
"Children, I must ask you not to use any of the doorknobs in the house, just push on the wood of the door and it will open." She explained.
"Why?" Klaus clearly couldn't understand that this lady was clearly delusional.
"Well I'm always afraid the doorknob will shatter into a million tiny pieces and one of them will hit my eye." She replied.
"Someone's been to crazy town." Sunny said in her language. I couldn't agree more Sunny.
"Delmo is not a word. I can see I'm going to have to teach her proper English. Grammar is one of the greatest joys in life." She said, clutching a grammar book. Sunny is a toddler and you expect her to speak fluently? Seriously?
"She's the mayor of crazy town!" Sunny said in her talk. I giggled, earning a warning glare from Klaus.
Before I knew it, it was time for food.
"Perfect, nice hot soup." Violet smiled.
"Actually it's chilled cucumber soup." Aunt Jo said. I just politely pushed my bowl away subtly.
"I never cook anything hot. I'm afraid the oven will burst into flames." Because that's a normal thing to say during dinner.
"Where is Klaus."
"Kitchen." I told Aunt Jo.
"Klaus! What are you doing?" She asked startled.
"Napkins?"
"Napkins are here, come away from the fridge, if it falls it could crush you flat!" Now I get why we have mental hospitals! Why do we have to stay here? Klaus came and sat next to me.
"Would you like to see some pictures?" Asked Jo. We crowded around Violet as she turned the pages. It turns out that the scared to death person we know now, was once a lion taming dare devil. Who would have thought?
"Wait is that our parents?" Questioned Klaus, stopping Violet on a group photo.
"Is that uncle Monty?" I pointed to him.
"I don't like that picture of me!" Jo tried to take it.
"Why do you all have those spy glasses, is this a club?" Klaus demanded answers.
" I DON'T. Like that picture of me." Aunt Jo cried, taking back the album.
"Did Ike die in a fire?" Klaus said.
"No, no, silly child, no. Leeches ate him. Come I'll show you." We exchanged a look saying 'is she serious'.
"O..K..." Sunny said. We walked over to a window at the far end of the house.
"Ike and I explored every inch of Lake Lacromose. From Horrid Harbour, all the way over to Curddled Cave, way, way over there." She swung Klauses hand then sat on the windowsill. We just stood around awkwardly.
"Near that rock is where the leeches attacked." She continued. What the hell were leeches?
"Lacromose leeches have 6 rows of very sharp teeth and one very sharp nose. They are blind but they can smell food on a human from miles away." She was answering the silent questions.
"I said to Ike that he must wait 1 hour before swimming. But he only waited 45 minutes. And..." She broke down, clutching poor Violets hands. Violet just sat there not knowing what to do. Klaus had walked away.
"Klaus! That was Ike's room." Klaus backed away from the door that he was approaching.
"Maybe if you moved away from here, Aunt Josephine, you might feel better." I stated.
"I could never, never, sell this house. I'm terrified of realtors." That was not a rational fear. She has to many fears. If you spend your time worrying about things, you miss life, you miss what is right in front of you and you won't realise it until it's gone. My mother's wise words to me. Klaus approached Violet and I.
"We got to get her out of the house." I nodded in agreement.
