Where Am I

Forget (2)

(trigger warnings: selfham)

Ever since that day Tyler hasn't been himself. Niether is the mood of the environment around him. Josh has tried to forget any of it happened, but the trauma won't get out of his head.

"Hey, can we talk?" Josh asked Tyler, sitting down onto the couch.

"Sure, about?" Tyler replied.

"What happened a few weeks ago, I still never figured out what went through your mind. You haven't been you since then."

"It's not that big of a deal."

"Tyler, you woke up screaming and put a gun to your head, and thought I was dead. That seems like a big deal to me."

"I don't want to talk about it. I can't speak of it."

"Im just trying to help you," Josh sighed.

"Well you arn't helping, so just leave me alone." Tyler said, getting frustrated.

"I-I'm sorry."

"Oh my god Josh, everyone that ever said sorry to me are not always sorry. You don't know what happened, and I can't talk about it seemed to real. So as I said leave. me. alone."
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"I can't get him to talk to me, can you please try and talk to him to see if he can go see this therapist, I'm just really worried." Josh says concernly as he gets off the phone with Tyler's mother.

Josh sits on the bed, feeling down about the way his bestfriend has been acting. He has never seen Tyler act this way, he won't even open up to him about what went through his head. Josh lays back onto his bed and puts his hat over his head trying to see if he could get some shut eye to get his mind off of it.
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While Josh is sleeping, Tyler comes back to their apartment from the store, placing a bag of groceries onto the counter about to make dinner. In the quietness, Tyler doesn't bother to check to see what Josh was doing, and was glad he seemed to be by himself. He then hears his phone ring. It was his mom.

"Hey sweetheart, how ya feeling?" His mother says in concern.

"Alright, why, whats wrong?" He asked confused.

"Josh just wanted me to check on you, since y'all to haven't been talking as much lately. I know what happened a few weeks ago honey, and I'm truley sorry."

"Mom, please."

"It's just you haven't been yourself lately, not being Tyler, your dad, Zack, Jay, Josh, and everyone, including myself have been worried. And we want you too start talking to a therapist about what happened. We can tell you're a bit traumitized by this so we want you to get your feelings out with a professional. I love you Tyler."

"Oh, um, okay. Well I-uh am about to start making dinner so, I'll talk to you uh-later, bye mom," Tyler hangs up the phone in aggervation, not wanting to vent on his mother, so pretended he didn't here anything and continued to make dinner.
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Chop, chop, the sound of Tyler chopping up vegetables repeats.

"One little slip up, I could end up chopping my finger off," he giggled.

There was no sound in the apartment but the knife cutting up the ingredients. Tyler was so intrested in the knife sliding through the food, he forgot what he was even making. He then gently slides the knife slowly through a half cut carrot.

"I wonder what it is like. For a knife to just slide across a part of you," he told himself in curiosity.

He then laughed about what he said when he picked up the knife. He held it in a comfortable position as he brought his imangination to life. Tyler slid the knife across his wrist, blood starting to rush out. He groans in pain but smiles it through as it didn't happen. Tyler forgot about everything he was just told about seeing a therapist and kept sliding the knife, leaving cuts all over his wrist. The blood drips onto the floor, onto his shoes. He puts the knife down forgetting all about dinner. Tyler cleaned up his mess and stopped the bleeding a little on his arm to prevent more. He sits on the couch silently. He smiles, looks at his scarred wrist and closes his eyes and sleeps. Tyler felt no pain, and disregards the setting around him. Forgets the doctor, forgets Josh, forgets everyone. Eyes shut, wrist open in various spots as Josh wakes up to the mess all over the kitchen. He walks over to Tyler.