Where Am I

Week (11)

tylers p.o.v

What the hell was I thinking? God I am such an idiot. Josh probably hates me now, never wants to see me again. Maybe I'm just overthinking, but I dont think so. I dont even know where I am anymore, I ran somewhere not even knowing what direction I'm going. I even left my phone on the table. I love Josh, I do want to be his boyfriend, but I dont know what caused me to run. Now it's dark out, I don't know what time. I'm just wondering the streets, alone with my thoughts. I'm just so tired, I'll just let my feet bring me to wherever. Then everything goes silent. I'm still walking, just all the sound stopped. It's completely silent, and now the sighting is starting to stop, everything is going pitch black, but my feet just keep shuffling down the path. Maybe I was sleep walking? No I cant be, because im conscious, atleast I think I am?

"Just stop it Tyler," I heard that voice again. The voice that sent shivers down my spine, makes my body ache. I ignore the voice, maybe he will go away.

"Just end it."

I keep walking ignoring my thoughts, or whatever they were, even though I could be anywhere by now, I wasn't going to stop.

"No one cares."

I shut my eyes trying to stop tears from falling out.

"Stop wasting your time crying, you have no one to comfort you."

I just let the tears fall; splashs of the tears hitting the ground pound into my ears.

"Everyone thinks you're crazy, just look at your arm."

I stop walking and lower my knees to the floor, balling crying and screaming, even though it all just echos in the backround.

"Do it."

"NO"

"Tyler, no one cares anymore, not even Josh. Why would he after you just rejected him like that."

"I LOVE JOSH."

"Well it's too late for that isnt it. Just end it all, its all right ahead infront of you."

All of a sudden I have sight and hearing again. I'm faced to face with the end of the bridge, all I can hear is echos. All I hear is him. Maybe he is right. I put my arms out, I just wanna fly. Take me far away. Give me a star to reach for, tell me what it takes. I close my eyes, and I feel me floating as gravity pulls me down. All of a sudden everything comes back to me. I open my eyes and I'm falling. But it seems like it's taking its time. I hear someone yell my name, as I hit the raging water.

I'm not the best swimmer so I try my best to stay upfloat, when I see someone else fall in after me and a crowd of people gather near the bridge. It was Josh. Why was he here? It doesnt matter I need him here.

"Josh!" I yell for him as loud as I could.

He swims to me and takes me into his arms, "I got you Tyler, I promise."

We walk off onto the shore as police and am ambulances rush to us.

"I love you Josh, I will be yours."

"I love you too Tyler, I won't ever stop," Joshs lips messed with mine and it felt like time stopped.
__________________________

The ambulance then takes me away, making sure I'm okay. Great, going to the hospital twice in 3 days. But this time Josh is right by my side, holding my hand as I'm strapped down, because they don't know what I'll do. I'm not crazy. I drift off, I'm really tired.

When I wake up I look in the corner Josh was alseep in my hospital room. There is my doctor a two nurses talking near the door, so I try to eavesdrop the conversation.

"We need to put him on suicide watch. Have you seen that boys arms? Jumping off a bridge because when he opened his eyes someone told him to do so. He needs to be watched, you don't know what's wrong with his head.

Instantly tears fall down my face and I start screaming.

"I'M NOT FUCKING CRAZY, I DON'T NEED YOU TO BABYSIT ME, GET ME OUT. LET ME LEAVE!" Josh then wakes up and him and the nurses try to calm me down, but I just wouldn't. They eventually sedate me. And when I woke up, Josh was crying and I was being tooked away. Since I was awake, they let him say goodbye and explained what was happening. Suicide watch. For a week. He kissed me bye and brought me to my room for the next 7 days. Nothing but some books, a bed, a tv surprisingly, and a deck of cards. Thankfully they let me bring my notebook, but I don't know how I could write since they can't trust me with a pen or pencil. It will be a long, depressing week ahead of me.

sorry its been like a week ? without an update, i have school but im trying my best here ;-;