sHe (Haylor)

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"You seem to be in your own daze over there Har" Matt pokes fun of my silence at the bar. I had been staring at her. Well, no, not my mysterious her; but Rachel. She has been in her own world too and as I watch her more, I realize it's not just her own world she's in, she's sad; or hurt. Whether it's one or the other, I cannot stop watching her actions until I know.

I do feel bad; I had been rude to her before we left. She just kept nagging me after I had gotten out of the shower, "I'm so happy I get to meet your friends" or "Hopefully your friends won't bother us too much tonight so I can come home with you" and then she would rub my arm to show her interest.

"Sorry, the conversation is just dry to me" I joke, sipping at the warm first beer of the night. The boys have been taking shots and drinking the night away. I have been sitting, staring and wondering while sipping on that one beer I've ordered.

I realized after the shower that I wasn't in the mood to drink or party or get into any kind of trouble tonight. Rachel touches my arm on the table, giving me a smile to ease my mind. But she doesn't ease my mind nor does the bar noise.

She crosses my mind too, not Rachel this time, but my bisexual drunk. Not just wondering what she's doing tonight like it has crossed me before, but what do her parents think of her? what do her parents believe she does on Tuesdays or Wednesdays?

"I'm going to go out for a smoke" I push my chair out to excuse myself

"I thought you would quit babe" Rachel smirks at me and I cringe at her. She doesn't get to call me that, there is nothing hot or sexy about her calling me 'babe'. On top of all of that, she has no right to even claim I said I would quit.

She tries to hold me back but I continue outside with my pack of Reds. The cool wind rests on my cherry cheeks. January weather is cooler in the UK, I typically have to bundle up in coats and scarves before heading out. But here, in New York, I can go out with a sweater and hat where I can feel fine. Not that I like the cold weather, but if I were to choose New York winter over the UK, I am more than happy to stay here in the big apple.

"Spend the night off smoking outside a grungy bar huh?" a voice comes from the alley. Her shadow engulfs in the light. She shows her short blonde hair with that little bit of spunk pink on her tips. I smile as if I were seeing a ghost, or if my imagination was playing tricks on me.

"Where have you been?" I comment, knowing that last time I saw her was Tuesday, stressed out than ever before.

"What's it to you Brit?" she chuckles, "I've been in the shadows" I watch as her bright smile lights up my room.

She has a point, what's it to me where she has been and what's it to her that I worry about where she has been. "I just wonder about my bisexual drunk friend"

"Ah, were friends now" she grabs my tobacco stick

"Well, you do smoke my cigarettes without asking. I would call that a very weird friendship we have"

She chuckles and relights my cigarette. The smoke comes out of her mouth into the chill air, "you do serve me alcohol, so I would consider you somewhat of a friend" she keeps smiling at me.

I give her my first smile of the night and take back the cig. She sits in silence with me, taking in the eerie air together. Her scent is reminiscing, as if I've been with her before. Not in the way I have serving her but that I've been with her before. It's a mix of berry and smoke, as if she lived in the smell. Its strong and enjoyable; the way it sits in the air shows that she is not who I think she is.