sHe (Haylor)

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Taylor whispers to me in the middle of the night. A thank you comes from her lips before I hear a deep breath. My body is resting so I can't move, though I want to hold her tight and my mind stays awake, listening to her cries at night.

"I love you" another whisper comes and my heart skips a beat. I find my mind start to wander back to sleep. Her words sooth me back into dreams of her and I.

This whole night has been a mess and I didn't realize that this was Becca's plan all along. Louis and I talked while both girls went to bed and he explained Becca wanted to get Taylor drunk to expose her to me. Which I think is a super shitty thing to do and I still am falling for Taylor no matter what happens. I don't think there is anything she can do that would turn me away at this point, I'm too invested and too open for me to just give up on us.

I didn't like Louis at first, I hated the thought that he was forcing Becca to change into a stereotype girlfriend but as we talked, I started to really enjoy his company. He's smart and passionate about things and he knows that it may seem controlling that he's asking Becca to remove her tattoos, but he has a job lined up for her that could possibly make her the happiest girl in the world.

Through Louis, I learn what Becca does on her free time. She doesn't just sit on the couch all day long when I'm at work or when I'm at school. She volunteers her time at an art facility for kids with mental handicaps. I was shocked to hear that she was so friendly outside of her hard exterior.

Taylor on the other hand hasn't left my mind since I closed my eyes. Becca's words ring through my ears about Taylor being arrested for stalking, which scares me but I also know Taylor and she probably was doing whatever she was doing with a light heart. It's not that easy to form a thought around that though, it eats me alive this night.

When tears sat in Becca's eyes, I felt bad. I hurt for her because she realized what she has done to her sister. I know Taylor is a forgiving person, but I don't think she will easily let this slide. Which sucks now because Becca is remorseful and wants to mend things with her sister, but Taylor won't comply.

"Hey, come out for a smoke?" Becca shakes me awake, getting me to the patio. She grabs my pack of cigarettes from the table before opening the slider. Louis is still asleep on the blow up, sprawled out now that Becca is gone.

She sits in the plastic chair, tossing me the lighter with silence. Crackle from the ashes sizzle in the morning sun, the only sound that sits between us. She stares out to the sunrise, taking puffs of toxins into her chest, I follow the movements.

"I really didn't mean to snap" she comments finally, "I never wanted to hurt her"

"But you did Becca" I look at her but her gaze is still on the sun. "Physically and mentally"

"She hurt me too"

"Yeah but you're tough" I remark, which shuts her up, "Taylor is sensitive, she can't take those bullets like you do."

"I really messed up, didn't I?" she asks and I respond with a nod. There's a sigh from her chest, allowing the smoke to follow out through her nose. I sit still in the silence, burning my lungs with the taste of tobacco. "I just wanted to tell you how she's been arrested"

"That's not something you're supposed to tell me Becca" I shake my head, "that's for Taylor to tell me when she's comfortable enough"

I dreamt last night that Taylor had claimed her love for me, proving that one day she will tell me and that she is trusting enough. I wish it were true though, that she loved me. These dreams have been happening to me for the past week. It scares me because I dream she loves me and it feels so real, which makes me think she's actually said it and I worry I will spit it out in real life without her response.