sHe (Haylor)

Chapter 23

Becca's POV

Louis holds me at night when I cry myself to sleep. I knew Taylor and I never got along but to hear that she had never loved me and to see I actually hurt her, hurt me. I know I've never been nice to her, we just are too dissimilar.

I hate how she sit's up straight like our mother or when she drinks wine, she drinks it just like the lady taught us at etiquette school. She always follows rules to the tee and I hate it. It started to bother me when I realized not every family is like ours.

That's why I changed so much. It's that I was forced to be one way for so long and when I got to high school and my mother went ape shit, I decided to rebel. I started to hang out with the girls that skipped 3rd period for a smoke behind the trash cans and changed my hair. I loved every moment of it, being something that I didn't have to be.

Taylor was shocked that I made all of these changes, not comprehending that we weren't meant to be similar. She was so adamant on us being sisters for life and that we do everything together and be best friends. I couldn't do that, even if we are twins, she annoys me too much to be around.

But now I know I've dug myself deep. I didn't realize I valued my sisters love so much, and when it got taken from me, I shattered.

Not that I'm willing to be best friends with her right away, but I'm hurt that I've hurt her.

"Taylor is going to swing by in a little bit, I have to get to the bar, can you get to therapy on your own today?" Louis is grabbing his keys, standing by the door for me to answer. I'm cuddled up in his sweatshirt and a blanket, giving a soft nod.

I'm not happy he's leaving bed to go to the bar, but I guess there's an emergency and he has to get down there to make sure everything is okay. I don't want to go to couple's therapy alone, which would just make it regular therapy and I'm too depressed to admit to that.

I wish I hadn't said what I said to Taylor. She was hurt from the words vomiting from my mouth. I know Harry is right too, I could take her words because I don't care, plus Louis already knew my past with the abortion and everything. But Taylor can't even trip on the carpet and not cry. She's a sensitive girl and I know that. I'm her twin for fucks sake.

"Will you go to therapy with me?" I ask Harry on the other end, he was laughing when he picked up, showing that him and Taylor are happy. I'm glad Taylor is happy.

"Uh, I got to get to work after I help Taylor. What time? I can tell them my car got stalled"

"It's in an hour, I would love if you did that" I respond, flopping back in bed, "Taylor's coming over"

He chuckles, "I know, we're just about to leave. I guess she can pack up and I can take you"

I got my 8th speeding ticket last night, suspending my license for a month. I was just happy I was driving with the window open and managed to sober my high ass up. He couldn't tell.

"Thanks Har" I call him by his name for the first time in months. There's a scoff from him before hanging up.

I know that because of what I did, I also hurt Harry. The words not only hurt and crushed Taylor, but it hurt him because he can't help Taylor. He's a caring guy, it hurts him when he can't do something to make Taylor happy. So me saying things to intentionally hurt Taylor, hurts Harry, bringing me back to why I feel like absolute shit.

Taylor doesn't look at me when she walks through the door, heading straight to her room. Harry is looking at her ass as she walks away, giving me a smile when she's gone. It makes me sick seeing him look at her like that; it makes me sick to think Taylor can be sexy enough for him to feel comfortable enough to do that.