Genre: Science Fiction
Chapters: 1-2
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CHAPTER 1
Thoughts while reading:
~ Based on the cover, I thought this was going to be fantasy, but the description clearly says otherwise!
~ Well the MC's a morning person isn't she? If I were woken up like that I'd rage-throw pillows at everyone til they left so I could sleep again. XD
~ I am envious of her friendships. O_O
~ If her parents are overprotective, mine are prison guards. Overall, this was an excellent start! I'm not a fan of the whole "first scene is the character waking up" trope, but you did it well enough that it didn't bother me much. The time skip and the "what happened during the time skip" part felt a bit forced to me, but I could be over analyzing. I also loved the cliffhanger, it was really nice, although it felt a bit quick for me to envision it in full. Overall, a great opening chapter that could be amazing with a small amount of polishing. *thumbs up*
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CHAPTER 2
Thoughts while reading:
~ I love her thoughts as she wakes up. "Don't I have an awesome bed?" 😂
~ She's smart. I like her. *brownie points*
~ Oh DA SASS. I LOVE HER NOW.
~ I'm just worried that about how loud it would be for her to use the wrenches. It's still metal on metal. I'm also wondering whether they would not check on her for that long. People who use chloroform should know how long its effects are...
~ Ah, human trafficking. Adds a layer of sincerity to the plot, as long as it's not misused or misrepresented.
~ Dang, she'll need a tetanus shot since those nails are rusty. O_O
~ How far was the fall?? Falling in your head is dangerous and lethal if it's far at all.
~ Wormhole? That was out of the blue.
~ I am so calling her Kritti now. Yep.
~ Your metaphors though. "Thrown into a washing machine" 😂
I don't know how realistic kidnapping the wrong person is, but everything else so far is logical and consistent (other than the few concerns I raised above) and I greatly appreciate that. I love how calm headed she was, it made it more interesting for me to visualize and easier too. Hey, you even got some in-line comments out of me, which is rare. XD
I think the moment you really sucked me in was when she got out the window and started running. I know you sucked me in because when I'm sucked in, I start involuntarily skimming ahead to see what happens and have to force myself to stay chronological.
Your flow was much better for this chapter, with few enough mistakes to count on one hand. Great job! I'm curious to see what's on the other side. ;)
