Eternal Critiques

TBG || The Maad Doctor || @JaxonBlacc

Genre: Science Fiction
Chapter: Chapter 1

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1. "After you read the whole chapter, is it intriguing enough to make you turn to the next chapter? And are the characters interesting?"

I am adding this to my reading list for future reading, as yes, you did indeed have me intrigued. The characters are well developed for the first chapter, and I do find what I see so far interesting enough to save this for another date when I have the time to appreciate it. Don was a very intriguing and entertaining character I look forward to seeing more. I especially enjoyed the technology, as I've been a sci-fi fan since birth. :)

2. "What do you feel like the chapter missed, whether the action was too much, or happened too fast? And Do I need to describe more about the setting of the event or...?"I feel like the dialogue and character interactions were a bit lacking, at least in the beginning. I think they were almost overly concise and I had a bit of trouble connecting with and envisioning them (ex. lack of body language via dialogue tags). This was not so bad when Stella and Don began talking, but all prior conversations felt affected by the aforementioned lack. You did phenomenally well when the characters were alone with themselves or when describing things, but that was the one area that felt off to me. Description is the least of your worries, my friend: with that, you went above and beyond and left me in awe. The only thing on that note might be to insert a short sentence or two addressing the overall appearance of the location. We've got the details of it, but I had no wide scale landscape to insert it into (for example, the type of buildings, the decorations, the lighting, general senses). Not much is needed on that front, just something small to pull all the details together into one well-thought out and easily visualized setting.

~ Nik