Genre: Fantasy
Chapters: Chapter 1
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1) Interest: It wasn't necessarily uninteresting, but it wasn't really interesting either. There was no character drive introduced, nothing to make us relate to or root for her. At this point she could have been eaten by the wolves and I probably wouldn't have cared. Consider investing some time in making her seem more human, adding layers of realism to her. Several ways you could do this.
a) she is obviously a proficient archer, but I think you took that to an extreme. You should capitalize on the dangerous situation and take the opportunity to show us how she thinks, what she wants. What's running through her mind when she hears the howl? When she's running, when she's nocking her bow? She seems overly calm. Is she scared? Is her hand shaking? Are her eyes darting, searching for movement? Don't just tell us she shoots a wolf. Add some drama and suspense to it by detailing the scene out, letting us envision it. Consider adding some weak point in her archery skill, so she doesn't come across as totally perfect, which will make her seem more realistic.
b) you COMPLETELY blew over two very important seeming concepts that could have made things more interesting if you'd elaborated on them. One was the idea that her sister is not actually her sister. What's the context for that? There was a lot of potential for piquing interest but it fell flat when you just blew right through into the next sentence as if you'd never mentioned it at all. Second, the "story of Ras-lord". You don't even hint at what that is about, and if you had, that could have solidified a "fear" for the character, giving her an additional layer of realism. Consider going back and elaborating on these two to help show how your story is unique and the characters are 3D.
When it comes to setting, there was hardly any to speak of. I get she was on a beach, then in a forest (a forest next to a beach? Is she on a tropical island or something? Is this a lake?), then her house, but there are very few visual details. Really the only really good description is that of the sky in the beginning, which was very nice. Consider adding more sensory details, not just sight. Sound, smell, taste, touch, all of those are equally good at pulling a reader into the narrative.
2) Flow: The flow itself was alright, however, again you seemed to go over everything wayyy too quickly, not stopping where it counted and leaving the reader a tad bit frustrated. You also had a few strangely placed infodumps, explaining things about her life in a way that didn't flow naturally with the thoughts she would have been having if it were real life. It's a difficult balance to find, between writing so the reader can understand the context and writing the character realistically, but it's definitely something everyone should work on.
3) Overall: Overall, you seem to have in your ideas thought out in your own mind, which is a good and important first step. However, you do need to work on translating that onto paper... er, screen. Slow things down a bit, focus on important sections and capitalize on their intrigue. You had several interesting concepts I would have loved to see expanded upon. Also, try to find a way to incorporate a motive for the character or a plot-relevant dilemma. This chapter doesn't seem to imply anything about the direction of future chapters, which means the ending needs to lead more directly into something of that sort. You do have a good base here though, so don't give up! Just keep reviewing and revising, maybe consider getting some beta readers or proofreaders/editors.
Good luck!
~ Nik
