Shadows to Stages

28 January 2016

Dear diary,

I can't believe my Mam decided this. She knows how much I've settled in here and she has to go and do this.

I HAVE TO MOVE!

I can't believe her. She said 'Honey, I know this is going to come hard on you,but we've decided to move. I'm so sorry Bella.' I looked at her and said ' No I'm staying here, I love it here. I'm not leaving and you can't make me.' Mam said 'Bella please,this is for the family, a fresh, new start for us. Didn't you want this?' I said 'We came here to have a fresh start so why do I have to do it again. You don't know how unfair this is.' Mam said 'Come on Bella, this can be a great experience. We get to travel to new places, see new things, isn't that exciting.' Dad said 'Honey listen to your mother. I know how hard this is to take in, but it will sink in eventually. Please Bella, we love you. We're doing this for you.'  I didn't care. I want to stay here. I'm not leaving and there are not making me.

Today was my last day in hospital. Thank the lord I'm out. We were walking out of the hospital, I walked ahead of them. I didn't want to talk to them after their stupid decision. When we got to the reception Mam left to bring the car to the entrance. My Dad said 'Honey, I know that moving isn't something you want to do but you have to, you have no choice.' I said 'Well as long as I get to go to internationals.' Dad bit his lip and looked at the floor.  I said 'Dad, what aren't you telling me?' He looked at me and said 'Bella, we're packing on the week of internationals so I'm sorry you can't attend internationals.' My whole world crashed. 'What. No way,I'm going to internationals no matter what day it is. Why do you have to ruin it. I don't care what you do I'm going and no one is stopping me. Period.' Dad looked at me, he looked really angry. 'Oh don't worry I'm going to stop you Bella. Period.' Mam came around with the car and me and Dad got into the car.

When we got home I ran in the house and straight to my room. I locked my door and cried. If I don't go to internationals how will any of my dreams come true. This is my one chance and my Mam and Dad ruined it. I left out the window and down the ladder. I ran to a dance studio down the road from the house. I hadn't been there before. I walked in and booked out a room. The receptionist said 'Someone has it booked after you. So head up there and dance your heart out.' She smiled. I said 'Thanks. Don't worry I will.' I went upstairs and opened the door. The studio was huge, the biggest I've seen. I started to dance and it made me feel worse. I've been practicing for weeks and now I can't go to internationals. I don't know how I'm going to break this to Mrs Williams, Maya and Abigail. They'll be crushed if I quit last minute. I don't know what to do. While I was dancing a guy came in. He sat down and watched. I felt like I had seen him before but I couldn't put my finger on it. I was too sad to think anyway. I had finished and he stood up and clapped. He came over and said 'That was unreal.' I shook his hand 'Thanks I'm Bella. You must be the person who booked it after me.' He said 'Yeah, hi I'm Nathan.' I said 'I better get going, it was nice meeting you Nathan.' He grabbed my hand and said 'You can stay, if you want.' He quickly let go. I kinda wanted him to keep holding on. 'Thanks I'd love to. So what are you practicing for?' Nathan said 'I'm practicing for internationals for Oatfield talent school. What about you?' I said ' I'm practicing for internationals too. Are you Male soloist?' He looked at me 'Yeah. Are you female soloist? I nodded. We both high-fived each other and laughed.  I said ' I thought Scott was the male soloist?' Nathan said'No, after all the drama with you, he dropped out.' I was shocked. Mrs had planned for Scott to be male soloist and he's not nervous about anything. We both were practicing and my eyes kept going to watch Nathan. He is such an amazing dancer. He kind of reminds me of myself. He's contemporary, but does break dancing and hip hop as well.I just stared at him dancing, it was like I was in a trance watching him. When he finished I clapped so loud for him, my hands hurt. He came over and was breathing heavily. I threw him a bottle of water from the cooler in the studio. He said 'Hey, while you're here, maybe you and me should do a duet.' I said 'Yeah that's a great idea.' I was so happy. The last duet I did was with was Scott but I knew this one was going to be better. We thought of a sort of  jazz dance , but included hip hop. I was a perfect combination and it worked perfectly (see above). We had so much fun. When we were done we both walked out together. 'We should meet again tomorrow, practice this duet, make it perfect.' I was so happy. 'Yeah, totally, so we can meet after school tomorrow.' We waved and walked different directions. I'm really happy I met Nathan. He's so amazing and he kinda cute (okay he's gorgeous). Wait. Do I like Nathan? I mean we have a strong connection so maybe. I don't know.

When I got home I climbed up the ladder and back through the window. I call it my escape route. As soon as I got in both my parents were knocking on the door. I obviously wasn't going to unlock the door and let them in. They said 'Honey, you can't live in there, please come out.' I said 'Well watch me, I'm living here, maybe I'll MOVE upstairs. That's a good plan and I have a choice in moving up here.' 'Honey, you're being ridiculous.' Mam said twisting the door handle. 'Me, you made a ridiculous decision to make me move and you think I'm being ridiculous? Can you just leave me alone, please just go away.' Mam said 'Okay honey, were are so sorry.' Their voices got lower and I knew they had gone downstairs. I just lay on my bed thinking about everything, how everything took a turn for the worst. I needed something good but I don't think anything is going to.