Ben Simmons: When Two Worlds Become One

Drugged Up On You

I heard my phone buzz against the dark wood flooring. I picked my head out of my lap, and wiped a tear with my hand already smudged with black mascara. The time on my phone said 5:38pm – I hadn't moved in over two hours. The name across my phone said Emma Brenner and a picture of us at a Baylor football game flashed across my screen. "Hello?" I asked, sniffling. "Sara? Oh my gosh, are you okay? What happened?" I broke down once again. "Johnny came over to my house and I, I..." I took a breath in between sobs so she could hear what I was saying, "I kissed him."

"Johnny Manziel? That Johnny?" She asked, surprised. "Yeah, I don't even know how it happened. I wasn't thinking and before I knew it, I was making out with him in my foyer." Emma was whole-heartedly against cheating, so I knew she was not one to give a sympathetic 'that's okay, you made a mistake'. "Have you talked to Ben about it?" I could hear her boyfriend in the background asking what was wrong, but she told him to hush. "No, it just happened a few hours ago. I haven't even had time to process it." There was a few seconds of silence. "I can come over if you want, and we can talk this through." While Emma was a fantastic friend, probably my best friend, I knew she was not the person to talk about the situation with. From the beginning, she did not like Johnny and hated our relationship. 'You are just letting him use you' she would tell me, along with 'He's going to hurt you'. I never listened, I'm a pretty headstrong person and once I make up my mind about something, it's made up. When I met Ben, she was relieved I had finally found a guy that loved me with everything inside of him. 'I've never seen a guy love a girl like Ben loves you. He practically worships the ground you walk on.' She would always tell me after the three of us, sometimes four if her boyfriend joined, spent time together. "No, that's alright. You spend time with Braden, I'll see you soon." Her son was only two weeks old and I knew leaving her boyfriend alone with him was not smart. "Okay, well you can always call me if you need to talk. I love you." "I love you too."

I picked myself up off the floor and walked up the stairs to my bedroom. I threw my phone on the bed, before walking into the bathroom. Mascara was painted all over my face and I resembled a raccoon. My once neat messy bun was now truly a messy bun. My eyes were pink and puffy. I grabbed eye makeup remover from the cabinet and attempted to clean everything up. I still looked like a sleep-deprived freak, but at least I didn't have black streaks going down my cheeks. I heard my phone buzz on the bed. Walking over, Ben's name lit up the screen: Hey baby, you never texted me that you landed. Are you okay? How was your flight?. If my heart wasn't already shattered, it was now. I had finally found someone who loved my soul, who put me first, and who would never consider cheating. I finally found the guy I had been dreaming about since I was a child. I had him, and now, I risked losing him.

I texted him back: Sorry! Lots going on! I arrived home safely, thank you for checking. I wasn't ready to tell him what happened. I first needed to understand the situation myself before I could relay it to someone else. I took my hair out and let it fall down messily. I put on a teal and white printed romper and grabbed white wedges from the shoe closet. I knew at this point, there was only one person who could help me better comprehend everything. So, I got in my Mercedes coupe and drove to Johnny's condo.

He lived in a luxury Dallas high-rise. There was a doorman posted at the front. I told him my name and whose condo I wanted to visit. Because I wasn't on the list of people Johnny gave permission to come and go, he made a phone call. It was quick, maybe 15 seconds at the most. As soon as the guard said my name, he said "Yes sir, I will send her up." He buzzed me in and I thanked him, "You're welcome. Have a good day Ms. Jones." The elevator ride up to the 21st floor felt like one of the longest of my life. I didn't know why I had come here, I didn't know what I was going to say, I didn't know what I hoped to achieve. Before I could start processing any of these questions, the elevator doors opened and I walked onto his floor. To the left, was a door with '21A' on the outside. I took a deep breath, then raised my had to knock. I only had time to knock once before Johnny opened the door. He was in a white t-shirt and athletic shorts.