Ben Simmons: When Two Worlds Become One

We're In This Together

I didn't tell Ben I was coming. I didn't want to have to deal with him denying to see me, or hiding. I needed the element of surprise. And boy oh boy would today have an abundance of that element.

There, I stood, in front of his building. I walked in, and pressed the elevator button to take me to floor 9. The doors opened, and I walked to his door, 908. I took a deep breath, there was no going back now. Softly, tentatively, I knocked.

Clearly, Ben doesn't use his peep hole, because the second he opened the door, it looked as if he had Michael Jackson's ghost standing in front of him. He didn't speak, he just stared with bright eyes.

"Hi," I said quietly. He still did not respond.

"I um, sorry for turning up so unexpected, there's just, well, we need to talk." That was probably the worst formed sentence to ever come out of my mouth.

He continued to stare. He didn't look angry, he just had a blank look. It was if he was staring into space and I wasn't even there. I began to worry he wasn't going to let me in. But, after a few moments, he opened the door and I walked in.

His condo was very bland, lacking female taste. White walls, no knick knacks. There was one leather couch, a coffee table, TV, and that was it in the living room. I walked over to sit on the couch. When I looked to my side, I saw a cardboard box full of pictures. On top, a picture of him and I at Disneyland. It hit me like a bullet to the heart. I could barely see the other pictures, but I could see that they mainly consisted of his family. Because they were also there, I imagined these were not pictures he planned to throw away, but would eventually hang up. He was actually going to hang a picture of him and I in his home.

Ben still had not said a word. He just stood in front of the door. "Ben," I said. "Yes." He responded, immediately coming out of his daze. "Have a seat," I told him, patting the cushion next to me. He did as he was told, and looked at me.

"I debated on whether or not to tell you this. Part of me didn't want to because I knew we had not ended on a good note, and I was sure you never wanted to see me again. But then I realized it would be wrong for me to keep it from you, and you have the right to know. What you do with this information is completely up to you. I am not telling you this to pressure you into anything or get something from you. I just want you to know, and whatever you decide to do, however involved you choose..." I was about to end my sentence when he interrupted.

"You're pregnant." he said. This was the first time I had heard his voice in almost a month. You never realize how much miss their voice until you hear it again. His beautiful accent, it made me remember the first time we met. His voice captivated me just as it had ten months ago.

This was the first time Ben had spoken since I arrived, and I was baffled, completely shocked. I began to stutter. Out of every possible situation I imagined and prepared for on the plane ride, this didn't follow any of them.

"Yes, how'd you know?" I asked. Part of me doubted if I would even get a response. 

"Well, first I knew for you to come see me, it had to be very important. And second, you're glowing. Yes, you're always the most beautiful girl in the world, but there was something different this time. It was like happiness was radiating from you."

My heart melted when he complimented me. After all of the heart break and betrayal I had put him through, his beautiful heart could not hate me. That just isn't Ben. People who don't know him neglect to realize that. They like to make him into this cocky, rude basketball player, but everyone who knows him knows he is a total softie who cries while watching Marley and Me and has a heart of gold. 

"I want to be a dad to our baby. I want him to grow up knowing he has two parents who love him more than anything in this world. I want to teach him how to play basketball and take him on adventures and teach him how to be a real man and now how society says a man should be. I want him to tell me about his day after school, and I want to see him in the stands at my games. I want to love him more than any parent has ever loved a baby."

"Ben, I don't know if it's a boy..." I said.

"Okay, then I want to be a dad to our baby. I want her to grow up knowing she has parents who love her more than anything in this world. I want to teach her how to play basketball and I want her to teach me ballet and I want to play dolls with her and I want to let her paint my nails. I want to protect her from anything that could hurt her and I want to make sure she, God forbid she ever dates, dates a man of virtue and morals. I want to show her that she is a princess, our princess, and make sure she never settles for being less than the princess she is. I want to love her more than any parent has ever loved a baby."

Tears started to well up in my eyes, maybe it was the pregnancy emotions, maybe it was me realizing the true angel that Ben is. 

I grabbed his hand and held it in mine. Smiling, I said, "Let's be parents." 

Then, the second biggest shock of the day. Before I could react or even process what has happening, he leaned in and kissed me. I didn't even have to think, my body knew how to react. I kissed him back.

He pulled away, and I desperately wanted to pull him back. In my head, I hoped, prayed that he wasn't going to say he regretted that. 

"Sara, I want to raise this baby with you. I have spent every night since we broke up thinking about you, and wanting to call you. I wanted to say I forgive you and ask for you back in my life. I believe that everyone deserves second chances, and damn, I needed you. I never realized the happiness and meaning you brought to my life until you were no longer in it. If you don't want me, I understand. But I am telling you that I want you. I want you every second of every day."

For the first time in a long time, I said the most important phrase, and nothing ever felt that good leaving my lips.

"I love you too." Ben said, pulled me up and leading me to his bedroom. 

He pushed me on the bed, and pulled his shirt over his head. He rested on his knees, hovering over me. He kissed me hard, passionately, like it was the necessity we had been deprived of for a month. 

His hand made it's way up my shirt, and I was instantly glad I had chosen not to wear a bra that day.

I had my man back, and I could not have been happier. Now, Ben was actually a daddy ;)