I have such a totally normal life.
Firstly, I'm an assassin and I'm living a double life.
Secondly, my job is to kill mysterious-hot-boy-who-happens-to-be-my-next-door-neighbour. (Archer McHottie)
And lastly, I'm actually the chosen one. Oh yeah...
Operation kill Archer McHottie was just about to begin.
I was in the girls bathroom, preparing some poison in the toilet. Using a glass vile, I collected the sparkling green concoction. Perfect, it was tasteless, and despite from it's bright and suspicious colour, no one would know he had been poisoned. He would just die and I would get a tonne of money. The love inside me had turned onto Roberto LoveTriangle, there was none left for Archer McHottie.
I slipped the vile into my pocket and strode out of the bathroom, washing my hands. The cafeteria was packed once I stepped outside, and my eyes found Archer McHottie's table. I had to get the poison into his drink somehow.
Distraction! That always worked!
"Random!" I shrieked, and instantly, the small girl appeared at my side, smiling.
"Yes Master? I mean, uh, Mary?"
"I need you to distract Archer McHottie. Get him away from the table somehow."
She nodded. "Sure thing, Mary, I'll do my best."
Random disappeared into the crowd, and I lurked completely non-suspiciously around the cafeteria.
I spotted Random go up to Bitch girl and punch her in the face. Genius! Sometimes Random really was an awesome servant... I mean friend.
A fight broke out, and almost instantly, people gathered around the two fighting girls, chanting fight fight fight because teachers still don't exist. Random snarled and pulled at Bitch girl's hair, and she clawed at Random's face. Archer McHottie shot to his feet and ran over to the commotion, probably hoping to help dramatically save his girlfriend from being clawed to death by Random.
I walked silently towards the now empty table. There were two glasses that could potentially be his, so I did eenie meenie miney mo and chose one of the glasses to pour the green liquid into. Once I had done it, I sat down at Random and I's usual table. All I had to do was wait and watch.
Finally, teachers appeared and dragged the two fighting girls to the teachers office, and the crowd dispersed. I realized with shock that Rob had been sitting at that table next to Archer McHottie. They both sat down, talking, and Rob LoveTriangle picked up a glass to take a drink.
The glass I had put the poison in.
"No!" I screamed, launching myself off the seat and towards him, but it was too late. He gulped, swallowing the poison. His face contorted and he fell to the ground, writhing, green foam spilling out of his mouth. My knees hit the ground and I turned him over, trying to helplessly give him CPR. No! How could everything have gone so wrong?
Eenie meenie miney mo always worked!
Then he started to glow, in a red healing light that lit up the whole cafeteria. Silence overtook everyone as they turned to stare as Rob was magically glowing on the ground. Magic! It existed! It was healing him!
Rob opened his eyes, and gripped my wrist.
"You're the chosen one," he croaked.
Authors Note: Yes, our favourite Mary Sue is the chosen one (I wonder who saw that coming...) Don't forget to comment and vote if you like it! :-)
