CAPTURED

ONE

EDITED ON: 5th August 2024

Never, did I got any letters.

Never, did I got any phone calls.

Never, did I got anything actually. Not since I got stuck in this place.

From the moment I got here, I could hardly call it a life or a perfect fantasy. This was much worse though, worse than hell.

It's called prison.

They think we are from another world, someone who they can treat without any respect because we did something wrong to society. At least that is what all the guards, psychologists and counselors think. They all think we are totally fucked being in here.

It's not I'm denying anything, because yes we did something wrong and we had to be punished for that otherwise we wouldn't be here. The "here" I can call home for over the past four years.

After many hours of counseling therapy they just gave up on me, I wasn't making the progress they wanted me to make. The only one I can really talk to is mister Conrad, someone I can trust. He is one of the older man here in prison but he listens to me and that counts for something in my case. Especially when I have no one to turn to.

'Alex it's almost time for dinner where were you' Jamie, my cell mate, asked interrupting my inner demon. My eyes darted from the concrete, cold, wall to Jamie who stood in my cell opening.

'Sorry dozed off there for a minute, let's go' I replied and walked with her to the cafeteria. Jamie is one of my closest friends in here. She is understanding, loving and caring if she wants to but she also has her moments. She can be a real pain in the ass but who isn't a pain in the ass sometimes right.

The reason why she is in prison doesn't really matter, especially because we are all in here and did something bad. We don't look at the past, not anymore. When you are locked up, you're view on the world will change. Jamie is in some ways like me, we both hate the same people for example. That counts for something I guess. On the outside we are nothing alike, Jamie is a blond in heart and soul, I on the other hand have dark hair. Jamie is blessed with a lot of curves while I'm just boobless.

In some ways prison is high school all over again, you have the cafeteria, different people clinging together and we fight like no other. Especially the woman can make each others lives hell.

We have the latina's, the girls that think they look perfect and don't need to lose weight or need make up. Than the black woman of course, who are amazing, they always have me hooked on their stories. Even if I am from a different culture I really adore them. They make being stuck in here a little less worse. But you also have the racist white people who are believers in god, and than there is me with Jamie.

We cling together like glue, better than alone right? We don't really want someone else we have each other and enjoy all of them just a little bit.

xx

'What is wrong with her today does she do this often' Lucia asked, one of the black woman, to Jamie.

'She has those days I guess' Jamie replied while playing with her food.

'Sorry, not really here at the time' I confessed and gave the girls a little smile. 'So Lucia how are you?' I asked trying to get my mind off things.

'Well now you don't know what is going on because you neglected us girl' she said judging me while she chewed her gum.

'I've already said I was sorry, we should hang out more' I apologized again.

'Agree' Lucia said and turned to her other friends Dana, Marie and Shanley. That conversation moved over so fast. My fork slipped from my hand when I felt a hard kick against my leg.

'Fuck' I muttered while my eyes snapped to Jamie, did she just kick me?

'What is up with you' she burst from annoyance.

'I don't know, just not in the mood'

'We all aren't in the mood Alex, but seriously what is up with you?' she pressured, clearly not letting this go.

'Don't worry about it alright, nothing important' she nodded, but her eyes squeezed to little binoculars, she knew I wasn't telling her the entire truth. After a few minutes she joined the conversation from Lucia and let it slip for now.

My head on the other hand wasn't done with shit though, it still wandered around, what if I ever got out of here? Could I get a life? A family maybe? A job? Away from shitty people, shitty food and those ugly suits.

All these thoughts clouded my mind and I don't know why now. But these thoughts were clouding my mind like a fog clouding the streets of New York.

'So Alex how about you? How did you're family handle it that you were send to prison?' Shanley asked dragging me into the conversation.

'Well my family just pretended that I never existed. I don't know they didn't take it well and I am dead to them. Never heard from them again ever since they put me in here' I told the girls.

'Oh' Shanley replied, eyes filled with sorrow and pity. And pity is just not something I wanted from them. It's my own fault. 'That sucks' Dana added, and it really did but I'm over it. I think.

'It's in the past right, I doesn't bother me anymore' I lied to them, we are not weak. Not in here anyway.

'Well my family visited as much as they could, they would ramble on what I did wrong for all the others to hear, she even brought my grandma it was so humiliating' Jamie said. I guess them not wanting to see me is the easy way. Jamie got it much worse.

'Don't worry about it, you shouldn't care. You are amazing and they have to miss you in their lives' I replied to assure her. But it was a big fat lie. Because I do care about that kind of stuff, family showing up.

But when you show this kind of weakness you are an easy target and we can't have that. Even the guards can take advantage of you in that way.

'Oh please, you were not embarrassed you made it like that. You know whats annoying? When they expect me to call every moment when I get the chance. What do they even think? That I want to call them like that all the time?' Dana claimed.

'Ridiculous rightI' I replied to get back in the conversation.

'Alright inmates back to your cells' the head guard yelled along the cafeteria. We ditched our plates and we walked back.

'I beg for a shower after today i feel so dirty' I whispered more to myself than to someone in particular.

'I agree' she responded, while we walked into our cells.

I grabbed my shower bag and walked to the crappy, cold watered, showers. The walls were failing and there was always this creepy guard who wants to peek at us. Fucking bastard.

I looked in the mirror and saw a girl I didn't recognize. She has yellow-ish teeth, broken lips, and this frown that looks like it's never going to leave her head again. The result of a long time in prison. I put on some lip balm before hopping in the shower.

After I undressed myself I put the water on. Once I stepped into the shower, the water was streaming over my body taking every bit of dirt with it.

When I felt a bit cleaner I walked back to my cell to get some sleep. Because of this concrete cell I was cold all the time, at night I need a lot of blankets if I want to me a little warmer.

'Hurry inmate' I heard the guard yell on the hall, Jamie walked in not long after that. We only have seconds to get back to bed. This is our life, and it's not going to change any time soon.

'What took you so long?' I asked while I tied my hair back up.

'Just enjoying my shower before I got interrupter by that ass shit' she replied quite aggressive. Don't interrupt her shower time, it makes her grumpy as fuck.

'That's life right?' I replied when I let my head rest against the hard, uncomfortable pillow.

'No Alex, that is prison' Jamie replied. And she was right.

'Touché my friend' I said before closing my eyes and sleep took over for me.