Dork Diaries: Next Generation

Bad Romance

Our love is typical. Rick and I are in that faze of being absolutely in love with everything about our relationship, where we're constantly flirting. But who are we kidding? Of course nothing should change between us. I'm still Brandy, and he's still Rick, and that just makes us even more cliché. I obviously don't want to change anything about the feeling. I have one emotion that I feel is all I need, and I feel like the empty void inside is finally complete.

Yeah, no. The poor honeymoon stage lasted a day. After we did "the deed" he and I said our sweet nothings that lead to his departure, and the next day we were happy lovebirds making everyone sick to their stomachs with our countless adorable moments. And that afternoon, right now in fact, he wants more sex.

"Sorry, Bud. I'm just not feeling it." Bam. It snapped. The honeymoon stage is officially over. Gonzo. Rick isn't mad or anything. He sure isn't satisfied with my answer though.

"Not feeling it?" he laughs. "It's been a day, and you're already 'not feeling it?'"

"Good, so you heard what I said the first time." Cue the unsatisfied eye roll. "Would you like to pick up where we left off on The Hunger Games? Or are we watching something else?"

Rick shakes his head and starts going through my kitchen cabinets, looking for snacks instead of asking me where the food is. What do guys have against asking for directions? Ugh. Boys.

"Hey, smart one. The snacks are over here." He reaches over me and walks away, not at all acknowledging me. Is he being serious right now? "You're being such a guy, you know that?"

He grunts.

"Rick, if you wanted nothing but sex and food you should have stuck with Vanessa." This catches his attention. Sighs apologetically and rises from the chair he had sat in, quickly swallowing the food in his mouth. His arms hug around my waist, and I look at him with stern scowl on my face.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry." The typical answer. "I just- ugh- I don't know. I like you. And now we're together, so all the things I couldn't do with you I want to do now."

It's a still very predictable. Everything he's saying. And that's the thing about the honeymoon stage. You're either happy with the way things are, or you're bored and not quite satisfied. And that makes me feel like a slut. We made up, we fell in love, and after a day I'm not much in the mood to do anything. It's not that I don't like Rick, but damn, it sure sounds like it.

"Baby steps, okay?" Rick rolls his eyes... again. "Look, maybe we shouldn't have done anything last night since you're acting like you can't function properly."

I pull away from his arms and walk to the front door, knowing he'll follow me there. "Get out," I demand.

Each word that comes out of my mouth only captures his attention even more, which is kind of win-lose situation. I don't want him to stay, but I do want him to stay because he knows I'm pissed off. I'm a girl. Of course I don't actually want him to go.

"Brandy, okay, I get it. No sex," he argues. "I won't pressure you into anything anymore, and I'm not leaving either."

He's smiling, and even though I'm on the brink of grinning, I will myself to stay stoic. Rick is such a douche. Granted, he's my boyfriend, and I love that part about him, but still.

"I'm still mad at you, peasant."

He laughs. "Yeah, but I'll still love you more than Bob. I don't care if he cooks for you, I'm number one peasant forever and always."

That's what he thought. Bob makes French toast like some sort of breakfast god. I'd take that over Rick any day.

*~*~*~*

It was like a real life version of Tom and Jerry. Taylor has tried to get a hold of me since second period. And yeah, your girl was not ready to talk to him.

Who would have thought that I, Brandy Roberts, celebrity without feelings, would ever be heartbroken over a dumb high school jock?

I already knew what was coming anyway. He would apologize and admit he was an ass, and I'd tell him to piss off.

He finally caught me at lunch. I was so close to my car. Taylor grabs my wrist, and no matter how hard I pull, he won't let go.

Thankfully Rick gives him a withering look, and he releases his grip on me. Taylor speeds off back inside the school. God, he was being weird today. Like, yeah he's an asshole for cheating, but he's usually considerate. If I tell him to back off, he gives me my space. But today he's so eager to apologize, and I was hoping he'd take a hint when he got one. But no.

Rick and I drive to Chipotle. I disguise myself in a fairly large sunhat and some Ray Bans sunglasses while we order burritos. We hear "Hey, isn't that the cashier guy?" when Rick is asking for guac, and I'm pissed. And that's just an understatement.

He followed us to Chipotle.

"For here, or to go?"

I hand the lady my credit card, snatch the bag and Rick, and march right past Taylor.

He had to be mental to have the balls to go on a wild goose chase to apologize to me.

And I couldn't really run out of my own home when he followed me there too. I thought about getting a restraining order, but figured if I just let him apologize, he'd finally leave me alone.

"You have two minutes to explain yourself before I slam this door in your face."

And even after chasing me all day, he hesitates to spit out his apology, but then, "Josh cornered me before school. He just enrolled this morning."

Well damn.