Dork Diaries: Next Generation

Bumping Gums

"Brandy Megan Elizabeth Roberts! Get your high-trifling behind down here, right now!" Mom yells from downstairs.

Oh, God, I'm so screwed. She used not one, but both of my middle names. Not only that; she said my names altogether. I am in such big trouble, I might as well just dig my grave in the backyard. Then again, I didn't feature in a movie last year for nothing. Time to put up an innocent facade and hope for the best.

I walk into the kitchen with my head held high, but on the inside I'm DYING of suspense of what the punishment will be this time.

"Hi, Mom," I greet as if she didn't just call me by my full name. I skip to the fridge and pull out some string cheese to snack on, then sit next to Mom at the dining table.

"You don't seem the slightest bit of worried." She narrows her eyes in suspicion.

If I didn't have self control I'd of peed myself when I grabbed my cheese.

"Should I be worried?"

Yes, Dumbnut. You should be screaming in terror!

"I don't know, should you? I mean, I would be if I kissed a cashier in a public place, and it would rub off on the reputation of not only yourself, Brandy, but your family and friends too."

I scoff. "You mean the fake friends that like us for our money. I don't give a rat's –" She arches an eyebrow. She's knows exactly what I'm about to say next, and if I want to continue the sentence she'll squeeze dish soap down my throat. Breathing bubbles sounds interesting, but not healthy. "Butt. I was gonna say butt. I don't give a rat's butt about those fake barbie dolls with plastic limbs."

"Okay, but you care about Aunt Chloe, Zoey, Violet, and MacKenzie, right? You also care about me and your father, so what the heck were you thinking when you kissed that guy?"

Great. She was throwing the guilt card out. Two can play at this game.

"I don't know. This move has been stupid and hard. I miss home, and I just thought maybe I could do something fun to get my mind off things. At least my first thought wasn't going to get drunk and high. That counts for something, right?"

Mom chuckles. She also looks like she might be guilty about moving too. Good.

"Yeah. That would have been way worse than this. Just know there are gonna be a few more camera flashes than what you're use to," she reminds me.

Oh my God, she didn't punish me.

"Okay, Mom."

"Oh, and I'm shutting down your Netflix account for a week."

Yep, there it is.

"MOM!!!" I groan. "I need Netflix! It's my best friend that's always there when I need it. You can't just take it away!"

"I wonder if you feel the same way about that phone." I immediately shut my mouth. "That's what I thought."

*~*~*~*

I wake up the next morning with a smile on my face for genuinely no reason at all. JUST KIDDING! It's Friday, the last day of the week, where I get two days off until I go back to hell. I'm not even going to complain about it not being enough to really relax because at least it's something, right? I mean, kids in Asia only get one day? Who the heck can deal with that!? But then again, I guess that's the number one reason why they are smart enough to make these wonderful phones. Where as we Americans make gumbo. But honestly, what can top food? (Don't tell me you have an answer to that question.)