Eccedentesiast || l.r.h.

Chapter 17 - Massage

"Guys, what happened to the pizza?" It was untouched and gone cold, left on the mahogany dining table, I answered myself. "It's like somewhere in the kitchen," Michael answered. Somewhere in the kitchen, such admirable responsibility.

They were all back to video games and I was back on the couch oddly continuing to binge on cold crunchy baby carrots. I had my legs sprawled on the couch in the most unladylike way, at least in front of a guy it was unladylike. Shows you how much I was comfortable with them.

The couch was far to short for my whole body to fit. I had to rest my neck on the hand rest of the couch in order to avoid my ankles and foot sticking out of the couch. I rested my head on the surface of the cream hand rest of the couch. My toes were poking one side on the hand rest on the opposite side.

"Out of all," Crunch crunch,  goes the sound of baby carrots in my mouth, "food items," Crunch crunch, "that you could possibly buy," Crunch crunch, "You choose apples, cabbages, cauliflowers and shit like that," Crunch crunch.

"You guys need to lay off the calori-" I cut him off as I hadn't finish talking. "Like why couldn't you buy cherry tomatoes, celery or even fruits. There was legit one little sad apple sitting in the fridge!" I ranted while still crunching on baby carrots. "Like I was saying, you guys need to lay off the calories," Luke said, then he poked Calum's ribs with his big toe, "Especially you."

Calum flinched a little and swatted him away with 95% of his concentration on the game.

"What do you mean calories?" I threw a carrot in his direction. "Hey!" He chuckled but was still looking at the television. "You guys are going to be fat as fuck real fast," he added which made me throw another carrot at him. "Actually you know what, get more of these. I like throwing them at y'all."

"That's not very good of you wasting food," Michael chirped. I bit a carrot and spat it at Michael.

"EW WHAT THE FUCK," he dropped the controller and began grazing his neck, where the carrot hit, with his hands. "DID YOU ACTUALLY SPIT- EWWWWWEWEEW,"
He started making funny noises.

"MICHAEL YOU'RE LOSING," I snorted when I saw the rest of the boys taking advantage and shooting the living hell out of Michael's unarmed player in a shooting game of which I did not bother to know the name.

"OH HELL NO," In the midst of his  player's painful death and rapid decrease of health, he scrunched up his face and picked up his controller clumsily. But time was not on his side and he was to late to defend himself. He died. His player died, I meant. I mean if he died because he lost a game, I would've beat the living crap out of his corpse until he came back to life.

Michael turned back to the couch and gave me the stink eye. I only smirked. "DIE BITCH," He literally pounced on me, who was peacefully enjoying herself on the couch and tickled me. I was very ticklish mind you.

"AAAAAHHH STOP STOP STOP!" I screamed for my life. It was very weird. I was feeling a mixture of distress, pain (he probably didn't realize or forgot that I was a girl and he was pressurizing my boobs), trapped, the urge to laugh and cough at the same time but we all know that wouldn't be pretty and even more feeling of screaming my lungs out.

"MY BOOBS YOU IDIOT," I screeched. The boys all laughed. They sounded horrified but also amused. I kneed Michael's balls.

He flopped of the couch and landed on the ground with both hands on his crotch. "LUKE MY BALLS," This time it was his turn to screech. "EW WHAT THE FUCK STOP," Luke screeched too. His face was priceless. He was just watching us both wrestling with his face scrunched up in horror and his nose twitching a little.

Yeah, that went on for quite a while. I didn't massage my sore boobs in front of the boys although they were slowly killing me from the inside. Michael on the other hand, had his thighs securing his hands on his crotch, "Luke, massage my dick."

"WHICH LUKE," Said Luke and I at the same time, the only difference was Luke sounded even more terrified.