WANTED

Feelings{Chapter Seventeen}

I woke up feeling like crap.
My head was aching, my wrists were sore...that will teach me to never slit them.
I sat up in bed...wait, this wasn't my room.
I looked around me, nope, this wasn't my room.
I had a pretty good guess whose room it was.
Tyson's.
Oh boy...he must've found me in the kitchen.
I could imagine what I must've looked like, pinned against the fridge, a bloody knife at my feet, cuts on my wrists, hands in my hair...not a pretty picture.
I knew he was going to lecture me on the dangers of hurting myself.
I groaned and pulled the covers over my head.

"Get up, I want to show you something," a voice said coming into the room.

"Uh...no thanks," I said under the covers.

He pulled the covers away, "Come on C, don't make me get you out of bed."

"Then don't," I said grabbing the covers back.

"I'm giving you ten minutes to get ready," he said walking out of the room.
I groaned into the pillow and went to my room.
I took my time showering, and took even longer to brush my teeth, hair and get dressed.
I bandaged my wrist and stab wound and went downstairs for breakfast, then I went to Tyson's room.
I found him sitting at a table, typing away on his computer.
I closed the door behind me and walked up to him,"So what did you want to show me?"
He stood up and took my hands into his,"It's a room."
I gave him a huh? look.
"Just follow me," he said leading me out of his room.

Minutes later we stopped outside a door, Tyson opened it revealing a staircase.
I went in and gasped in surprise.
The room was was filled with ancient statues, and priceless artifacts, the room itself looked kind of ancient.
Which wasn't a problem because I loved ancient things.
The walls were filled with photographs of an old man with a little boy.
Most of the pictures were of them fishing, playing golf, chess, and of them looking at ancient cars.
I looked around at the tables and found maps as old as the man in the photos.
Then there were big books even older than the maps.
I opened the book and began coughing cause the dust was just too much, so I closed it.
I looked up at the ceiling and my mouth dropped to the floor, the whole ceiling looked like a galaxies - it was flipin' cool.
In every corner of the room, there was ancient artifacts of all kind.

"Why does this room look like a museum?" I asked in awe.

"You like it?" he asked.

"I love it," I breathed.
For as long as I can remember, I have been a huge fan of history.
This room was like it was made for me.
"My grandpa was a fan of history and artifacts, so he made his own mini museum where he could study history." Tyson said looking at the photographs.

"That man in the photographs is your grandpa?" I asked, standing next to him,"That little boy looks like you."

"Yeah, the little boy is me," he said, having a faraway look in his eyes."My grandpa died about two years ago, his death really effected me. He understood me better than my own father."

"He seems like he was a really cool man," i said.

"He was, out if my three brothers I was his favourite, him and I always got up to mischief," he laughed sadly.

"I never knew you had brothers," I said resting my head on his shoulders,"I'm sorry about your grandpa."

"Thank you," he said putting his hand around my shoulders,"My grandpa and I spent most of our time here exploring, my brothers never understood why grandpa and I did the things we did."

"Oh, so you and your grandpa were naughty? You said your father never understood you, why?"I asked.

"He wanted me to be like him, you know, be into business like him. But I wasn't interested...I was more interested in living the dangerous life,"he chuckled.
I had never seen him look so alive, he must have really loved his grandpa.
Now I understood why he didn't like to talk about his family...they didn't get him.
The way his grandpa did.
He turned to look at me...his brows were creased and he looked so...down and confused and hurt.
Those emotions made my heart skip a beat.

"T, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Don't ever do that," he began,"Don't ever cut yourself...please. I lost someone I really loved once - I can't do it again, I can't loose you."
I sighed and looked away.

"Damn it Courtney," he exclaimed,"Cutting yourself isn't the answer all - "

"Do you think I enjoy slitting my wrist!" I snapped,"Do you think I enjoy the pain? I hate feeling like this, I hate what I did and now I'm paying for it, every single night I have the same nightmare, Bob is in my head and, and I can't get him out, okay? Can we please drop the subject?"

"No. Not until you promise me that you won't cut yourself again," he growled.

"No, no. I can't promise you that," I said walking towards one of the tables with the maps on it,"I need to shut him up and slitting my wrists will help me shut him out...even if it's just for a while."

"Damn it Courtney! Are you hearing yourself? What the hell is wrong with you?" he demanded walking up to me.

I slammed my hands down on the table and angrily shook my head,"What is wrong with me. I'll tell you what is wrong with me, I don't know who I am anymore...I...I stabbed a human being, and you know what, the worst part of it is I wanted to kill him, I wanted him to suffer the way my mom did. And I'll do it all over again."

"You are not a heartless person,you are not that girl," he said.
Really?
Then who was I?

"In the past I was weak, I watched my parents' marriage fall apart, and I couldn't do anything about it, that's how weak I was. My own mother almost died because of me, but Bob proved me wrong...I'm not weak, not anymore. If I can stab someone...then I'm not weak... I'm a monster...oh gosh, who I am I kidding, I am a bad person, if Bob dies, his family will never forgive
me...I'll never forgive me."

"Hey hey, look at me." Tyson said taking my face into his hands forcing me to look at me,"You are not a monster, okay? You are brave, you saved your mother's life. You are not weak, don't blame yourself for you parents' divorce, it wasn't your fault."

By this point the tears were just flowing down my face.
Even after shouting at him, he still saw the best in me.
He wasn't scared of me, he didn't think I was a monster.
Could he have been right?

So here's the thing,Tyson showed Courts the mini museum because he wanted her to have a glimpse in his private life.
The room reminds him of his late grandfather, point is he doesn't want a room to remember Courtney by.
He wants her to see that her cutting herself doesn't only hurt her...but it hurts the ones that loves and cares s for her.
Dinela
Xoxo♥‼♥