Love and Revenge

Epolouge

One month later

Dirk's POV

"Jake, Jade called. She says to meet her at the Starbucks a few blocks from there house in like a few hours. She says there's something we should know."

"Can it wait? I mean I just got this treasure map and figured we could find some treasure! I mean come on! Adventure!"

"Its Jade, you know that if we don't go she will bitch slap me and then me again because she doesn't want to hit you."

Jake gets up from the couch and soon enough we're at Starbucks.

We sit down and a few minutes later in comes Jade and Dave, Dave looking like he always does, a total dork, and then Jade looking... fat. She looks like she swallowed a fucking watermelon.

"Hey guys!" Jade greets.

"Sup bro." Dave follows.

"Hey Jade, how are you doing?" Jake says politely. I think he notices that she's fat too like seriously it's like she has a planet growing inside of her.

"Jade when did you get fat?"

"DIRK!"

"What?"

"I was not going to say anything, sorry Jade he's a little moody." Jake says and gives me a death glare.

"What?! I'm just stating she looks like she's a balloon or something."

"OH MY GOD DIRK!"

"Excuse him he's moody too."

"ANYWAY! Jade didn't you want to tell us something?" Jake says trying to look like he is about to rip my head off.

"Yeah... there is a reason why I look like a 'balloon'" Jade says kind of wearily.

"And that reason is....?" Jake raises an eyebrow to this, still partially glaring at me.

She looks over to dave who gives her a reassuring smile and nods.

"I'm pregnant."

I was sipping on my amazing fabulous delicious coffee but suddenly it somehow gets spit out onto the table we're sitting at. "What? You're what? ...are y-you sure you didn't swallow a planet or something?!"

I start to feel old and then glare at Dave. "DAVID ELIZABETH STRIDER WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! AND WHEN THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS?!"

"Dirk calm down it's just-" Dave starts to speak but I'm already walking out the door.

"NO! FUCK YOU! I'M SO DONE WITH THIS! I'M WAY TOO PRETTY AND YOUNG FOR THIS! I CANNOT DEAL WITH BEING AN UNCLE!"

Jake's POV

Dirk is outside and I should probably go after him but it's pretty funny. I turn to Jade and give her a reassuring smile. "That is wonderful Jade, me and mr. Grumpy are very happy for you."

She smiles back and Dave is looking out the window at Dirk who is now trying to pick up a tree.

"I swear to god since you two have met he's been a lot more dramatic and emotional." Dave states and keeps watching as Dirk is banging his forehead against the tree.

"Oh so he hasn't always been like this?" I ask jokingly. "He just seems like the type of person who would always be like this."

"I bet he's on his period." Jade says laughing her ass off.

We all begin to laugh and agree. After a few minutes I get up from the table. "I should go get Dirk and make sure he doesn't hurt someone... or himself."

"See you later Jake!" Jade waves goodbye and smiles.

"Later Jake."

I walk out the Starbucks after buying Dirk a replacement drink and walk over to him. Currently he's laying down in dirt and staring up at the sky.

"Kill me now Jake, I'm so old now I'll probably die tomorrow anyway."

"Dirk you should be happy for your brother!"

"Oh I'm happy for him, I'm happy for both of them. My little brother is grown up. How could I not be happy for him?"

"Then what the hell is the matter?"

"Nothing. I just like being dramatic."

I roll my eyes and he gets up smiling. "You love me."

"I hate to say it but I do. God you're such an ass."

THE END 

For real this time ;)