Before The End (One Direction)

5. Emma's Life

The song Small Bump by Ed Sheeran is just perfect for Harry's feelings this chapter.

Harry's POV~

Cory and I kept the baby a complete secret for nearly two and a half months after finding out about its existence. She was starting to show slightly but not anything a sweatshirt couldn't hide. The baby was smaller than normal, but miraculously healthy and developing surprisingly normal despite Cory's habit of smoking half a pack a day and snorting cocaine. Everything was going okay except for the unfortunate fact that this was quickly catching up on me and I was still as sorrowfully clueless as before.

The secret finally got out the same day as her 18 week appointment.

"CORY: It's a girl btw"

I read the text over multiple times trying to understand what it said. I was having a daughter. A little baby girl. My baby was a girl. Somehow the news wasn't completely registering in my brain. I found myself incredibly happy at this knowledge and also incredibly terrified. The more time passed, the realer this all felt. I was only seventeen and in no way mature enough to raise a child. I couldn't even get myself to quite using coke for a week let alone remember to change diapers. You're the idiot that didn't want to be the baby anymore. I wanted to kick myself.

"Cory: I've been thinking about what to name her"
"Me: Emma"

I had been thinking about the name Emma for a while now. It had been my childhood friends name. She had died of cancer when I was in fourth year. Something about it just felt right to me. I'd spent long hours lying awake at night when sleep would not come, thinking about the strange little details of my predicament. I had been unable to find my brain capable of putting together the important details, like where she'd live, what she'd need for food or care or sleep, and how I'd take care of her but names had always been an idea to catch my attention.

"Cory: I'm not calling our daughter Emma that's so cliche"

I sighed without answering and stuffed my phone back into the depths of my pocket. Cory was quick to shut down my ideas, but had yet to come up with any herself.

"Who are you talking to Haz?" Niall asked me from a crossed the table. We were at the mall, seated towards the back in the food court. The entire band was here but it was a slow day and we'd been fortunate to avoid being bombarded by fans. Right now, me and Niall were alone, awaiting the return of the other three with our drinks.

I shrugged biting my lip. "Cory," I said lightly. "It's not important."

He looked at me quizzically and then went back to his fries. Moments later Louis, Liam, and Zayn returned with milkshakes in hand. They all spoke excitedly about the newest album but I couldn't really get interested. My mind was in a far off place full of ultrasound photos and fear. I could tell by the constant buzzing in my pocket that Cory was blowing up my phone but I didn't want to talk to her at the moment. I really just wanted to go home and smoke a little weed so that I could sleep easy and forget about my confusing and disorganized baby daddy responsibilities. I knew better than to think it was that easy. I wasn't the type of druggy that "smoked a little weed and then slept." I was the type that said I'd stop at a little and then use alot. And I knew I wouldn't just use weed. I'd start pouring lines of coke for myself until I was so high that I'd pass out and sleep on the floor right next to them until noon the next day when I'd wake up and finish off whatever I left out. I wasn't father material to say the least.